03-11-2014, 08:43 PM | #1 |
Mentally Delicious
How Do You Identify?:
Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?:
Mme. Relationship Status:
Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 10,446
Thanks: 5,995
Thanked 42,843 Times in 7,833 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861 |
The Positive Life
I was thinking about a few people I know today who are very positive and really work hard to keep negative emotions checked and appreciate all of the wonderful things they have in life.
What are some things you do to keep the negative aspects of life in check? What are some things you do to stay positive? Share your thoughts!
__________________
. . . |
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to Medusa For This Useful Post: |
03-11-2014, 09:15 PM | #2 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme lesbian Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: East coast
Posts: 2,416
Thanks: 5,829
Thanked 12,309 Times in 2,056 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
I repeat some positive phrase to myself, nothing very fancy, like "Everything's great," when I feel anxiety and negative thoughts gathering. I do it when I'm walking, or trying to fall asleep. Sometimes I count off on my fingers as I repeat the phrase silently to myself.
If I'm walking into a meeting or gathering and have a negative, persistent thought, I repeat a phrase to myself that reflects the opposite of that negative thought. I guess what I do is bury repeating negative thoughts with repeating positive thoughts. It helps.
__________________
Reach out. |
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Ginger For This Useful Post: |
03-11-2014, 09:19 PM | #3 |
Family Man
How Do You Identify?:
TG Male Preferred Pronoun?:
Masculine ones Relationship Status:
She just gets me Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: .....
Posts: 2,828
Thanks: 2,997
Thanked 12,786 Times in 2,431 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
for me I think of all the good I have in this life a wonderful wife great kid and 4 sweet fubabies.. we both have jobs and family .. so I feel if you share good you get good.. you never know what the power of positive will bring or who you may effect..
to keep negative away I think of where I have come from things I have over come and all that I have I focus on the love from desd from goose from phoebe gracie jules and piper that I have a great relationship with my family and I have the family here try to leave the world better then you found it if even in a small way
__________________
This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name! Give yourself over to absolute pleasure. Swim the warm waters of sins of the flesh - erotic nightmares beyond any measure, and sensual daydreams to treasure forever. Can't you just see it? Don't dream it, be it. |
The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to Bard For This Useful Post: |
03-11-2014, 09:28 PM | #4 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She/her Relationship Status:
That's Need to Know Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Aberdeen, WA
Posts: 4,478
Thanks: 12,464
Thanked 13,995 Times in 3,685 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
This is something I have spent a lot of time working on. I deal with anxiety, and a lot of life challenges that won't be going away. It took me years to get to a place where I believe I am a mostly positive person, and there are still days I slip... but I work hard... some of the things I do that help are.
Take time for me, a bath, a walk, or even a phone call. Do something to make someone else smile. Rent a movie for the kids, buy a flower for my mother, make a meal I know someone else will enjoy. Daily affirmations and recognition (this is one I am just starting up again) its important to give myself credit, and pep talks dont hurt either.
__________________
--Jenn |
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to JustLovelyJenn For This Useful Post: |
03-11-2014, 09:31 PM | #5 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?:
My name always works Relationship Status:
Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Little Rock
Posts: 1,827
Thanks: 2,021
Thanked 7,270 Times in 1,422 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
My dad, no stranger to hardships, always said that when you had a problem, there were two choices. If you could take action, you took it. If you couldn't act, you changed your attitude. Often, changing your attitude revealed some unthought-of action to take. He didn't cotton to whiners and moaners, including me.
When I'm having a "bad" day, I remember that day I wrote about here; standing in the kitchen of a battered women's shelter in downtown Cleveland, holding a damn bologna sandwich over my head like Scarlett in the garden, vowing that I would be fucking thankful for everything that came to me after that, good and bad. Sometimes it takes time, but I succeed more than not. At that moment, I did not have a home. I had a job, but it was supposed to be temporary. I barely had clothes. I didn't have a degree. All these blessings and many more have come around since. When the thoughts intrude, I've been taking them to the gym or the pool and leaving them in my sweat. That's another blessing, that while I'm well padded, everything works. Lots of folks, including several on this board, aren't as lucky. It's not that I'm happy-happy all the time, but staying in that negativity isn't an option for me.
