A Community Request

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by SassyLeo

I love the "personal bubble"

A couple of years ago, June and I were talking about friendships and she said "friend bubble". It made SO much sense to me!

What got me thinking is how we all come from our own life experiences and then from all kinds of different communities...some of us know each other from more than one and each has their own dynamic. I think it is easy for those environments to bleed into each other... and although it can be great when they collide, I think it is also important to remember the different energies... "bubbles"

June - please explain better

I think I see where you are going with this. In my mind's eye, I see those hideous circles they made us do in geometry that are separate but some overlap.

For example, one circle would be blue and over there. One circle would be red and over here. There would be a section of the circles that overlapped (those with common elements, such as mutual friends or interests) and that section would be purple. Each circle has its own environment and parameters but the purple is unique in that it is a blend of the two separate circles (with their energies already in place), therefore coming up with its own energy that is derived from the energies of the red and blue circles.

Okay, it may not make sense to anyone else, but I get it.

[waxnrope]

Originally Posted by Gemme

I think I see where you are going with this...

Okay, it may not make sense to anyone else, but I get it.

I am so glad that you get it ...

[WolfyOne]

This thread is turning out to be just what I expected.......shared effort and community spirit.

I remember how hard it was for me to find my place and fit in, way back. When on another site as a newbie, many old timers would jump on anything you wrote that didn't conform to their way of thinking. I used to back away from many threads because of it. Over the last couple of years, I've learned to hold my own. I promised myself when this site opened and I became a member that I would not put anyone through what I had to go through to fit in somewhere. I've tried really hard to help newbies I see here if I'm not familiar with them from another place. I want us to keep new members not chase them away. Community is about standing up for each other and helping those that don't understand to be aware. We have to remember, we were them once. Debates are great, but not at the cost of embarrassing another in public view.

Admin, thank you for all you do to make this a great place. A place that feels like a home. A place worth coming back, again and again. A place where love or at least like is felt and not hate. A place where as a community we can help others become whomever they want to be.

[Dude]

We might could use some of them there aura fluffers

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Dude

We might could use some of them there aura fluffers

I hesitate to use any kind of fluffer.

[Dude]

Originally Posted by Gemme

I hesitate to use any kind of fluffer.

it's only scarey the first time

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Dude

it's only scarey the first time

I'll take your word for it.

[Nat]

Originally Posted by Gemme

I hesitate to use any kind of fluffer.

you crack me up.

I wouldn't even know what a fluffer is if I hadn't seen that documentary about anabelle chong. I wonder how one goes about becoming a professional fluffer. Like, is it a job you just fall into, or is it more of a chosen career path? I would totally like to read a history of fluffers.

[waxnrope]

ok, I'll bite: what is a fluffer? a person who fluffs pillow? I dunno! maybe it's something on the new iPhone!

[Nat]

A fluffer is a sort of stage hand (or mouth) - for porn. A person whose job is to keep the actors from going soft between scenes (or while they are waiting their turn). At least that's my impression.

[Dude]

maybeee instead of warnings, posting offenders could be given a blank screen with
a Tony Orlando and Dawn medley to simmah them down with. I say a half hour on repeat just might do the trick.

[Fancy]

Originally Posted by Nat

A fluffer is a sort of stage hand (or mouth) - for porn. A person whose job is to keep the actors from going soft between scenes (or while they are waiting their turn). At least that's my impression).

OMG I had no idea.

And all this time I was imagining reheating (fluffing) the clothes in the dryer.

[Ryobi]

Originally Posted by Nat

A fluffer is a sort of stage hand (or mouth) - for porn. A person whose job is to keep the actors from going soft between scenes (or while they are waiting their turn). At least that's my impression).

I can assure you, they aren't stagehands but, you are right about what a fluffer's "job" is.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Nat

A fluffer is a sort of stage hand (or mouth) - for porn. A person whose job is to keep the actors from going soft between scenes (or while they are waiting their turn). At least that's my impression.

Yep. Gotta keep those boys upright and tight!

