Parker's Pad

[Parker]

So for Christmas, I got 4 of my nieces and nephews Kiva cards so they could create an account and find a person to whom they wanted to give a microloan. I thought that would be a nice gift for them so they could feel good about helping someone else to fulfill their dreams of taking care of themselves and their families.

I also went back to Wolf Haven Int'l to adopt wolves for my other 6 nieces and nephews. Wolves hold a special place in my heart and they are endangered so the kids get to know that they are helping to care for and protect an endangered species - an animal for which I care very much.

I got the Kiva cards last month and was set to get the wolf adoptions this month (I couldnt afford to do it all in one month); and I cant believe how fast Wolf Haven Int'l sent me the wolf adoption photos and bios - I went online and did all of the wolf adoptions on Tuesday night and yesterday, a large envelope with all of the wolf pics, bios, and adoption info was dropped on my porch - so fast!

Now all I have to do is write out the cards to go with the wolf stuff, then I can drop it all in the mail to my parents in PA - I asked mom if they would be cool with handing my gifts out to the kids on Christmas or Christmas Eve or whenever their tradition is now. I feel badly that I cant be there - everyone is headed to PA for the holidays and I am the only family member who wont be there - but at least my gifts will be there on time and given to them by their grandparents.

[Parker]

I was watching a movie tonight where this woman took a crack on the head and suddenly, she could no longer recognize anyone's faces - every time she would see them again or close her eyes and re-open them or look away and look back, etc, the face would change.

In fact, in one scene, she was having sex with her bf and every time she closed her eyes and opened them again, he would be a different person. lol

This made me realize that I rely more on my ears than my eyes I have noticed that when it comes to the people I see on TV and movies and even with most of the people around me, I recognize their voices most of the time before I ever recognize their faces - which seems weird.

Even in this movie, the actors would change back and forth - sometimes we would see what she saw and sometimes we would see the original actor who played the character, but their voices were dubbed so they would always be of the original actors and that was how I was able to pick out the killer (this was a thriller); because he taunted her in the street and so later, when I heard that voice again, even though the face was different, I knew it was him. Turns out, I was right.

It's just so interesting how we identify the people around us; e.g., I am horrible with names - I mean, a person can tell me their name at a gathering and literally 30 seconds later, it's gone - out of my head - but I can usually recognize a face and place it with where I know them from: this theatre gig or that friend's party, etc.

I just never really thought about how much I rely on what I hear vs. what I see - it makes me wonder if it was something I developed over time - working with actors who can look completely different in their costumes vs. their street clothes or even from one gig to the next, coupled with the fact that my memory for names sucks so bad I wish people would wear name tags all the time lol - maybe my mind developed this way of identifying people's voices to help me recognize people.

It's crazy how the mind works, isnt it?



Oh, for those interested, the movie is called Faces in the Crowd, with Milla Jovovich and Julian McMahon. I didnt really like the ending too much, but it was still a really good flick, imo. An interesting (to me, at least) side note: this is the second movie I have seen her in with a guy from Charmed. lol

[nycfem]

I'm not very good at facial recognition. There are two great books, memoirs, about this phenomenon, both excellent, that I've read:

"You don't look like anyone I know" by Heather Sellers

and

"Mistaken Identity" by Van Ryn, Cerak, Tab

[Parker]

I found a couple of small pieces of lamb in the back of the freezer from when I last made the dogs raw food -- I also saw some Tilapia filet that had been in there for me, but for a very long time -- then tonight when I was getting stew at the store, I saw a pack of chicken tender filet for $5 so I bought that, kept back 3 pieces for 3 of my meals and took the rest of the chicken, along with the lamb and fish and put it all in the oven at about 275 degrees so I could make jerky-type treats out of it all for the pack.

I was going to use my food dehydrator, but I didnt want to make full-on jerky where I marinate it, add a bunch of salt, etc., and then let it sit in there for 6-10 hours.

Anyway - that's the fish up front (plus a couple of pieces in the back on the left), the lamb is in the middle-right, and the chicken is in the back. The guy I got this idea from did chicken tender filet cuts at 280 for 2 hours, so I set my oven at 275 and set the timer for an hour so I could check on it all then.

I am really curious to see how it turns out - and I figure even if it sucks, it's still fish, chicken, and lamb; and seriously, the dogs want that meat RIGHT NOW, lol, so if it turns out as I hope or not, it will still be good little treats for them.

[Parker]

All this time, I thought there was something wrong with the VA scales because they always weigh me 10+ lbs more than my Wii Fit Plus at home ...

But this morning, I weight myself on the Wii and then I put on all my street clothes - the carpenter jeans, shirt, turtleneck, motorcycle boots, and all of the stuff I carry around on my belt of in my pockets and I weighed myself again ....