__________________
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck
|
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to Gráinne For This Useful Post: |
03-12-2014, 01:35 AM | #6 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Transguy Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Central West Coast of Florida
Posts: 5,204
Thanks: 34,866
Thanked 17,799 Times in 3,939 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
Staying present, in the now, and recognizing that the past is done and gone, helps to keep me positive.
Remaining grateful always for what I have and for who I am, helps to keep me positive. Remembering that I always have a choice as to how I feel and what I think and do about things that affect my life, definitely helps to keep me positive. I also try to maintain a healthy sense of humor which helps in stressful situations. When all else fails, sometimes a nap is what is needed.
__________________
“You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”
|
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to Jesse For This Useful Post: |
03-12-2014, 01:49 AM | #7 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
woman Join Date: May 2011
Location: Downtown
Posts: 327
Thanks: 1,657
Thanked 586 Times in 127 Posts
Rep Power: 5354545 |
saying to myself or someone else who and what I am grateful for.
letting myself feel the anger or fear, not trying to stop it. feel it, take action, or let it go (which is another way to take action if it is not serving me). remind myself I will be well no matter what (however it turns out). if I find myself always feeling negative around certain people, I stop hanging around them, or keep my distance emotionally from them. take a walk. wow, I live in a beautiful area. reach out to someone who is delightful. did I mention how beautiful it is where I live? |
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Violette For This Useful Post: |
03-12-2014, 08:27 PM | #8 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Preferred Pronoun?:
bitch, but she will do Relationship Status:
Spoiled beyond rotten! Join Date: May 2012
Location: lower alabama
Posts: 808
Thanks: 866
Thanked 3,788 Times in 773 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849 |
Even though I may come across as grumpy on this site.....it's truly all in fun.
I have two advantages in my bag of tricks that help me stay really positive most of the time. The first, I'm a recovering addict. I've been clean for well, years, since I was nineteen. Working a program, it has taught me that holding onto negative is a complete and total waste of time, energy and brain space. In the early years while I was massively struggling to come to terms with my addiction, I would get so frustrated and mad at everything and everybody. My poor sponser went out and bought me a big ole garden rock. She gave it to me and told me to carry the bitch around with me 24/7. I did. For two days. It was a tad hard trying to tote this thing around and get horses from point a to point b as well as train them. So the second day I went up to her whining and bitching and complaining. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO upset with it, myself, her, the weather, the price of potatoes.....everything. She listened to me, giggling the whole time, and when I finally wound myself down, and she stopped laughing, she said.................well drop the damn thing. I realized that it was actually that freaking easy to drop the crap and negativity. Just don't let it occupy time and space in my brain. It was and still is the funniest lesson I've learned. Well, one of the funniest. The second advantage I have is that I was run over by a car. Like my head got run over by the tire of a car and it popped like a grape. Wasn't supposed to make it. I was in a coma for close to 6 months. Every organ failed at least once, some twice. When I finally came too I had to relearn everything. I mean EVERYTHING. How to blink, eat, poop, talk, move blah blah blah. So when things get hard and I start feeling sorry for my poor pookie self, all I can think is well at least I'm upright and breathing. So in conclusion......lol, When something bad comes up in my life, I have to decide whether I'm gonna drag around a freaking rock or not and I also have to ask myself if it's gonna kill me. Usually it's not so hey, I'm all good. Sorry, that was a bit long.
__________________
If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough" Albert Einstein Yes, I'm aware I can't spell, and no, I don't care quite enough to spell check. Sorry!!!
|
The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to femmsational For This Useful Post: |
03-13-2014, 10:49 AM | #9 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She Her Relationship Status:
Living Life and Loving It !!! Join Date: May 2010
Location: The Desert Southwest
Posts: 443
Thanks: 251
Thanked 1,143 Times in 318 Posts
Rep Power: 10509312 |
My Positive Life
What are some things I do to keep the negative aspects of life in check?