Originally Posted by Dude

maybeee instead of warnings, posting offenders could be given a blank screen with
a Tony Orlando and Dawn medley to simmah them down with. I say a half hour on repeat just might do the trick.

William Hung? That would cure me.

[Random]

A couple years ago Eve used her apt as an analagy and it sort of stuck with me.. (I'm incredibly protective of my home space)

There are people who wait at the door while you grab your purse, there are people who come in a sit on the sofa, there are people who can get something from the fridge, and then there are the people who can lay on your bed...

With me... If you try to go from waiting at the door to sitting on my bed while I put my shoes on without doing th work.. Well, that's going to get you being met at the movies and not being even invited to my house..

For me.. it's all about stages and respecting someone's space...

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Random

A couple years ago Eve used her apt as an analagy and it sort of stuck with me.. (I'm incredibly protective of my home space)

There are people who wait at the door while you grab your purse, there are people who come in a sit on the sofa, there are people who can get something from the fridge, and then there are the people who can lay on your bed...

With me... If you try to go from waiting at the door to sitting on my bed while I put my shoes on without doing th work.. Well, that's going to get you being met at the movies and not being even invited to my house..

For me.. it's all about stages and respecting someone's space...

I've given out too much rep again, so I can't rep this to you privately (and I was going to say something anyway, soo....)....

I love this analogy. Thank you and Eve for it. The physical space may only be a few yards but for every yard someone would get closer to me, there is quite likely weeks or possibly months of familiarity behind it.

[SassyLeo]

Originally Posted by Gemme

I think I see where you are going with this. In my mind's eye, I see those hideous circles they made us do in geometry that are separate but some overlap.

For example, one circle would be blue and over there. One circle would be red and over here. There would be a section of the circles that overlapped (those with common elements, such as mutual friends or interests) and that section would be purple. Each circle has its own environment and parameters but the purple is unique in that it is a blend of the two separate circles (with their energies already in place), therefore coming up with its own energy that is derived from the energies of the red and blue circles.

Okay, it may not make sense to anyone else, but I get it.

Yes!

I remember when I first became involved in the community. I joined the dash site and I purposely spent a fair amount of time reading...trying to guage the tone of language and conversation dynamics.

At first I spent alot of time in the "fluff" threads because I didn't feel I was as knowledgeable about gender and b-f stuff. I didn't want to appear or sound lame... I don't recall it being specifically about others being made fun of or called out, mostly my own fear of sounding like a total idiot.

Gradually as I learned and read more, I participated in the more intense threads and I am sure I still said some completely ridiculous stuff (and still do), but I was much more willing to take the risk - I think partially because I felt more "comfy" with the site energy and also I think by that time I had met some folks in person (bay area b-f group events), so it made it easier for me to connect.

I try to give the benefit of the doubt... I think (someone can call me on this if I'm oblivious )

[Strappie]

Medusa....

What a great reminder and thank you for posting this. I think it is important that we ask to clarify before we JUMP all over someone. I have seen a few times when someone refers to someone as one ID and they are not that ID and that person gets ridiculed. If they are new they will NOT have a clue as to what YOU ID AS....

I for one am all for being patient and giving them the opportunity to get to know who I am and how ID as.

I agree with everything else that was said too!!

Thank you once again Medusa!~

[Arwen]

Some threads need bumping. Read the first post first.

[Medusa]

Hey Planeteers!

I'm bumping this thread in anticipation of what might be a small influx of new signups. We have steadily seen anywhere from 5 - 15 new signups a day for a long time, with it being a strong average of 10 a day most of the time.
I just renewed an ad on Facebook with some vey specific targeted marketing toward Butches, Femmes, Genderqueers, and Transfolks who might not yet be members of the site. This might mean that we get several new people who are either new to the dynamic or new to having a "home" on a community forum.
I wanted to ask everyone to read the first post in this thread again as a reminder of how to greet newbies or help folks find their way who are new here. I trust that everyone here will be amazing!

Thanks!
me