LGBT friends you have IRL

stephfromMIT · 09-02-2012, 09:43 PM

Amanda and I went to HS with Todd and Zach, guys who started dating that summer after 8th grade. Todd played football with me, and Zach ran track with Mandy. We were about the only gay kids in our grade throughout HS, but people were generally nice to us. Zach's in Law School, Todd working at a local equity firm, once Zach finishes, Todd will get his MBA.

Martina · 09-02-2012, 09:59 PM

Straight friends are the exception here in CA. I am kinky, and I find some straight kinky folk to be on the creepy side. Strangely I haven't made a lot of friends from work. My former aide was great, but she has small children and now lives relatively far away. We just never kept up after I left that job.

Back home, in Ann Arbor, most of my friends were made during graduate school, so some straight, some gay. Mostly straight. Mostly guys. My closest friend from Ann Arbor is a gay man. He called the other night. It was great. We don't talk as much as we should. Combine cell phones with hearing loss and sometimes it's just not worth it.

stephfromMIT · 09-02-2012, 10:05 PM

Forgot to mention-Todd and Zach will marry as soon as Todd finishes his MBA. (4 more years)

aishah · 09-02-2012, 10:19 PM

my friend dawn and her wife anna were the first happily married couple (straight or queer) that i ever met. dawn and i met in college and she's doing graduate work in library science right now. they've been married about 15 years. i was also lucky to have a lot of awesome queer friends when i lived in charlottesville from 2009-2011. there were a lot of struggles around classism, transphobia, and other issues in the queer community when i lived there but i met some cool people.

i'm lucky to have a big extended radical queer and trans* family (of all ages), many of whom i see once or twice a year at events like the allied media conference or the lgbt muslim retreat. we communicate daily/weekly via fb and sometimes phone or skype.

locally in lawrence i'm part of a youth group - mostly middle and high school aged queer and trans* youth - of really amazing people. i've also gotten to know several other folks in their 20s and 30s here who are radical, queer, and do social justice work, and have made some friends. we're talking about possibly opening a youth center together here. i've gotten to know a few older folks through church and local and state advocacy orgs.

unfortunately the poly and kinky communities in kansas tend to be really straight and a bit creepy as martina said...i've been trying to get to know people involved in polyamory and kink here and it's been pretty hit or miss so far.

nycfem · 09-02-2012, 11:04 PM

Fun thread, Stephanie!

Living in NYC, wow, lots of LGBT friends, so lucky this way! My gay younger brother lives nearby me and we share a lot of friends. For instance, we have a completely queer Passover Seder. And not only is it queer, but it's radical, progressive, political, and so fucking gender bending! I love that I have the opportunity to live my life this way these days. When I grew up in Ohio, it was not like that! I did find one gay friend in high school (a guy) but that was it! I can think of one cisgender self-defining heterosexual close friend I have. BUT even with her, once I ate her pussy during college while we were watching porn and she loved it

durrrrrrrr · 09-02-2012, 11:20 PM

i use to like indy racing league

lusciouskiwi · 09-02-2012, 11:29 PM

Now that I know what IRL means ... I have several colleagues who are lesbian or gay. One butch friend I know from when we were both teaching in South Korea (she let me paint her toe nails blue after we had sex once). She's over here with her gf in the same project but different employer. Another mate (the one I spent the weekend with) same company as mate above, I also know him from South Korea and he's also from NZ. We had a great time talking about gay and lesbian sex, positions and lube, etc. I have a couple of other lesbian couple colleagues in my company - one couple I don't interact with (I'm not cool enough), the other I do and saw them twice during the school holidays while they were on the island.

I also have a couple of Malaysian lesbian mates who are also school teachers - one's a high school English teacher (and very bossy! LOL), the other was in the primary school division but now she's doing something else (not sure what).

I don't see my queer mates nearly enough and must change that.