It was a 13 lb difference!

What.

At least now I know - the VA scales are the same as my Wii scale, it is just all of the crap I wear and carry around that is weighing me down! lol

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I started eating better in October and lost, of about 25-35 lbs, but then I hit a plateau and I havent lost a thing since Thanksgiving - I have in fact gained 4-5 lbs back. I guess I could chalk that up to the holidays, but it makes this whole "eating better" thing that much harder when the results arent there. It makes me want to go eat a tub of Butter Pecan Ice Cream. lol

I am still eating 1000-1500 calories less a day than I used to when I weighed and maintained 285 lbs and that is a good thing .... I miss some of the stuff I used to eat - but some of the other stuff actually sounds nasty to me now. lol

So I will keep going - but man, this is HARD!

[Parker]

Important stuff is important.

For example .....


Stop Catcalling Me

By Kendall Goodwin
~ Thought Catalog


Sometimes I get catcalled, and when I say sometimes, I mean pretty regularly. Maybe you’re reading that sentence and thinking “Poor girl, it must be soooo hard to be thought of as attractive and have men compliment you. Let me play a song for you on the world’s smallest violin.” That wouldn’t be the first time I’ve gotten that response: I’ve found that my male friends and acquaintances, even the ones I know would never catcall, are generally pretty forgiving toward men who do catcall, cavalierly waving it away as a compliment that’s simply in poor taste and tsk tsking me for being a humblebragger. But as they forgive I also forgive them, because if they truly understood what it feels like to be catcalled, they would not be so cavalier.

This lack of understanding seems to be a function of the simple reality that historically, humankind has not looked on male bodies and female bodies equally, and as a result, the way that men and women relate to their respective bodies is vastly different. I suspect it’s difficult for men to imagine a world in which their bodies have long been inextricably linked to their value as an individual, and that no matter how encouraging your parents were or how many positive female role models you had or how self-confident you feel, there is an ever-present pressure that creeps in from all sides, whispering in your ear that you are your body and your body defines you. A world where, from the time of pubescence on, you can feel the constant and palpable weight of the male gaze, and not just from your male peers but from teachers and sports coaches and the fathers of the children you baby-sit, people you’re supposed to respect and trust and look up to, and that first realization that you are being looked at in that way is the beginning of a self-consciousness that you will be unable to shake for the rest of your life. Even if they are never verbalized, the rules of bodily conduct for females become clear early on: when school administrators reprimand you for the inch of midriff that shows when you lift your hands straight in the air or youth group leaders tell you that the sight of your unintentional cleavage is what causes godly young men to fall, you learn that your body is dangerous and shameful and that it’s your responsibility to cloister it in a way that is acceptable to everyone else. You learn that your body is a topic of public debate that everyone is entitled to weigh in on, from a male classmate telling you that those jeans make your ass look huge to the male-dominated United States Congress dictating the parameters that rape must fall within to be considered legitimate. To be a woman, and to live life in a woman’s body, is to be held to a set of comically paradoxical standards that make you constantly second-guess yourself and jump through a million hoops in pursuit of an impossible perfection.

Now that a context has been established, imagine walking down the street, to the grocery store or to meet up with a friend, and hearing a car slowing down as it approaches you from behind. You’ve learned to be intuitive to the sounds that precede a catcall: a car decelerating, the sound that air makes as it passes through an open window at low speeds, and the split second of dead silence just before the whistle or whoop or “Damn, girl” or whatever other asinine sentence fragment gets hurtled at you. If you say nothing and keep your eyes on the ground, it’s over in less than a minute, at which point the car and the catcaller drive away and you continue on your way. Pretty innocuous, right?

To begin to understand why this scenario is the opposite of innocuous, one must understand the circumstances surrounding most instances of catcalling. A catcall is not like sexual harassment, an unwelcome encounter that happens in the privacy of an office between a male superior and female subordinate. Catcalls, by and large, come from strangers, and happen in public places that not only lend anonymity to the caller but also make it easy to keep the interaction fleeting. A catcall is something that always seems to happen in passing, whether it be men sticking their heads out of moving cars like dogs to shout at a woman, men calling at a woman as she walks past, or a man calling at a woman as he walks past. If you’re being sexually harassed at your job, you know exactly who the harassment is coming from, and you have the option to ask them to stop and even report them if they don’t, with a decent chance that your complaint will be taken seriously. Because of the inherently transient nature of catcalls, you are not given that same opportunity to air your grievances and draw the caller’s attention to the error of their ways. By the time you’re able to say, “Excuse me, sir, but the way that you’re objectifying me is offensive,” they’re already gone. And even if you could, sometimes you just don’t have it in you to instigate a losing battle when all you wanted was to walk to the grocery store in peace. If you acknowledge your catcaller by speaking to them or engaging them in any way, you’re egging them on and inviting them to continue talking to you and offending you. If you acknowledge them with eye contact, even if no words accompany it, it can be seen as condoning and encouraging. Even for the most outspoken women, catcalls engender a forced passivity that leaves them with no effective means of counteraction except to fix their eyes on the ground and ignore the caller until they’re left alone, which counteracts nothing and leaves women feeling frustrated and silenced. It’s a lose-lose no matter which way you slice it.