I have always tried to be a positive person … I try to see the good in everyone and have trusted that everyone was good … I found that more times than not that I got kicked in the teeth … It has taken a conscience effort on my part (this is a minute by minute effort ) to recognize the Negative and put in check… Stop the thought process and replace it with Positive and good thoughts and intentions… the more I do it the easier it has become. Also I have learned to take things that I thought were bad and awful in my life and extract the good things that I took away from them instead of the negative … And in doing so I find room in my heart for being thankful that whatever it was or whoever it was … there was reason for loving them and reason that it came to an end … better to see the good and remember that with a smile then to live with the heaviness of hate and anger … I have also learned to recognize red flags and let go of negative people and things in my life before given the chance to hurt me . What are some things I do to stay positive? It took me many many years to figure out that what you put out there you get back… I am now a more positive person I’m grateful every day for the things in my life no matter how little they seem to be … I keep a journal and at the end of the night before I lay my head down … I list 5 things I am grateful for … sometimes the list is the same as the day before … and sometimes very different .. I also have changed the things I put in to my body .. I try very very hard to put only natural things in to my body .. And I have to tell you this is a struggle just getting in to your car you pass a dozen fast-food restaurants … Convenient prepackaged foods are not so good for us … I take the time to Prepare what nourishes me *S*
__________________
“A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.” ― Marilyn Monroe |
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to feminality For This Useful Post: |
03-13-2014, 12:36 PM | #10 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: the Bay
Posts: 297
Thanks: 133
Thanked 345 Times in 98 Posts
Rep Power: 7011896 |
:)
Things that help me stay in the positive :
Lots of self care : exercising, sleeping well, eating "right", playing guitar, listening to music Spending time with positive humans SEX/Kink having an animal companion |
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Stronghealer For This Useful Post: |
03-13-2014, 12:38 PM | #11 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
stone butch Preferred Pronoun?:
makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status:
single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 4,907
Thanks: 4,682
Thanked 14,937 Times in 3,937 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Great subject Medusa.For me to keep a good attitude plus a less dramatic life I do many things to keep things happy/stress free as can be.One is to take care of my out look on whats going on in the space I call mine,another is I stay away from negative people who can't live without drama,needy& whiney people just want to use anyone they can drop the oh poor me thing on.Controling people is another thing I just let pass me by, big red flag on this one.Anyone on drugs or booze as a means of life ..red flag again.Liers and cheaters big time trouble...I run like a track star from this.On the good side I am thank full for the good things,apresheate what I can and let those in my world know they mean a lot to me by word,action and deed.I take care of my health,watch my $$ so I can enjoy the things in life annnnddd once in a while I splurge on something.
|
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Rockinonahigh For This Useful Post: |
03-13-2014, 01:01 PM | #12 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
Married Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: rose cottage
Posts: 5,558
Thanks: 8,663
Thanked 15,796 Times in 4,030 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
I have a lifetime history of getting through really tough hard times. I have succeeded in pulling myself up and moving on, no matter what the trauma or crisis was. It all started with my brother's suicide in 1975. I stayed pretty drunk for about 15 years after that and then one day I just decided I didnt want to be the dead one.
I snatched life back and started living it loudly. Sure I have taken risks that at times have caused havoc, but oh my god, the thrilling adventure that is my life! I read like a well lived life.... but when things are just going smoothly and I am having a bad day, I call people up. Or I do something I always wanted to do but made excuses not to do. Could be as simply as dusting the house. Or it could be a walk in our areas gorgeous botanical garden. I journal. I go on the internet and connect. I find a horse. I walk the dogs. the important thing, is to stop doing what I am doing and do something else. Sitting in a one direction stream, only gives you the same result...
__________________
Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
The field sees, the forest hears |
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Soft*Silver For This Useful Post: |
07-13-2014, 04:16 PM | #13 |
Mentally Delicious
How Do You Identify?:
Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?:
Mme. Relationship Status:
Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 10,446
Thanks: 5,995
Thanked 42,843 Times in 7,833 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861 |
If I have a pissy day or feel irritated about something, I will stop and list 3 things I am wildly grateful for. It works every time to put me back into a positive headspace and to give me a little perspective!
__________________
. . . |
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Medusa For This Useful Post: |
07-13-2014, 05:10 PM | #14 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
The Gardner Preferred Pronoun?:
Ummmm Relationship Status:
Nah Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Sunshine State, State of Sunshine
Posts: 2,616
Thanks: 1,577
Thanked 3,890 Times in 1,155 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
Visit my therapist weekly.
|
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to MrSunshine For This Useful Post: |
07-13-2014, 07:33 PM | #15 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She/her Relationship Status:
That's Need to Know Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Aberdeen, WA
Posts: 4,478
Thanks: 12,464
Thanked 13,995 Times in 3,685 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
I went swimming today. I did laps in the lap pool, I sat in the hot tub. It made me remember that self care is so very, very important. I feel grounded and capable. Even with all the very challenging things going on in my life... I feel under control.