Strappie · 09-02-2012, 11:35 PM

Growing up I didn't know any gay people so I didn't have any role models. I came from a very small town. I graduated with 38 people. When I got out of HS I discovered a whole new world of gay and lesbians. Now living in Minneapolis, MN I can honestly say I have well over 100 gay and lesbian friends. Even more if I counted friends of friends. So I am very lucky to live where I do. I would say I have at least 50 friends that I call 4am friends, ones that if I was in trouble, would come to my rescue at 4am. I one lucky person!

Words · 09-02-2012, 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stephfromMIT

Amanda and I went to HS with Todd and Zach, guys who started dating that summer after 8th grade. Todd played football with me, and Zach ran track with Mandy. We were about the only gay kids in our grade throughout HS, but people were generally nice to us. Zach's in Law School, Todd working at a local equity firm, once Zach finishes, Todd will get his MBA.

Hi Steph,

Steph, are your friends out? Just wondering because assuming you're using their real names, you're giving out quite a bit of information about them and if they're not out, they could object (were they to know). Coming to think about it, even if they are out, they could object, no?

Just a thought....

Words

stephfromMIT · 09-02-2012, 11:51 PM

Todd and Zach (and Amanda for that matter) are VERY out.

lettertodaddy · 09-03-2012, 12:17 AM

Too many to name, but most of us are scattered all over the place, which makes me sad. It's only in recent years that the number of heterosexual friends started to outnumber my queer friends.

My direct supervisor is queer, the incoming head of our work unit is queer, and as far as I know, there are a few other folks in our unit who are. Yay for the library!

SugarFemme · 09-03-2012, 12:17 AM

I have ZERO gay/queer friends IRL. I hate it. I feel so isolated in my queerness. I am 100% out and no one to be queer with LMAO jk. Seriously,

Quintease · 09-03-2012, 01:31 AM

This is a toughie as ALL of my friends are gay, in every city I've lived in.

Instead I'll mention the few exceptions.

My bi curious ex-colleague who has told me many times that she should have been bisexual (she's quite political). My bestie in school who used to pretend I was her gf to get rid of creepy guys, now she's happily married to a man. My other school friend who was always gay-friendly only to unexpectedly fall in love with a woman. They've been together for almost a decade now. My other high school friend who's a doctor and has been with the same man since her teens. And that's it. Except for a few people that I was friends with IRL for a while but are now restricted to Facebook.

always2late · 09-03-2012, 03:04 AM

I would say the straight to queer ratio of my friends is about 60%-40%. I would like to get more active in my local gay community, but I think that is going to have to wait until I'm done with school. I don't see my friends, whether gay or straight, as often as I'd like due to my schedule, my son, etc...

girl_dee · 09-03-2012, 06:43 AM

Steph you sure are a thought provoker!

We had a gay guy friend over for dinner yesterday! i haven't really thought about it because to me we only associate with people who are accepting of our queerness and lifestyle, it's rather fluid so until now i haven't thought about it.

09-02-2012, 09:43 PM	#1
stephfromMIT Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Troll Preferred Pronoun?: she her Relationship Status: engaged to my fiancee Amanda Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: cambridge MA Posts: 230 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 703 Thanked 408 Times in 143 Posts Rep Power: 0	LGBT friends you have IRL Amanda and I went to HS with Todd and Zach, guys who started dating that summer after 8th grade. Todd played football with me, and Zach ran track with Mandy. We were about the only gay kids in our grade throughout HS, but people were generally nice to us. Zach's in Law School, Todd working at a local equity firm, once Zach finishes, Todd will get his MBA.