When a woman realizes that there is nothing she can do after the fact to correct this wrong done to her, she, as women have been socialized to do, starts analyzing herself and tries to figure out what it is that she’s doing that attracts this unwanted attention, so that she can alter her appearance or her behavior and prevent it from continuing to happen. Maybe if I stop wearing dresses? she will ask herself. Or if I move out of the city? Or maybe if I shave my head, I’ll stop being catcalled? This is futile, of course, because catcalls happen regardless of the lengths women go to in order to avoid them and regardless of circumstantial details. I’ve been catcalled as a blonde and as a brunette, with long hair and short hair, in the city and in the country, while wearing dresses and while wearing baggy pants, when I was fifteen pounds heavier and fifteen pounds lighter than I am now, made-up and makeup-less, in the presence of friends (both male and female) and by myself, in the daytime and at night, and while running on the side of the road, my face beet-red and my entire body covered in sweat. This is no humblebrag; this is an embarrassing and maddening reality for women. None of these variables provides immunity from catcalls, and yet, socially, the onus is on women to do whatever is necessary to avoid being catcalled instead of on men to stop catcalling. Again, it’s a lose-lose.

Furthermore, it’s deeply upsetting that women are made to feel guilty or ungrateful for not accepting catcalls as compliments. I can’t speak for all women everywhere, and I would never condescend to my sex by claiming to know the experiences of women whose reality is foreign to me, but based on my own experience and the experiences of my female friends, family, co-workers and acquaintances, I think I can safely assert that most women don’t feel like they’re being complimented when they’re catcalled. It’s not the sort of thing that you excitedly recall to your girlfriends, or call your mom about, or secretly hope happens again because it made you feel beautiful. It’s more akin to what I imagine animals at the zoo feel like when humans poke their fat fingers against the glass or make crude animal sounds to try to get their attention and encourage them to do something interesting. There is a reason it’s referred to as a catcall and not a humancall: when you’re catcalled, there’s no consideration of your distinct personhood or even of your humanity because you’re being appraised as an object, a body without a person inside of it.

When you want to compliment someone, you approach them as an individual because the point is to make them feel good about being the individual that they are, right? If this is true, then the one-size-fits-all catcall really has nothing to do with being complimentary, and seems to be more about asserting power. When you’re catcalled, you’re caught in a moment of vulnerability: one minute you’re just walking down the street and in complete control of your own life, and the next you’re verbally ambushed by a stranger who forcefully inserts themselves into your life to declare their opinion of your body as if it were definitive, and that feeling of control is gone as quickly as the catcaller. Women are closer than they’ve ever been to living as equals with men in every sphere of life, but when it comes to our bodies, it is still shockingly easy for men to make us feel subjugated, to “put us in our place.” When women are treated as if their bodies don’t serve a functional purpose and are simply on display for the enjoyment and valuation of male eyes, it doesn’t matter how much money you make or what advanced degree you’ve earned or how great a sense of self-worth you hold: you feel powerless. Powerless to prevent it, powerless to counteract it, powerless to transcend your own physiology.

I don’t believe that the majority of men who catcall intend to make women feel this way, but because catcalls have been part of our social landscape for, like, ever, the inheritance of values that condone catcalling and view them as harmless and complimentary continues. We as a culture are in need of a serious re-education on the subject of holistic gender equality and the gravity of catcalling, but that re-education may be a long time coming so here is the Cliff Notes version: Catcalls are not compliments. Catcalls are offensive, and, frankly, obnoxious. Men, women do not appreciate or enjoy being catcalled, and catcalling will do nothing to endear you to the woman you fancy. If your intent is to compliment, there are plenty of ways to do so that aren’t offensive and don’t incorporate a whoop or a whistle… be creative. And most importantly, when in doubt, keep it to yourself.