__________________
--Jenn |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to JustLovelyJenn For This Useful Post: |
07-13-2014, 08:21 PM | #16 | |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,631
Thanks: 182,485
Thanked 108,775 Times in 25,689 Posts
Rep Power: 21474887 |
Quote:
I try to remember that saying "in 100 years, all new people" or 'this too shall pass' but mostly I tell myself that I wouldn't do well in prison so let it go and move on. |
|
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Gemme For This Useful Post: |
07-13-2014, 09:00 PM | #17 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Light Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
Hitched to Red Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,528
Thanks: 2,261
Thanked 5,380 Times in 1,245 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
I started owning the fact that I had way to many negative people around me because I thought I could help them! They say you can't fix stupid however you don't have to let them suck the very life out of you! See ya!
__________________
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawake." ~ Anatole France |
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Okiebug61 For This Useful Post: |
07-14-2014, 06:07 AM | #18 |
Superlative Soul Sister
How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian stone femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her Relationship Status:
Single Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Cottage of Content
Posts: 13,203
Thanks: 41,220
Thanked 34,465 Times in 8,756 Posts
Rep Power: 21474860 |
Two things help me stay in a good place mentally. I don't take on other people's problems nor goals.
Other people's problems aren't my problems. I can empathize, be compassionate and/or sympathetic. I will help you, but the problem isn't mine to solve or worry about. Or, you may not like me or what I did. I'll accept that, apologize, work with you so it doesn't happen again, part on friendly terms, etc.... but I'm not going to let your bad impression of me become my impression of me. Other people's goals aren't mine, either. I make an effort to not compare myself with others or worry about how much income my friends and teammates earn, what trips they take, property they own, bonuses they have, cars, marriages etc. I try to stay focused on what I need to make me happy and how I'm going to attain these needs. On the most part, I'm able to stay focused on my needs and this allows me to be happy for other people and happy for me.
__________________
Today is a good day to read a banned book. |
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Orema For This Useful Post: |
07-14-2014, 06:42 AM | #19 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?:
she, her, little one Relationship Status:
dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: dallas, tx
Posts: 1,495
Thanks: 13,823
Thanked 6,443 Times in 1,288 Posts
Rep Power: 21474850 |
watch/read something that makes me happy - for the last several months this has been my little pony. i also play with my mlp toys and such. it helps that my daddy is really into mlp too so we can squee over it together.
i think about all the things i have that i am grateful for - a nice apartment, food, enough money to pay for my needs and some of my wants, lots of books, games, my partners and family, friends, etc. i try to limit my energy to things that have to be done, like taking care of my health. focusing on survival can be both a negative and a positive, but in being in community with other queer disabled folks, i've learned some helpful outlooks. a friend of mine with a rare tumor condition says that she often asks herself, if this is the last day she has or the last project she gets to work on or whatever, what would she do with her time? this outlook is for me really helpful for narrowing my focus to realize that expending energy on drama or things that don't fill me up is really a waste of my one precious life. praying, really and truly for me helps. a lot of joy for me is found in centering my days around prayer as much as possible and a lot of suffering happens when i forget to pray and then let myself get caught up in whatever painful shit is going on, i.e. work drama and stuff. |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to aishah For This Useful Post: |
07-14-2014, 08:09 AM | #20 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
stone butch Preferred Pronoun?:
makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status:
single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 4,907
Thanks: 4,682
Thanked 14,937 Times in 3,937 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
The main thing the bugs me is learning to deal with my diabetes,there are days
I have it going my way then I find I don't at all,then it kicks my butt.My numbers are with in the allowed amount but like this morning I tested at 127 instead of 110 or so....all I ate was three crackers before I remembers to test..three dam crackers.I should have waited a while but I got up starving plus I have had to many drops lately and I have spoken to the Doctor about it,so far no word from her.I remind myself it could be worse so watch what I eat with out thinking. |
|
|