Is revenge OK?

[Soft*Silver]

I believe in revenge. But it had better be for a good reason, nothing stupid like someone breaking you and your partner up. Harm my daughter in a peak way, and by god and all the angels, I will seek revenge. You can call it any word you want, avenge, revenge, defend, etc. It will still result in the same action and result. And of course, I will pay any consequence associated with it. We can do anything we want to do as long as we are willing to pay the consequences. For this, I would.

Other than the above example, no one has done anything to me in this life that has needed revenge. Oh I thought about it twice in my life, both associated with past relationships. But I had to put my energy into healing, which is positive energy, instead of destruction, which is negative energy. Once healed, I no longer had the need for revenge.

I do know my level of hurt in relationships is at its peak. I dont know how I would be if someone hurt me deeply again in a relationship. Quite frankly, I dont trust myself to that level of hurt....

[Venus007]

I believe that revenge happens with no input from me. I think that people who do evil will reap what they sew and I will not have to lift a finger to enforce it. It is like that old quote "Gods wheels grind slow but exceedingly fine"

[kannon]

"The first written appearance of the proverb "revenge is a dish best served cold" is often wrongly credited to the novel Les liaisons dangereuses (1782); it does not, in fact, appear there in any form. It is earliest identified appearance in European literature is in the 1841 French novel Mathilde by Marie Joseph Eugène Sue: la vengeance se mange très-bien froide — there italicized as if quoting a proverbial saying — published in English translation in 1846 as revenge is very good eaten cold.[8]

The proverb suggests that revenge is more satisfying as a considered response enacted when unexpected, or long feared, inverting the more traditional revulsion toward 'cold-blooded' violence. In early literature it is used, usually, to persuade another to forestall vengeance until wisdom can reassert itself. This sense is lost in recent presentations."

This expresses my thoughts on revenge.

[apretty]

Originally Posted by Hunter Green

In a nutshell: Is revenge OK? If not, why? If so, why?

Depends on how you define 'ok.' Are you okay with seeking/succeeding at revenge at your own expense?

My dad says, and I believe this to be true, when you're after "revenge--Dig two graves."

I think this is the original quote: “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.”

[istolurboxers38]

I used to think revenge was one way to hurt a person as they hurt me. I have now realized that revenge is not the way. If someone hurts me it is just better to turn my back and walk away. It seems to hurt you more cause it comes flying back at you even harder. So my feeling on it now is to just walk away that way nothing can come back flying at you and you keep yourself safe.

[Legendryder]

When I was younger, I had anger issues. If I felt I was being wronged, in any way, real or not, I came right back at the person in a not nice way. As I got older, I learned that it didn't really make it better. Did not make me feel better. Many times, I let my mouth write checks my ass could not cash. I got my ass kicked more than once on that type of deal. I had to learn a better way to deal. So, I just started to ignore and walk away. And I will be darned, if it didn't keep me from getting my ass stomped into a mudhole. And something else.........I didn't drop to a childish level. I began to use my mind instead of my fists. Cause, honestly, I am too old to take a butt kickin' anymore.


Now, if ya throw a pea at me at the dinner table, all bets are off. I WILL throw a pea back. lol

[Vlasta]

Originally Posted by Legendryder

When I was younger, I had anger issues. If I felt I was being wronged, in any way, real or not, I came right back at the person in a not nice way. As I got older, I learned that it didn't really make it better. Did not make me feel better. Many times, I let my mouth write checks my ass could not cash. I got my ass kicked more than once on that type of deal. I had to learn a better way to deal. So, I just started to ignore and walk away. And I will be darned, if it didn't keep me from getting my ass stomped into a mudhole. And something else.........I didn't drop to a childish level. I began to use my mind instead of my fists. Cause, honestly, I am too old to take a butt kickin' anymore.


Now, if ya throw a pea at me at the dinner table, all bets are off. I WILL throw a pea back. lol

I am not sure what time you are talking about , but since we dated about 5 years ago , you was always nice person and I never see any anger issues or violence from you . I always admire your intelligence and knowledge you have , You teach me a lot and I am grateful .

You will always be special person in my life .

hugs and kisses

Vlasta

[Vlasta]

Originally Posted by Vlasta

I am not sure what time you are talking about , but since we dated about 5 years ago , you was always nice person and I never see any anger issues or violence from you . I always admire your intelligence and knowledge you have , You teach me a lot and I am grateful .

