In love with my best friend

LediskoLove99 · 07-08-2011, 10:49 AM

So my best friend and I met online about three years ago and we are extremely close, closer than I have ever been with anyone in my life. As a matter of fact I'm in her room right now, having a very lovely visit with her. It's our first time actually seeing each other face to face. And I had suspected for a long time that I was falling in love with her but when I first saw her my heart seriously just dropped to my feet. She was more gorgeous than I thought possible and she's just so beautiful in so many ways. The thing is we've had this conversation we're both aware that when we first met we were really attracted to each other but once we became close we just kind of ignored it. Now she's my best friend and I love her with all of my heart and soul and I'm also in love with her, my first time really falling in love and it has to be my best friend. She has this friend we'll call her B that she flirts back and forth with and we've been spending a lot of time with her and when they hug each other they just hold on for so long and my friend, we'll call her S looks so damn happy and like she could just stay there forever and it kills me. I want to be the one to hug her like that. I want to hold her and make her smile and be close to her. And B is straight but you can tell there's mutual chemistry. And I want to hate B because it hurts so bad but she's so sweet and I just can't hate her, I love her. But it still kills me. And all I can do is think about her, when I know she's coming home from work I get so excited and I just can't wait to see her. And my God she smells sooo good. But I know she doesn't feel that way, she feels that way about this girl and it hurts worse than I ever thought it could. I used to hear people talking about it and thought, well it can't be that bad. I was horribly, horribly wrong. I don't want to feel this way about her, I just want it to stop because that would make it all so much easier. But if she's happy with B then I'm happy even if it kills me. I just love her so very much. It's just horrible when I hear her talking about her and she get's this smile and you can tell she wants her and it's just terrible.

There wasn't much point to this other than to vent. I have no one else to talk to about this, I talk to her about EVERYTHING and this is the one thing I can't so I have no one to go to with this. And it's just completely killing me. I have never wanted someone so bad in my life in every single way, I love everything about her, EVERYTHING even the bad but she doesn't want me that way she wants her other friend and there's nothing I can do about it except sit back and let it happen and hope she's happy. Because as long as she's happy that's all that matters to me. Even if it hurts. And I never knew that you could seriously feel this way about someone. Ever.

It sucks the first person I fall in love with, honestly fall in love with is my best friend and has feelings for someone else. I apologize this is a little jumbled but I just have so much on my mind with it and it's killing me. I don't want to lose her, I don't think I would she would never leave me for this kind of thing because I think she knows but I don't want to ruin anything by telling her. Besides nothing would ever happen. Although that would make life wonderful beyond belief but it won't happen plus we live six hours away from each other so it just wouldn't work. This sucks.

Being around her is amazing it just makes everything seem so much better I love her smile, her laugh. Her voice is just so adorable and she can make me laugh for hours just by being her goofy adorable self. I just need someone other than her to vent to about this, someone who understands. Because it's the worst feeling ever.

Most of all I just want her to be happy. She deserves so much happiness.

I just need someone to talk to about this so bad and I don't know what to do, I would love to talk to her about this but since she's the one I feel this way about that's not going to happen. I just hate feeling alone in this. I have to keep it to myself and that just makes it so much more worse.

iamkeri1 · 07-24-2011, 10:18 AM

I think you are wrong - you not only can talk to her about it, you SHOULD talk to her about it.

Has she told you shes in love with thie straight woman? If not, don't assume she is. My best friend (for thirty years) and I love each other so much. We hugs and kiss and sit side by side. We call each other honey and baby and love and any other stupid love word you can think of. When she came to visit me my children kept saying "You guys are lovers! You guys are lovers!", but we are not and never have been.

The point is, you are in love with her - Tell her!

My late husband and I were frineds for years. He kept telling me "I love you" I kept saying, "I love you too." But I thought we meant in a friendship way. After a Loooooooog time he finally said. "I want you to listen to me. I not only love you, I am IN LOVE WITH YOU!!" Well it changed the way I looked at him instantly. We ended up spending twenty five happy years together before he died.