[Parker]

My Zekie (80 lb Boxer/Pit) is so precious ..... I tried to take his pic so I could share what he did and he refused to look at me, just kept doing the avoidance submission thing that he does. lol

But picture this big man making noises like Chewbacca and wagging his tail like mad - he was playing with Sally (20 lb FMD) and he opened his mouth and put her mouth into his - he could have almost fit her whole head in there lol. He did this twice in the office this morning and it was the cutest thing - as if he was telling her to be quiet. lol

Zeke is in the middle there, surrounded by the rest of the pack: Jack (L) and Sally (R) and little old man, Max even made an appearance (top) - they all love their Zeke.

[Parker]

I just made my own laundry soap using a recipe that is supposed to provide enough soap for a year's worth of laundry for a family of 4:

3 Bars of Fels Naptha laundry soap ($.97 ea at Wal-Mart)
1 Box of Borax (76 oz for $3.38 at WM)
1 Box of Washing Soda (55 oz for $3.24 at WM)
1-2 Bottles of Purex Fabric Softener Crystals (I used 2 - 28 oz - for $4.76 at WM)
2 Cups of Baking Soda (I am not seeing this on my rec't, so apparently I got this for free - oops - but the big 4 lb box I got from the laundry section of WM - was something like $3.50 I think)

Note #1: I left off the Oxy-Clean that the recipe called for, which was 2 tubs (3 lbs each) because they were something like $8 each and so many people in the comments of this blog said they left the Oxy off, so I skipped it. I figured I could always add it later if I so choose (again, according to the comments in this blog, the dollar store has the tubs for $4 ea, cutting the cost of it in half). Leaving out that 6 lbs of ingredients will undoubtedly shorten how long this will last; but for just me, it should still last a while.

Note #2: I didnt realize the Purex was fabric softener - the bottles just say "laundry enhancer" - so I probably could have gotten something else (like Durex) cheaper. Now I know & will check other products if/when I make this again. FYI, the cost of the Purex also depends on the fragrance you get - I wanted the lavender, but it was twice as much as this tropical splash.

Note #3: Back to the comments, several people left off the Purex and Baking Soda as well and just used the Fels Naptha, Washing Soap, and Borax in an effort to keep their laundry as chemical free as possible. I chose to add the Purex because (a) I dont like how the Fels Naptha smells and (b) I like the idea of adding the fabric softener.

-----

Enough with the notes, let's move on!

The Fels Naptha needs to be grated. I have a small (small as in hand-held small) food processor and I used that - it took a while because I could only run 1/4 of a bar at a time in it and I added Borax to it so the soap wouldnt get all sticky and clumpy on the blades. But as long as it took, it wasnt nearly as long as it would have been if grating by hand!

After the Fels Naptha was grated up nice and pretty much a powder, I poured it into a clean trash bag with the rest of the box of Borax, the box of Washing Soap, the 2 bottles of Purex, and the 2 cups of Backing Soda.

I rolled the bag around and shook it like shake-n-bake until all the ingredients were thoroughly mixed together and then I poured it into these 2 square plastic jars (1 gal ea for $2.97 ea at WM) - and I will re-use the garbage bag in my laundry room.

The idea is to use 2 TBSP per load - some of the people mentioned that they used 1/4 cup (4 TBSP) per load - some people said they could only use it in warm water - others said they had no problems with it dissolving in cold water - and people with high efficiency front loading machines said this worked just fine in those -- so ymmv. I'll probably start off with 2-3 TBSP and my usual cold water and see how that works and then change things up if necessary.

What you see pictured here is the final product.





I decided to try this instead of the homemade liquid soap because this was one huge batch that would last a long time, while the liquid soap is easy, yes, but made a gallon at a time. Here's the recipe for that:

3 Tablespoons Borax
3 Tablespoons Washing Soda
2 Tablespoons Dawn Dish soap

Put these ingredients in a one gallon jug. Pour 4 cups boiling water into the jug. Swirl until ingredients are dissolved in the liquid. Let liquid cool. Then fill almost to the top with cold water. The bubbles will overflow out of the bottle.
I love this because you can pick an awesome scent with the Dawn dish soap. This dish soap works the best because it gets grease out.

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Btw, this is all from the "Homemade Solution" section of the One Good Thing by Jillee blog. In it, you can also find other stuff like how to make your own fabric softener crystals, mouthwash, antihistamine, moisturizer, hand sanitizer, etc.

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eta: if you are prone to allergies - or even if you are not and just want to be all safe as houses - I would recommend wearing a mask while grating and mixing all of this powder. Most, if not all of it says harmful if swallowed, if prolonged skin contact, if in eyes, etc and I inadvertantly breathed some of it in while I was mixing and even after using my neti pot, I have one helluva headache from it. So, yeah - masks. lol

[Parker]

Originally Posted by Parker

I am totally digging on this laundry soap that I made ... I am having no problem with it dissolving in cold water, my clothes are clean and SUPER soft, and they smell really nice -- nice as in, I-hung-them-on-the-line-outside-in-the-sun-on-a-warm-spring-day nice. lol

[Parker]

As most of the people in my irl world know, I wanted to move back to my home state of IL at the end of May 2013 when my lease was up. I am a disabled vet collecting VA benefits and to supplement that, I decided to *finally* do what everyone kept telling me to do for a few years - file for Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI).

