|
10-22-2011, 12:13 PM | #1 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer, trans guy, butch Preferred Pronoun?:
Male pronouns Relationship Status:
Relationship Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,329
Thanks: 4,090
Thanked 3,907 Times in 1,032 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
Being B/F and Under 30
Hey, just making this thread for us under 30 folks to post and talk about how we relate to the dynamic vs. how the mainstream lgbtq community sees our community.
Personally, I still get a lot of mainstream lesbians and gays in particular talking as though the B/F community was strictly a result of the social climate of the early to mid 20th century, and that we pretty much don't/shouldn't exist anymore because of some misnomers on what it means to be butch or femme. There's also this mentality still around that where the community still exists, it is set on upholding the rigid understandings of gender that were present in the mid 20th century. That butch and femme just stop there as a kind of "moment in time." Butch and femme have come to mean completely different things for the mainstream community than they mean in the B/F community itself today, so I'm interested in hearing how you guys deal with a lot of those beliefs still lingering around out there, trying to dispel those beliefs people might have about your identity and making yourself visible as a twenty-something member of the BF community. |
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to EnderD_503 For This Useful Post: |
01-16-2012, 08:17 AM | #2 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme/Gentlewoman Preferred Pronoun?:
She/her Relationship Status:
Happily married 05/17/14 Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 561
Thanks: 2,056
Thanked 2,157 Times in 403 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
I think there's a lot of flack to be had with some of the postmods I know (and I say some because I mean only some!) who would rather see B-F disappear because of its apparent heteronormativity as opposed to embracing its role in diversity. The trouble with disdaining an identity and way of relating to one another (which isn't illegal, harmful or ill-advised) is that it closes the door on education and opens it to the wilderness of propaganda and (horror!) people's "humble opinions" on what they don't really know.
There is a lot of butch-butch and label-free identification where I am because it's a small community and queer/radical visibility is seen as important and necessary in a smaller area. Not being visibly queer as a single femme, I especially feel a double-edged sword in my neighbourhood. It's hard being "the straight girl... is she straight?" at the bar |
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to genghisfawn For This Useful Post: |
01-18-2012, 11:43 AM | #3 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
With a greeting and a handshake, typically Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
Single Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 150
Thanks: 469
Thanked 455 Times in 49 Posts
Rep Power: 6000593 |
Here, here. Hi!
I have noticed the prevalence of B/F is also a regional thing. In parts of the southern US, it seems more common than in major metropolitan areas. One could say that is because the south is more "traditional" and "old fashioned." *Shrugs* In DC, where I've spent a majority of my time living, B/F is a highly divided subject. There are plenty of young queers who shamelessly seek that sort of dynamic and just as many who reject it, bash it, or simply don't understand why. I am personally genderqueer and more on the male-identified end of the spectrum, so it's a little harder for me to defend the "mimicry of straight people" argument than someone who is strictly woman-identified. I DO want to "be the man." I want a pretty girl on my arm and I want to treat her like a gentleman treats his lady. There are certainly a lot of misconceptions on what butch and femme mean within the mainstream community. I have heard, "I'm not into butch, but I like you!" I have met people who I would consider butch or femme but don't identify as such and would be very offended if someone stuck a label on them. I've had people tell me I'm not butch because I'm not "big and scary" or because I'm "more like a guy than a butch lesbian." I've also had people ask me why I have decided to be "so closed minded" by only dating femmes. I dislike how "butch" is somewhat of a dirty word in certain lesbian circles when it's part of the history that paved the way for them to openly be who they are.
__________________
Speak your mind even if your voice shakes. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to AlexHunter For This Useful Post: |
01-25-2013, 02:48 AM | #4 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
princess Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her. Relationship Status:
One singular sensation! Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Topeka, KS
Posts: 1,341
Thanks: 2,082
Thanked 4,581 Times in 1,009 Posts
Rep Power: 21474850 |
Just thought this particular thread should be resurrected, there must be more of us out there under 30!
|
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Princess For This Useful Post: |
03-11-2013, 07:29 PM | #5 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Whatever you want to call us Preferred Pronoun?:
Her, she, Relationship Status:
Married Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Wherever these 18 wheels take us
Posts: 583
Thanks: 484
Thanked 1,366 Times in 441 Posts
Rep Power: 17763584 |
|
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to tara_kerrie For This Useful Post: |
08-05-2013, 05:38 PM | #6 | |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
female ones Relationship Status:
Single Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Germany
Posts: 146
Thanks: 563
Thanked 275 Times in 90 Posts
Rep Power: 4780806 |
Quote:
And not interested in a youngling (I'm 22).
__________________
“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed.” Mahatma Gandhi |
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Asari For This Useful Post: |
10-14-2013, 07:14 AM | #7 |
Junior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: US
Posts: 14
Thanks: 33
Thanked 35 Times in 11 Posts
Rep Power: 11 |
I see
This is an older threat but I still wanted to say HI to everybody. I just turned 29
|
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Venus For This Useful Post: |
04-03-2013, 01:38 AM | #8 |
Junior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Transgender, FTM, Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
He (Any male pronouns will work) Relationship Status:
Very much taken Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: For now..
Posts: 7
Thanks: 36
Thanked 20 Times in 6 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
Under 30..
I'm almost 27..
|
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to BoSoxBoi For This Useful Post: |
04-04-2013, 11:23 PM | #9 |
Junior Member
How Do You Identify?:
transmasculine, butch Preferred Pronoun?:
they Relationship Status:
Single Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 25
Thanks: 4
Thanked 74 Times in 17 Posts
Rep Power: 1055193 |
Hello other younger folks! I'm 24.
|
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to odd_boi_out For This Useful Post: |
|
|