Take a chance!
Smooches,
Keri

bigbutchmistie · 07-24-2011, 10:59 AM

Hey I wanna start by saying I totally agree with IamKeri1

I have been in your shoes before. It hurts like hell. But, when you love someone you truly want their happiness even if its not you.

For me, I HAD to tell her. She had to know. I couldnt eat, I couldnt sleep, and she was on my mind all the time. The scent of her perfume the tenderness of her touch although innocently drove me insane. LOL

Even though I knew she was in love with someone else. And she only saw me as a friend. I couldnt help but think, what if??? What if she knew how I felt? Would she see me differently?

So I gathered all the guts I could muster up on night and sat her down looked into those beautiful eyes and told her. She told me she HAD felt the same way but she moved on with her feelings since she never knew I felt the same.. She had begun dating the wonderful butch she is married to now.

While it hurt, that she didnt feel the same anymore. I felt like if it was meant to be it WOULD have been no matter what.

I dont regret telling her. At least she knew, and it relieved me. Now, we are close friends and I am close to her husbutch as well.

So take a chance. You never know how wonderful something could turn out to be. But one thing is for sure. What's meant to be WILL happen.

Best of luck to ya!

I dont regret telling her. One I felt better, and two I could rule her out as the one.

imperfect_cupcake · 07-24-2011, 02:37 PM

I've been there. It took a LONG time to build up the guts to say anything. But when I did it turns out he knew anyway and he felt the same but was really nervous himself. We had sex for three days with short breaks for eating and sleeping. We were together for four and a half years... it just petered out into best friends at the end, partly because I suspected I was gay. We still adore each other and we both finish each others stories and sentences. His partners have gotten jealous over our friendship even though he tells them "but she's GAY".

If B is straight I think you might be worrying for nothing. My best mate is straight and when we lived in the same city we used even take baths together with a cup of coffee each as a make-do hot tub (we always managed to get flats with giant claws feet tubs). I adore her, she's like my sister, I love her very very much. I have had partners get jealous of my relationship with her, which she found hilarious and used to take the piss a bit about it with anyone who did get jealous. She's a bit wicked that way. But I never understood why. Although I love her to smithereens, I would NEVER have a relationship with her, even if she were gay. Not a chance. She'd drive me insane.

You really should tell your friend when you are able to, cause this is going to eat at you until you burst. And what if she started dating someone when you could have asked her first?

Work up to it and do it.

atomiczombie · 07-24-2011, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LediskoLove99

So my best friend and I met online about three years ago and we are extremely close, closer than I have ever been with anyone in my life. As a matter of fact I'm in her room right now, having a very lovely visit with her. It's our first time actually seeing each other face to face. And I had suspected for a long time that I was falling in love with her but when I first saw her my heart seriously just dropped to my feet. She was more gorgeous than I thought possible and she's just so beautiful in so many ways. The thing is we've had this conversation we're both aware that when we first met we were really attracted to each other but once we became close we just kind of ignored it. Now she's my best friend and I love her with all of my heart and soul and I'm also in love with her, my first time really falling in love and it has to be my best friend. She has this friend we'll call her B that she flirts back and forth with and we've been spending a lot of time with her and when they hug each other they just hold on for so long and my friend, we'll call her S looks so damn happy and like she could just stay there forever and it kills me. I want to be the one to hug her like that. I want to hold her and make her smile and be close to her. And B is straight but you can tell there's mutual chemistry. And I want to hate B because it hurts so bad but she's so sweet and I just can't hate her, I love her. But it still kills me. And all I can do is think about her, when I know she's coming home from work I get so excited and I just can't wait to see her. And my God she smells sooo good. But I know she doesn't feel that way, she feels that way about this girl and it hurts worse than I ever thought it could. I used to hear people talking about it and thought, well it can't be that bad. I was horribly, horribly wrong. I don't want to feel this way about her, I just want it to stop because that would make it all so much easier. But if she's happy with B then I'm happy even if it kills me. I just love her so very much. It's just horrible when I hear her talking about her and she get's this smile and you can tell she wants her and it's just terrible.