So in August 2011, I filed and of course, was promptly denied just like the other, what 75% of the people who apply. Then I appealed, which basically just means they look at it again and say no, again. lol

Then it went to a judge (ALJ hearing) -- this is where I got kinda screwed because most ALJs' approval rates are around 55%, but the judge I got is around 25% ... so of course, he denied me again; and let me tell you, his upteen page decision just basically said I was faking, which sucked all the air out of my balloon man.

He not only said he wasnt going to take the VA's decision into consideration (which he cannot do), he said he thought they came to the wrong conclusion and should not have approved me for disability or labeled me as unemployable.

Ouch.

Anyway, because he did that and also didnt want to hear what my doctor at the VA said, my lawyers think we have good grounds for appeal and that's where I am at now - it can take 6-18 months (the average is just under a year) for them to come to a decision: overturn the judge's decision and grant me SSDI, remand me back to the judge so he can decide again, deny me once and for all (only other thing to do at that point is to file in Federal court), or dismiss my claim, which would mean I was done.

My hope, of course, was that I was going to get a favorable decision from the judge so that I could use part of the back pay for SSDI to fund my move back to IL.

I picked IL because (a) I had to pick someplace lol and when I visited my sister October 2011, I remembered how much I liked living in the Midwest, (b) I am sincerely tired of the PNW - lovely place, but the traffic and people - ugh, (c) my sister is there, it's a small town, etc etc etc, and (d) the cost of living (especially housing) is significantly lower than here.

BUT, unfortunately, right before Thanksgiving, I got the letter from the judge that said "ur faking dont come back haha" - I am paraphrasing, of course.

I thought that since my case is in appeals and could be there for over another year that I had to put my move off - because right after that denial letter, I decided fuck the SSA, i will save whatever morsels of cash i can and move my damn self - I can sleep in my truck for the 3 day trip, leave most of my stuff behind, and sleep in my truck when in IL as I look at a few places to live.

Finally, I asked the lawyers if I could move or if I should stay while this thing plays out .... not only did they say I could move, they said if the appeals council remands my case back to the ALJ, the hearing can be in IL, which will be better because I wont be in front of that craptastic judge who shot my ass out of the water the first time; plus, the SSA will pay for my lawyers to fly out to IL for the hearing so they can continue handling my case and I dont have to get new lawyers.

So my move is BACK ON!

I am thinking of staying here a few months after my lease is up (like maybe until the end of July or August) so I can save a little extra money for a hotel for a few days while looking for a place to live in IL -- but I may just show up on my sister's doorstep, talking about, SURPRISE, where's my bed? lol who knows.

I also have to buy a trailer for my stuff (no furniture, bed, etc, just totes, etc of "stuff") because (a) I cannot afford a truck with a carrier for my SUV and (b) UHaul wont rent trailers to Ford Explorers - something about being sued for liability when there were rollovers or something.

So I am spending as little money as possible and saving as much as I can so I can (a) get a trailer, (b) pay for 2100 miles of gas, (c) pay for a few days worth of food, (d) pay for move-in costs, and possible (e) pay for a hotel while I look at places to rent.

I am also considering buying a home since I have a VA home loan certificate, but that is a lot further down the line and I really like renting - sure, it isnt my home and I have to play by someone else's rules, but I dont have to pay for things that break down, etc.


Of course, I would win the Mega Millions tomorrow night and this will all become moot ...

[Parker]

Yesterday morning weigh-in = 236 lbs ... that put me at exactly 101 lbs over my "before age 25" weight (high school/college/Navy) ... I was 135 lbs up until about age 25-26 - which, I agree, was entirely too skinny for me, but I kinda miss being a 29 waist. lol

I hope I can keep this up and get down to 200 lbs ... or even 175 lbs ... man, 175 lbs would be awesome!

This kinda makes me want to do that walking for 5-10 mins/day, 3x/wk thing I was supposed to be doing. lol

[Parker]

I was in my storage room, which is the garage that was converted into an insulated room with the washer, dryer, and electric water heater - the previous tenants had the cable hooked up in there and used it as an office, so my landlady still calls it that and gets confused when I call it storage and this second bedroom the office - after 4 years, you'd think she'd be used to it, but no. lol

Anyway, I digress - I was in the storage room emptying out these 3 plastic 3-drawer units I am giving away and I started to panic because I looked up and saw my gardening tools, which made me think of all of the lawn care stuff, kerosene, propane, kerosene heater, a/c units, etc etc etc out in the shed that I have to have taken down before I leave because it is damaged and I dont want to leave it for the next tenant.