09-02-2012, 11:20 PM	#6
durrrrrrrr Senior Member How Do You Identify?: TG Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: he , him Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: ayup Posts: 3,603 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,299 Thanked 10,217 Times in 2,504 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	i use to like indy racing league __________________ http://img1.jurko.net/avatar_1303.gif well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit

09-02-2012, 11:29 PM	#7
lusciouskiwi Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme lesbian feminist Preferred Pronoun?: Anything except for "aunty" Relationship Status: Happy with my butch. Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Aotearoa New Zealand Posts: 2,681 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 25,494 Thanked 9,096 Times in 1,899 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Now that I know what IRL means ... I have several colleagues who are lesbian or gay. One butch friend I know from when we were both teaching in South Korea (she let me paint her toe nails blue after we had sex once). She's over here with her gf in the same project but different employer. Another mate (the one I spent the weekend with) same company as mate above, I also know him from South Korea and he's also from NZ. We had a great time talking about gay and lesbian sex, positions and lube, etc. I have a couple of other lesbian couple colleagues in my company - one couple I don't interact with (I'm not cool enough), the other I do and saw them twice during the school holidays while they were on the island. I also have a couple of Malaysian lesbian mates who are also school teachers - one's a high school English teacher (and very bossy! LOL), the other was in the primary school division but now she's doing something else (not sure what). I don't see my queer mates nearly enough and must change that. __________________ happiness is a form of courage. George Holbrook Jackson Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth. Katherine Mansfield Motivate yourself or be miserable. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. Wayne Dyer

09-03-2012, 12:17 AM	#11
lettertodaddy Member How Do You Identify?: dorky queer femme bottom Preferred Pronoun?: feminine ones Relationship Status: single, dammit. Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: vancouver, bc Posts: 240 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 157 Thanked 716 Times in 158 Posts Rep Power: 8075872	Too many to name, but most of us are scattered all over the place, which makes me sad. It's only in recent years that the number of heterosexual friends started to outnumber my queer friends. My direct supervisor is queer, the incoming head of our work unit is queer, and as far as I know, there are a few other folks in our unit who are. Yay for the library! __________________ "If I'm in a room full of cookies, the cookies ain't got no damn chance." - Charles Barkley The meaning behind my screen name:

09-03-2012, 01:31 AM	#13
Quintease Member How Do You Identify?: Rainbow femme Preferred Pronoun?: princess Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 514 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 508 Thanked 1,816 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 10345577	This is a toughie as ALL of my friends are gay, in every city I've lived in. Instead I'll mention the few exceptions. My bi curious ex-colleague who has told me many times that she should have been bisexual (she's quite political). My bestie in school who used to pretend I was her gf to get rid of creepy guys, now she's happily married to a man. My other school friend who was always gay-friendly only to unexpectedly fall in love with a woman. They've been together for almost a decade now. My other high school friend who's a doctor and has been with the same man since her teens. And that's it. Except for a few people that I was friends with IRL for a while but are now restricted to Facebook. __________________ It is not worth an intelligent person's time to be in the majority. By definition, there are already enough people to do that.

09-02-2012, 09:59 PM	#2
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,366 Times in 4,171 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Straight friends are the exception here in CA. I am kinky, and I find some straight kinky folk to be on the creepy side. Strangely I haven't made a lot of friends from work. My former aide was great, but she has small children and now lives relatively far away. We just never kept up after I left that job. Back home, in Ann Arbor, most of my friends were made during graduate school, so some straight, some gay. Mostly straight. Mostly guys. My closest friend from Ann Arbor is a gay man. He called the other night. It was great. We don't talk as much as we should. Combine cell phones with hearing loss and sometimes it's just not worth it.

09-02-2012, 10:05 PM	#3
stephfromMIT Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Troll Preferred Pronoun?: she her Relationship Status: engaged to my fiancee Amanda Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: cambridge MA Posts: 230 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 703 Thanked 408 Times in 143 Posts Rep Power: 0	Forgot to mention-Todd and Zach will marry as soon as Todd finishes his MBA. (4 more years)