There wasn't much point to this other than to vent. I have no one else to talk to about this, I talk to her about EVERYTHING and this is the one thing I can't so I have no one to go to with this. And it's just completely killing me. I have never wanted someone so bad in my life in every single way, I love everything about her, EVERYTHING even the bad but she doesn't want me that way she wants her other friend and there's nothing I can do about it except sit back and let it happen and hope she's happy. Because as long as she's happy that's all that matters to me. Even if it hurts. And I never knew that you could seriously feel this way about someone. Ever.

It sucks the first person I fall in love with, honestly fall in love with is my best friend and has feelings for someone else. I apologize this is a little jumbled but I just have so much on my mind with it and it's killing me. I don't want to lose her, I don't think I would she would never leave me for this kind of thing because I think she knows but I don't want to ruin anything by telling her. Besides nothing would ever happen. Although that would make life wonderful beyond belief but it won't happen plus we live six hours away from each other so it just wouldn't work. This sucks.

Being around her is amazing it just makes everything seem so much better I love her smile, her laugh. Her voice is just so adorable and she can make me laugh for hours just by being her goofy adorable self. I just need someone other than her to vent to about this, someone who understands. Because it's the worst feeling ever.

Most of all I just want her to be happy. She deserves so much happiness.

I just need someone to talk to about this so bad and I don't know what to do, I would love to talk to her about this but since she's the one I feel this way about that's not going to happen. I just hate feeling alone in this. I have to keep it to myself and that just makes it so much more worse.

This is a really tough situation. However, if your friend is technically single, then tell her NOW how you feel before she is committed to someone else. If she doesn't return your feelings, and I know that can really really hurt, then you have 3 choices: 1. Walk away and don't see her or talk to her anymore. 2. Put some distance between you two to protect your heart. Take some time to get over her, tell her you need some space but when you are ready you want to continue the friendship. Then really focus on YOU and healing. 3. Bite down your feelings and just be a supportive friend to her. Like you said, if your really do love her then her happiness is what is most important, even if that means her being with someone else. It's sometimes a really hard pill to swallow. However, if you can put all your romantic feelings for her in a box, and stick them away on a shelf, then you can just focus on the friendship and be grateful to have her in your life at all. If you are seeing her every day that might be too hard. If you are seeing her carry on with this other person right up in your face then that isn't a situation you want to expose yourself to. Take care of yourself.

Quintease · 07-24-2011, 03:48 PM

Tell her! Seriously, the worst that can happen is that she could say "I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way". It'll hurt, but you knew that anyway.

If you really can't tell her, then don't forget that was your choice. Please don't do what my best friend did and hold it all inside until you can't bear it any more.. The resulting explosion nearly destroyed our friendship, and while we remained friends it was never the same again.

Tell your friend and hope to God her lack of interest will be the key to let you go.

Good luck x

LediskoLove99 · 08-06-2011, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigbutchmistie

Hey I wanna start by saying I totally agree with IamKeri1

I have been in your shoes before. It hurts like hell. But, when you love someone you truly want their happiness even if its not you.

For me, I HAD to tell her. She had to know. I couldnt eat, I couldnt sleep, and she was on my mind all the time. The scent of her perfume the tenderness of her touch although innocently drove me insane. LOL

Even though I knew she was in love with someone else. And she only saw me as a friend. I couldnt help but think, what if??? What if she knew how I felt? Would she see me differently?

So I gathered all the guts I could muster up on night and sat her down looked into those beautiful eyes and told her. She told me she HAD felt the same way but she moved on with her feelings since she never knew I felt the same.. She had begun dating the wonderful butch she is married to now.

While it hurt, that she didnt feel the same anymore. I felt like if it was meant to be it WOULD have been no matter what.

I dont regret telling her. At least she knew, and it relieved me. Now, we are close friends and I am close to her husbutch as well.

So take a chance. You never know how wonderful something could turn out to be. But one thing is for sure. What's meant to be WILL happen.

Best of luck to ya!

I dont regret telling her. One I felt better, and two I could rule her out as the one.

Thanks for the advice that sounds like it was a really horrible situation. I feel your pain.

