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Breakups, Lessons Learned, Healing PLEASE do not use this forum for ugliness or nasty posts. |
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03-06-2012, 01:59 PM | #1 |
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Important things I learned from past relationships
I feel like I spend all my time on here focusing on my past bad relationships, whereas most of mine have been really good! Of course memories are always slightly tainted by breakups (which are never nice) but I always walk away with something valuable, no matter how awful the relationship.
I learned I had a beautiful voice and that I could sing from the first person I truly loved. I learned about dirty, kinky sex from another relationship which unfortunately turned dirty and nasty. I learned that organisation isn't that hard, from someone I admire to this day, and I learned that I can write from a relationship which left me broke What important things have you learned which you can't now live without?
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03-06-2012, 03:24 PM | #2 |
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my need for kink!!! my first Sir taught me that
my love for doing bodywork, i was told i had a gift and i listened, i went to school for it and it's what i do today my photography is decent and that i can actually sell pictures sometimes, i loved selling them at the resort and in town in Oregon and now online. my first real love showed me that i am really queer, RIP Hazel remembering the good stuff is important, i've had some good times in my life! i am learning so much in my current relationship, which will never be a past relationship, that i could burst. |
03-06-2012, 03:26 PM | #3 |
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i've always known the type of person that elevates who i am. but i wasn't lucky enough to keep her. she taught me the very thing this thread is about. she taught me to leave "the room" better than when i walked in "the door". she left me with a deeper meaning. she looked behind the blade of grass, ... it's never ending. life is about discovery.
i miss her, always will. |
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03-06-2012, 04:44 PM | #4 |
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from the past I only bring the good to the present.
I have expereince beautiful love. Nasty raw love making, Cold fish, truth and lies.
I also know that not all women are the same,there are great ladies in the world worthy of love and trust. My quote Do not tell me who you are.... show me.
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03-06-2012, 07:09 PM | #5 |
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My past relationships have helped me to set my limits...what I want and what I need. And how to forgive.
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03-06-2012, 07:33 PM | #6 |
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My past relationships taught me about what I really want in a relationship. That's probably why I've been single for so long. I won't settle and I can wait forever if need be. I want the real thing that will last a long long time.
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03-06-2012, 08:36 PM | #7 |
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I learned how to survive them.
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03-06-2012, 09:29 PM | #8 |
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I learned that it is just as painful to break someone’s heart as it is to have your own broken. Actually if I am being really honest, it was less excruciating to be left than it was to leave. I was in a relationship for eleven years and I spent the last five of it trying to get free without breaking her heart. Of course it wasn’t possible and in the end I hurt her badly. This changed me and affected the way I experienced love for years after. It was less painful when a woman I was with for six years decided she wasn’t in love with me anymore and wanted to pursue a relationship with a man she met at work. That hurt but because I was the one who was left it was easier.
I guess what I am trying to say is that it’s never easy when love ends, both parties suffer. Until it happened to me I just assumed it would hurt worse to be dumped. Not true. At least not for me. Promising to love someone forever and then falling out of love and taking back my promise taught me a couple of things. It taught me to be careful what I promise. And it taught me that when love ends for one person but doesn’t for the other there isn’t anything either party can do. It isn’t fair to expect someone to love you when they don’t. And it doesn’t say anything about you. Love just ends sometimes. Learning this made it easier to deal with when I was the one being dumped. The other thing I learned is that when it comes to love there is never a happy ending. I guess if you die together in a plane crash or something…but other than that it’s destined to be painful at some point. There is always a risk to love. But it’s worth it. |
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03-06-2012, 09:46 PM | #9 |
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I learned to trust my own gut instinct.
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Stephanie "There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." Christopher Morley |
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03-06-2012, 10:08 PM | #10 |
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My mistakes plus how strong I am in my believes and faith.
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03-06-2012, 10:43 PM | #11 |
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I learned about pure love, the kind that endures even when the "relationship" ends. My exes are with a very rare exception like family to me. Once I love I love forever.
I've learned to keep my heart open and free even if it means loss. Truth is we always lose in love even if we find the love of our life and are lucky to stay together forever, we someday lose them to death. |
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03-06-2012, 11:33 PM | #12 |
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I learned:
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03-07-2012, 12:44 AM | #13 |
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Important things I learned from past relationships...
Who I was then is not who I am now. I strive to grow and learn from each past relationship respectively. I do have a voice. I am more willing to forgive and forget than to harbor ill feelings toward the one I claim to love. Communication is absolutely key to a successful relationship. Disagreements are truly healthy as long as they are resolved through love and understanding. If you put the mind, body, soul perspective into the relationship, as with anything, you can never go wrong. There is always room for improvement... |
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03-07-2012, 01:06 AM | #14 |
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That it is worth the risk leaving a comfortable, long term relationship to go after what you truly need and want (even if it does take more than 10 years to find it)
That it is far better to be single than to be in a bad relationship. Spending that time being single gives you the opportunity to focus on yourself and gain confidence that you really are not desperate and you will wait for the right relationship to come along and if it doesn't you will be just fine. That all the mistakes and stumbles along the way do help prepare you for the right relationship and helps you appreciate it even more.
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03-07-2012, 06:27 AM | #15 |
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i've also learned what i will not put up with
i've learned not to stretch the hard limits, that never works |
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03-07-2012, 10:06 AM | #16 |
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No you can't change me and I can't change you. If either of us feels that the other needs to be changed, then probably we should just be friends.
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03-07-2012, 10:08 AM | #17 |
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To never take love for granted. Did that when I was young.
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03-07-2012, 10:15 AM | #18 |
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I am a worthy person.
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03-07-2012, 10:21 AM | #19 |
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i am worthy, yes !
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03-07-2012, 10:24 AM | #20 |
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That our journey is important. The people that come into our lives are needed for us to become the best people we can be.
Even when it is tough and some relationships are not good, there are things we can learn from them to become better people. Being able to stay friends with someone we care about says a lot about character. That some of us are way better off as friends or acquaintances and should have never went down that "road". Move on, let go of mistakes and heartache, don't dwell on the negative people that come and go in our lives or the negative situations. Just be happy and be proud of who we are. Learn from our mistakes, dust your boots off and never be afraid of loving again. When you least expect it, your true love can come a'callin. And you will realize the journey was worth it.
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