I say started to panic because I have lived here for a long while (for me) and originally, I planned to never leave - so I have a lot of "stuff" tucked here and there and I am leaving in 3 months!

I know I can do it - I mean, it is 3 months and I dont have a job, so I can literally sit here all day everyday cleaning, packing, taking things to Goodwill, etc.

But for a moment there, I just felt so overwhelmed, like it wasnt going to get done and I was making a mistake ..... I ended up so wired, I stayed up a few hours longer than I meant to and then crashed - and hard.

Tonight, I got up and went through all of my candles, candle holders, nick knacks, knives, etc, packing what I wanted to keep, tossing what was no good, and putting the stuff for Goodwill into a box.

I am taking a quick break and then I am going to do the same with all of the stuff hanging on my walls - I have a couple of paintings I did a long long time ago that will probably go to Goodwill (unless I just remove the frame backings off of the canvases and roll them up) because I have extra pictures here that I didnt have before and I dont want to take up too many totes for hanged pics, portraits, and paintings.

Once I do that, I will feel better -- and then once it gets closer to my move and I give away the lawn mower and take down the shed, I will feel even better.

Of course, first things first - I have 2 trailers I am looking at getting: one is a 5'x8' fully enclosed cargo trailer that is made to look like a little house ... might be a little silly looking driving down the road, but it is fairly new and in great shape. The other is a mini travel trailer that has been gutted and used as an enclosed cargo trailer that, most recently, hauled a Harley across the country. It is a little worse for the wear, needs to be scrubbed down, and possibly repainted, but as long as the inside isnt covered in mold, moss, &/or mildew, it wouldnt be a bad choice.

I am hoping to purchase one of these by the weekend so that will be one less MAJOR thing to worry about because I will know how big of a trailer I will have and can better plan what I can and cannot take with me.

I have done this many many many (to the tune of over 15 times in the last 25 years) times, so I know it will all get done, one way or the other ... and to be honest, I feel like making the decision and moving this quickly is a good thing - I have less time to think, question myself freak out, and a lot less time to lollygag about packing!

Speaking of lollygagging, I am hungry and thinking I should make myself a couple of eggs before tackling all of the stuff on the walls.

[Parker]

While I was going through the stuff in my "what's hanging on my wall" tote that never made it to my walls, I found an autographed headshot of some singer dude named Lucas Prata.

I was going to say, I dont know why I kept it - I'm not an autograph keeping kind of gal, but honestly, I think I kept it because it is a nice memento of a fun time of my life.

I was living in Tulsa, OK so this must have been circa 2001-02 and I was a part of this radio station's contest to find a new producer. I thought that would be a cool job and a stepping stone to a possible career so I entered and ended up being 1 of 3 finalists.

It was like a radio reality show where we competed in different things and gained points with each one that we won.

One of the things we had to do was find this dude, Lucas Prata, who was on tour and in Tulsa for an upcoming concert. We were supposed to use whatever means necessary to find and contact him at his hotel and I knew a guy who knew a guy who knew .... you get the idea. Anyway, I found the dude within a few hours, shocking the hell out of everyone.

Then at the event the station was having for him, he was signing headshots and he asked me if I wanted one - he's a performer, what was I going to do say, "um, no, I dont even know who the hell you are" lol, I can be blunt and forthright, but that would just be rude!

So he breaks out his headshot and signs it - this was before my name change btw:

To Deborah,

I guess I could never hide from you if I tried. Thanks so much for your support.

Love,
Lucas Prata

Oh yeah, I lost the contest, so I did not go into radio and instead moved back to IL to get my BS in Theatre Management at ISU. lol

[Parker]

My big boy, Zeke (that's not him pictured, just something I saw on FB that made me want to post about my furbabies) LOVES broccoli!

Jack wants it when he sees me giving it to Zeke but I swear, he doesnt even close his mouth around it when I give it to him, he just dips his head down and lets it fall onto the floor. lol

Sally will eat it, but only because she sees the other dogs' interest in it and she doesnt want them to have it ... she is a sweetie to me, but she is kind of a bitch to the boys - but then again, Harley was too. lol

I read something once about how female dogs never quite fit into the hierarchy of a pack the way that boys do (dominant vs. submissive) because everything and every place is *theirs*. After having had both boys and girls living together, I can kinda see that. lol

-----

Also, I went to Petsmart the other day to use a gift card my parents gave me for Christmas to buy a tie-out to use on my trip and also to replace a leash I lost so I would be back up to 3 leashes. It worked out well - I only had to pay like $2 and change for the two items.