I told her, a little too late. She's dating this girl. SHe just hugged me and said it was ok to feel that way and she loves me. But it hurts especially when I see them so cute and coupley together. But that's ok, I know in the beginning of our friendship she was really attracted to me. So once I move closer to her, I'll just see what happens. It sucks but you never know what can happen.

The_Lady_Snow · 08-06-2011, 12:29 PM

Do you think movíng closer to her is going to change things??

bigbutchmistie · 08-06-2011, 01:45 PM

Nope it doesnt. But that's just my experience...

07-08-2011, 10:49 AM	#1
LediskoLove99 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Permanently neurotic. Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Michigan Posts: 25 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26 Thanked 100 Times in 19 Posts Rep Power: 380891	In love with my best friend So my best friend and I met online about three years ago and we are extremely close, closer than I have ever been with anyone in my life. As a matter of fact I'm in her room right now, having a very lovely visit with her. It's our first time actually seeing each other face to face. And I had suspected for a long time that I was falling in love with her but when I first saw her my heart seriously just dropped to my feet. She was more gorgeous than I thought possible and she's just so beautiful in so many ways. The thing is we've had this conversation we're both aware that when we first met we were really attracted to each other but once we became close we just kind of ignored it. Now she's my best friend and I love her with all of my heart and soul and I'm also in love with her, my first time really falling in love and it has to be my best friend. She has this friend we'll call her B that she flirts back and forth with and we've been spending a lot of time with her and when they hug each other they just hold on for so long and my friend, we'll call her S looks so damn happy and like she could just stay there forever and it kills me. I want to be the one to hug her like that. I want to hold her and make her smile and be close to her. And B is straight but you can tell there's mutual chemistry. And I want to hate B because it hurts so bad but she's so sweet and I just can't hate her, I love her. But it still kills me. And all I can do is think about her, when I know she's coming home from work I get so excited and I just can't wait to see her. And my God she smells sooo good. But I know she doesn't feel that way, she feels that way about this girl and it hurts worse than I ever thought it could. I used to hear people talking about it and thought, well it can't be that bad. I was horribly, horribly wrong. I don't want to feel this way about her, I just want it to stop because that would make it all so much easier. But if she's happy with B then I'm happy even if it kills me. I just love her so very much. It's just horrible when I hear her talking about her and she get's this smile and you can tell she wants her and it's just terrible. There wasn't much point to this other than to vent. I have no one else to talk to about this, I talk to her about EVERYTHING and this is the one thing I can't so I have no one to go to with this. And it's just completely killing me. I have never wanted someone so bad in my life in every single way, I love everything about her, EVERYTHING even the bad but she doesn't want me that way she wants her other friend and there's nothing I can do about it except sit back and let it happen and hope she's happy. Because as long as she's happy that's all that matters to me. Even if it hurts. And I never knew that you could seriously feel this way about someone. Ever. It sucks the first person I fall in love with, honestly fall in love with is my best friend and has feelings for someone else. I apologize this is a little jumbled but I just have so much on my mind with it and it's killing me. I don't want to lose her, I don't think I would she would never leave me for this kind of thing because I think she knows but I don't want to ruin anything by telling her. Besides nothing would ever happen. Although that would make life wonderful beyond belief but it won't happen plus we live six hours away from each other so it just wouldn't work. This sucks. Being around her is amazing it just makes everything seem so much better I love her smile, her laugh. Her voice is just so adorable and she can make me laugh for hours just by being her goofy adorable self. I just need someone other than her to vent to about this, someone who understands. Because it's the worst feeling ever. Most of all I just want her to be happy. She deserves so much happiness. I just need someone to talk to about this so bad and I don't know what to do, I would love to talk to her about this but since she's the one I feel this way about that's not going to happen. I just hate feeling alone in this. I have to keep it to myself and that just makes it so much more worse. __________________ Me: Fuck spellcheck! Sarah: Should I take it out to dinner first? Me: That would only be proper.

