Changing last names

[Little Fish]

I've thought about this a lot actually....

In my family's tradition, we each get a new name as we cross the threshold of adulthood. After a lengthy period (years) of spritual work etc, we relinquish our "baby" names to embrace one which is more fitting of who we are as adults. (but really, your Grandmother is always going to be calling you by your baby name so don't even think you're gonna escape that! Yes Gram I'm looking at you....) Some family members have elected to have this be their new legal name while other family members use this new "adult" name only among family and during ceremonial occasions.

My name is as unique to me as my fingerprint, it fits me perfectly. I hope my future partner would consider taking my name but it's not a deal-breaker at all. We each have different cultural traditions and opinions about names and certainly I respect Hers, whatever they are....

Having said that, it would be an immense honor if she chose to share my name. It's only in the receiving, that the gift is given.

[Canela]

Originally Posted by Little Fish

We each have different cultural traditions and opinions about names and certainly I respect Hers, whatever they are....

Having said that, it would be an immense honor if she chose to share my name. It's only in the receiving, that the gift is given.

I loved what you said here, Little Fish, thank you. I couldn't have put it any better.

I just want to explain why I feel the way I do:

I am a hispanic (latina) queer stone femme...I prefer partnering with a TG/FtM individual. I am from a very culturally submissive background (in my world/region/family). However--

I come from very activist parents (Chicanos ala Gloria Anzaldua)--my mother a feminist, my father a union organizer/steward--but that's another story...trust me, I am NOT a pushover...I am a strong, smart, honest, opinionated, independent, loving, amazing woman...I will not lower my head nor my standards for anyone...I do what I want, how I want, when I want, (hopefully in a very fair and loving way, but sometimes not)...

When I marry I would like to give something very precious and important to my partner. Not my power or voice, but my heart and my commitment to the relationship.

Even if I didn't partner with masculine identified personalities, and I chose to be married/civil union to someone other than that, to me--I would want to retain my own heritage/culture/traditions while adopting those of my partner, even if he/she is not of the same culture.

So, the hyphen comes from my consenting to take his name as a partner to our union--a gift of myself to him. He is my other half at that point, hence the hyphen. Half me, half him...