09-02-2012, 10:19 PM	#4
aishah Member How Do You Identify?: queer stone femme shark baby girl Preferred Pronoun?: she, her, little one Relationship Status: dating myself. Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: dallas, tx Posts: 1,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,823 Thanked 6,437 Times in 1,288 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	my friend dawn and her wife anna were the first happily married couple (straight or queer) that i ever met. dawn and i met in college and she's doing graduate work in library science right now. they've been married about 15 years. i was also lucky to have a lot of awesome queer friends when i lived in charlottesville from 2009-2011. there were a lot of struggles around classism, transphobia, and other issues in the queer community when i lived there but i met some cool people. i'm lucky to have a big extended radical queer and trans* family (of all ages), many of whom i see once or twice a year at events like the allied media conference or the lgbt muslim retreat. we communicate daily/weekly via fb and sometimes phone or skype. locally in lawrence i'm part of a youth group - mostly middle and high school aged queer and trans* youth - of really amazing people. i've also gotten to know several other folks in their 20s and 30s here who are radical, queer, and do social justice work, and have made some friends. we're talking about possibly opening a youth center together here. i've gotten to know a few older folks through church and local and state advocacy orgs. unfortunately the poly and kinky communities in kansas tend to be really straight and a bit creepy as martina said...i've been trying to get to know people involved in polyamory and kink here and it's been pretty hit or miss so far.

09-02-2012, 11:04 PM	#5
nycfem Moderator How Do You Identify?: femme sub Preferred Pronoun?: Baby Grrl Relationship Status: Attached Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NYC Posts: 6,768 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 52,825 Thanked 21,719 Times in 5,083 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Fun thread, Stephanie! Living in NYC, wow, lots of LGBT friends, so lucky this way! My gay younger brother lives nearby me and we share a lot of friends. For instance, we have a completely queer Passover Seder. And not only is it queer, but it's radical, progressive, political, and so fucking gender bending! I love that I have the opportunity to live my life this way these days. When I grew up in Ohio, it was not like that! I did find one gay friend in high school (a guy) but that was it! I can think of one cisgender self-defining heterosexual close friend I have. BUT even with her, once I ate her pussy during college while we were watching porn and she loved it

09-02-2012, 11:35 PM	#8
Strappie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: I know who I am... Doesn't matter Relationship Status: It's a new day.... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mpls, MN Posts: 3,283 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,813 Thanked 4,946 Times in 1,350 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Growing up I didn't know any gay people so I didn't have any role models. I came from a very small town. I graduated with 38 people. When I got out of HS I discovered a whole new world of gay and lesbians. Now living in Minneapolis, MN I can honestly say I have well over 100 gay and lesbian friends. Even more if I counted friends of friends. So I am very lucky to live where I do. I would say I have at least 50 friends that I call 4am friends, ones that if I was in trouble, would come to my rescue at 4am. I one lucky person!

09-02-2012, 11:51 PM	#10
stephfromMIT Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Troll Preferred Pronoun?: she her Relationship Status: engaged to my fiancee Amanda Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: cambridge MA Posts: 230 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 703 Thanked 408 Times in 143 Posts Rep Power: 0	Todd and Zach (and Amanda for that matter) are VERY out.

09-03-2012, 12:17 AM	#12
SugarFemme Member How Do You Identify?: Fierce Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Singular Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Southwest Posts: 1,029 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 650 Thanked 4,463 Times in 854 Posts Rep Power*: 21474850	I have ZERO gay/queer friends IRL. I hate it. I feel so isolated in my queerness. I am 100% out and no one to be queer with LMAO jk. Seriously,

09-03-2012, 03:04 AM	#14
always2late Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: m'lady Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 2,000 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,834 Thanked 6,231 Times in 1,462 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I would say the straight to queer ratio of my friends is about 60%-40%. I would like to get more active in my local gay community, but I think that is going to have to wait until I'm done with school. I don't see my friends, whether gay or straight, as often as I'd like due to my schedule, my son, etc... __________________ Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi

09-03-2012, 06:43 AM	#15
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,956 Times in 13,922 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	Steph you sure are a thought provoker! We had a gay guy friend over for dinner yesterday! i haven't really thought about it because to me we only associate with people who are accepting of our queerness and lifestyle, it's rather fluid so until now i haven't thought about it.