Then today as I was gathering up all of the various backpacks and duffle bags I have around the house, I found a backpack I hadnt used since Salty Dog Rescue's last adoption event in mid-October, when I brought Sally with me; and wouldnt you know it, I found the 3rd leash that I thought I lost!

So I took the other leash back to Petsmart and exchanged it for the same kind of no-slip, "escape-proof" collar that the Taiwan twins have for Zeke so they would all have that same "escape-proof" collar for when I take them out on the road. I only had to shell out $1 and change for that - so thanks to mom and dad, I got a collar and a tie-out for less than $4.

[Parker]

Just got back from my eye exam at the VA - my eyes are all dilated (they dilate diabetics' eyes to check our retinas for damage due to our diabetes - mine show no damage, so I'm not going blind, which is pretty awesome). lol I cant read this post, I hope it makes sense! I see black letters on a white screen, but there is like a halo effect and it is all blurry!

I can see large things and far away things, but I couldnt text or read the price on the clip-on sunglasses at the canteen when I was ordering glasses - which are slightly different from the silver frames I have now - they are gold-ish and a little feminine, but not flowery or anything, they just had some sort of swirly lines or leaves or something on the frame - and they are lighter than these silver ones, which I also got at the VA 2 yrs ago.

So 3 weeks from now, I should receive my bifocals in the mail. I have needed bifocals for a long time now, I just didnt realize that taking off my glasses to read stuff meant I should have bifocals. lol

It was really irritating when I would watch TV while doing something else like writing out cards or sewing something or whatever - I either had to have my glasses off to do the close-up work and not see the TV clearly and just listen or I had to have my glasses on to see the TV which would make the close-up work blurry ... I usually did the former.

Anyway, I got lined bifocals because she said no-line are a bit to get used to, especially if you spend a lot of time on a computer. Something about having to look at just the right spot because there is no line ... I dont know, I stopped listening because I was still trying to deal with that fact that I need bifocals. lol

But the best part of my day was the clip-on sunglasses. Anyone who wears those knows they cost anywhere from $15-20 depending on where you get them (they are $20 at the local store here and $15 at Wal-Mart, I think) and they were only $5.50 at the VA's canteen (little retail store)! So I got 2 of them because I am a dropper and a forgetter and I usually need 2 of things like that because the first one will inevitably end up lost or broken.

[Parker]

I bought a trailer for my move last week. I cant rent one from UHaul because they wont rent trailers to Ford Explorers (a fact I didnt know when I sold my old Ranger and bought the newer Explorer), so I decided to buy one and have been combing through Craigslist ads for months.

I really wanted an enclosed trailer because (a) it would hold a bit more than an open trailer, (b) then I wouldnt have to worry about strapping down a tarp over my stuff, and (c) I could lock the trailer with my stuff in it; but I didnt think I'd be able to find an enclosed trailer for the same cost as a regular trailer with short or no sides and not enclosed at all.

Then I found this couple up north of me selling this cargo trailer that was built to look like a little house, complete with chimney. lol

I balked at first because I thought I would need full size tires to haul my stuff 2100 miles and this one had either 8" or 12" tires (couldnt tell from the pics), but it was only $400 and it was enclosed, so I drove up to see it last week and decided to get it.

It's a little smaller than I would have liked - the ad said 5'x8' but I think they meant the outside because the inside dimensions are 3'8" W x 7'6" L x 3'9" tall, but a little extra space up top in the middle where the "roof" peaks.

This meant I couldnt take *any* furniture, not even my bed or my recliner, but to be honest, most of the rest of the non-enclosed trailers I was looking at were not big enough for my bed and chair either, so I was prepared for that.

So because of its size and weight restrictions, I have been going through all of the major amounts of "stuff" I have collected over the past 7 years and I am whittling down the most important 25% of my stuff that is going to come with me while dealing with selling, giving away, and throwing away the other 75% over the next 3 months.

This triage process is hard for me because some of the stuff that I probably wont be able to take with me is stuff (candle holders nick knacks, etc) that I have had for years -- on the one hand, some of these things are old and could do to be replaced but on the other hand, some of these things are old and cannot BE replaced - I am talking things I got 10-15 years ago in other states and in stores that do not even exist anymore.

But it is also a little cathartic to take a box or bag of stuff to Goodwill and say goodbye to that part of my life ... I will be starting over fresh in IL.