07-24-2011, 03:48 PM	#6
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,816 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10345577	Tell her! Seriously, the worst that can happen is that she could say "I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way". It'll hurt, but you knew that anyway. If you really can't tell her, then don't forget that was your choice. Please don't do what my best friend did and hold it all inside until you can't bear it any more.. The resulting explosion nearly destroyed our friendship, and while we remained friends it was never the same again. Tell your friend and hope to God her lack of interest will be the key to let you go. Good luck x __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

08-06-2011, 12:29 PM	#8
The_Lady_Snow MILLION $$$ PUSSY How Do You Identify?: Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Iconic Ms. Relationship Status: Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: La Reina del Sur Posts: 22,488 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 32,231 Thanked 80,119 Times in 15,678 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Do you think movíng closer to her is going to change things?? __________________ "If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden

07-24-2011, 10:18 AM	#2
iamkeri1 Member How Do You Identify?: femme woman Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Central Florida Posts: 821 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 250 Thanked 1,944 Times in 584 Posts Rep Power: 14065934	I think you are wrong - you not only can talk to her about it, you SHOULD talk to her about it. Has she told you shes in love with thie straight woman? If not, don't assume she is. My best friend (for thirty years) and I love each other so much. We hugs and kiss and sit side by side. We call each other honey and baby and love and any other stupid love word you can think of. When she came to visit me my children kept saying "You guys are lovers! You guys are lovers!", but we are not and never have been. The point is, you are in love with her - Tell her! My late husband and I were frineds for years. He kept telling me "I love you" I kept saying, "I love you too." But I thought we meant in a friendship way. After a Loooooooog time he finally said. "I want you to listen to me. I not only love you, I am IN LOVE WITH YOU!!" Well it changed the way I looked at him instantly. We ended up spending twenty five happy years together before he died. Take a chance! Smooches, Keri

07-24-2011, 10:59 AM	#3
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Hey I wanna start by saying I totally agree with IamKeri1 I have been in your shoes before. It hurts like hell. But, when you love someone you truly want their happiness even if its not you. For me, I HAD to tell her. She had to know. I couldnt eat, I couldnt sleep, and she was on my mind all the time. The scent of her perfume the tenderness of her touch although innocently drove me insane. LOL Even though I knew she was in love with someone else. And she only saw me as a friend. I couldnt help but think, what if??? What if she knew how I felt? Would she see me differently? So I gathered all the guts I could muster up on night and sat her down looked into those beautiful eyes and told her. She told me she HAD felt the same way but she moved on with her feelings since she never knew I felt the same.. She had begun dating the wonderful butch she is married to now. While it hurt, that she didnt feel the same anymore. I felt like if it was meant to be it WOULD have been no matter what. I dont regret telling her. At least she knew, and it relieved me. Now, we are close friends and I am close to her husbutch as well. So take a chance. You never know how wonderful something could turn out to be. But one thing is for sure. What's meant to be WILL happen. Best of luck to ya! I dont regret telling her. One I felt better, and two I could rule her out as the one.

07-24-2011, 02:37 PM	#4
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,727 Times in 1,613 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I've been there. It took a LONG time to build up the guts to say anything. But when I did it turns out he knew anyway and he felt the same but was really nervous himself. We had sex for three days with short breaks for eating and sleeping. We were together for four and a half years... it just petered out into best friends at the end, partly because I suspected I was gay. We still adore each other and we both finish each others stories and sentences. His partners have gotten jealous over our friendship even though he tells them "but she's GAY". If B is straight I think you might be worrying for nothing. My best mate is straight and when we lived in the same city we used even take baths together with a cup of coffee each as a make-do hot tub (we always managed to get flats with giant claws feet tubs). I adore her, she's like my sister, I love her very very much. I have had partners get jealous of my relationship with her, which she found hilarious and used to take the piss a bit about it with anyone who did get jealous. She's a bit wicked that way. But I never understood why. Although I love her to smithereens, I would NEVER have a relationship with her, even if she were gay. Not a chance. She'd drive me insane. You really should tell your friend when you are able to, cause this is going to eat at you until you burst. And what if she started dating someone when you could have asked her first? Work up to it and do it.

08-06-2011, 01:45 PM	#9
bigbutchmistie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Since You Need A Label. Butch Relationship Status: Still Dreaming Of My Happily Ever After Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Arlington Texas Posts: 4,009 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,950 Thanked 5,364 Times in 1,941 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Nope it doesnt. But that's just my experience...