You will always be special person in my life .

hugs and kisses

Vlasta

I am sorry , I think I messed up . I was thinking I was in a different thread , I apologize .

[Legendryder]

Yeah, you did not know be back in my 20's and 30's. I was a mouthy, ill tempered shithead. rofl I aged well. Nuff said.

[Ebon]

It's pretty good I watch it every Wednesday.

[SweetJane]

Revenge.....Hmmmm. I've thought about it once or twice in my life, especially when harm came to my own. But Karma does its work. You just have to be patient and let it do what it's supposed to. They will get theirs when the time is right.

[Honey]

Originally Posted by SweetJane

Revenge.....Hmmmm. I've thought about it once or twice in my life, especially when harm came to my own. But Karma does its work. You just have to be patient and let it do what it's supposed to. They will get theirs when the time is right.

...and hope that you are there to see it when karma bites'm in the ass

[AtLast]

No, it isn't a far as I'm concerned. Let go and go on and don't allow someone else's negative actions or character flaws impact your life.

[Bad_boi]

No. Because revenge leads to more revenge and it escalates until some thing severe happens and people wind up with more than just hurt feelings.

When someone wrongs you it is okay to stand up for yourself or defend yourself if you have do but anything beyond that is unessicary violence or negativity.

[deedarino]

Wanting revenge means you are pissed, and often consumed. The only one who is really hurt by this is you. Unless you follow through. Even then you are included in the hurt. If you want to feel better, just work on feeling better.

"He that studieth revenge keepeth his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well." John Milton


Besides; I have found the best revenge is being a good person and living a good life. Ok, I am not so innocent, it is sweet.

[aishah]

the times in my life i've been hurt the most, it's been by people i cared about - like when my parents died and my family abandoned me and my sister and stole a lot of our stuff, for example. i wanted my family to understand how much they hurt me by abandoning me and not caring whether i lived or died, especially when it hurt so much since i still cared a lot about them. sometimes i'm still angry over that, even though i've worked really hard to rebuild our relationships (at least to the point that they are willing, it's hard when someone won't return letters or phone calls). when my dad was still alive, there were times that i struggled with this too - wanting him to understand how much he hurt me as a child. with a lot of time and therapy i've figured out that that's mostly a fruitless effort. the people who hurt me are not capable of understanding how or why what they did was wrong, and nothing i can do to them will ever come close to making them feel the way they made me feel. it's easier and maybe healthier to just put it behind me as much as i can and reach out to rebuild relationships to the point that i'm able. or to just detach.

oddly enough, things that were very traumatic in other ways for me - like experiencing sexual violence - have never really sparked revenge fantasies or a desire to hurt someone. my pain around more acute trauma like that tends to be focused inward rather than outward.

my partner has an issue with becoming angry and vengeful (one he's actively been dealing with and working on resolving). he's used to fighting a lot and doing it completely below the belt, even in romantic relationships, which is something i pretty much never do. i actually very rarely get angry (other than the situation with my family, and being angry at injustices, i can't think of that many times where i've been angry). i don't really tend to fight that much with friends, family members, or partners, which is something he's commented on. when it comes to a problem i would rather talk about it and figure out what is wrong and fix it than hurt someone over it. so other than a few isolated incidents i haven't had the urge for revenge that much.

i wouldn't say i'm a very utilitarian person generally speaking but that's the attitude i have towards anger and revenge. i'd much rather figure out how to deal with something constructively or try to move past it than get pissed off or vengeful about it.

[Ginger]

Revenge prolongs war. It locks you to the battlefield. If you extract revenge, you are making a kind of sneak attack, and sending the message that you still consider the other person to be a threat. In that way, it validates their ability to hurt you, and if they do in fact mean to harm you, this will please them.

Your attempt at revenge will also confirm for them, that they still occupy an important place in your life. And it will excite them, because you are presenting yourself for a counterattack.

For all these reasons, revenge prevents healing, and the person you are revenging yourself against, sits triumphantly at your table in a place you could have cleared, instead, for someone kind.

[Greco]

Revenge? Not for me. It is said that when one is seeking revenge one is digging two graves

I keep my precious time, space, and power (energy) creating what I want to experience in my life.

In my old neighborhood they say, "what goes around, comes around..."

So karma is enough.

Greco