Anyway, pics of the trailer are below (the folding chair in the pics are for a size reference) -- if you happen to live near the I-90 in WA, ID, MT, WY, SD, or MN, or if you live in IA (maybe Des Moines, but most likely Waterloo - duh!) or IL and it's the last week of May and you see a white Ford Explorer carrying a butch dyke and 3 dogs while hauling a little red house behind it, wave because that's me!



(a "shingle" is missing and I really want to replace it because it bugs my OCD seeing that little blank space lol)



(the back door doubles as a ramp)

[Gemme]

That is very cute and definitely a conversation piece, Parker! Besides, you can always sell it yourself once you've settled nicely in IL.

If you can't find a matching shingle, spray paint the spot. That would bug me too, so I get it.

[Parker]

Ugh ... the woman from the rescue - the one who shorted me when she reimbursed me and then got mad that I wanted the $7+ she shorted me (but never gave it to me even though she said she would) was a complete bitch to me when I dropped Max off this morning at the adoption event (from which I am not picking him up - that was me giving him back to them for good).

I walk in there with Max in one arm, clinging to my neck like a baby, while also holding his bag of stuff in that hand (I even provided them with enough dehydrated food to last Max through the end of the month) and I had Sally on a leash in my other hand.

Amy just looks at me and walks away - she wouldnt help me or talk to me - didnt even thank me for the container of food. In short, she acted like a damn child.

It's just so awesome when someone screws me over and treats me like crap and then gets mad at me like it was my fault they are such a bitch.

But it's done now - I blocked her on FB the instant I got home and now that they have Maxie back, I dont ever have to deal with her or that rescue ever again.

Like I said before, I feel really guilty doing it this way, but honestly, unless Max is at her house and she is having to take care of him, she would never find him a home and he was just way too stressed out living here with Sally plus the other 2 and the trip back to IL probably would have sent him right over the edge, poor baby.

I'll just morn the loss of the little old man who was with me for over 2 years, cry a bit, and wish him the best in life because he really deserves to be in a home that is right for him and this just wasnt it.

Bye Maxie ...

[Parker]

Aside from getting something to sleep on in the SUV, I am also currently shopping for portable DVD players (9") to use while I am unwinding from my drive and about to sleep while on my trip - and also during downtime when I get to IL, while staying in my truck before I find a place to stay.

So far, I am leaning toward a refurbished Phillips that I found at Wal-Mart for just over $80 after taxes. There was a cheaper one with a brand name I didnt recognize, but it didnt include a car charger and, obviously, I will need a car charger. lol

I had originally put that and a mattress topper to sleep on into my move budget, so that's where that's coming from - but I also have other "trip" stuff like an electric travel blanket, a car MP3 player, a trailer jack, a box for my TV, batteries, couple of duffle bags, trailer lights, etc - stuff that wasnt budgeted for but that I thought about later as I thought about what I would need while traveling - so I am going to get 1-2 of those items each week until I leave.

I was all set to get a 3.5" Beautyrest mattress topper tonight when the friend of mine who is coming to pick up food, furniture, etc offered to get me a Coleman inflatable mattress built to be in the back of an SUV and an air pump that plugs into the lighter socket. I need to call Coleman first to see if it will carry my weight plus that of my dogs for several nights sleep without losing air ... every ad for it says, "features Coleman's Airtight System, guaranteed not to leak" but you know, when you have 400# of person and dogs on it every night for at least 3 nights of travel and then however many nights it takes me to find a place to live, you never know!

Either way, it was very sweet of her to make the offer.

[Parker]

So, way back in 2001, I started working security for a construction company outside of Tulsa, OK. Matrix Services, Inc built these gigantic metal oil storage drums in Cushing, about an hour outside of Tulsa and right after 9-11, they started getting threats, suspicious people hanging around, cars driving by, etc so they erected a fence, build an 8' x 8' shack at the gate, which was about 100 yards away from the site and hired me to be the gatekeeper. lol

Along with my own generator and port-a-potty, they also gave me my own hardhat for when I had to go to the site (complete with a little piece added to cover my neck and ears when it got gold) and I got this jacket - a lined Carhartt jacket with the Matrix logo on the front.

This was back when I was about 200 lbs and once I gained too much weight to wear it, it went to the back of the closet to live - I didnt want to sell it, I wanted to fit into it again some day ....


And that day is here

Actually, that day came and went weeks ago, once I hit and stayed around the 340 mark, but I wanted to clean it before wearing it, just in case a critter with 6-8 legs decided to make it their home. lol

but this pic is from tonight - I dont know what size it is, but I am guessing it is an XL ... and while it is a bit snug up front (thanks to my big belly and huge ta-tas), it zips up with no problems.

I was gonna take a pic of my hard hat too, but (a) who cares about a hard hat, really and (b) it is packed up along with my old Navy flight deck helmet and other stuff in one of my totes.