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Breakups, Lessons Learned, Healing PLEASE do not use this forum for ugliness or nasty posts. |
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03-25-2010, 09:16 AM | #1 | |
The Planet's Technical Bubba
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Married to my forever! Join Date: Nov 2009
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I find it frustrating in that if the person had spoken to me about whatever had caused them to stray we could have either resolved together to separate amicably or entered into a poly relationship (if all parties were inclined and opened for that). Today, if it is happens, the existing relationship will be over and I'll be moving on. Given my previous experience and knowing myself I know it'll be better in the long run.
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03-25-2010, 09:50 AM | #2 | |
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For me... If my partner was having an affair, then the relationship would be ended... Because it would mean she chose to put someone else ahead of our relationship (which I view as a living thing on it's own) It would mean that she threw away all the hard work, tears, freaking eons of talking.. It would mean that her priorities had shifted and someone else was more important than the base *US*... For me.. Being Poly isn't easy.. It doesn't mean that you just do anything you want and your partner is fine with it... It's a lot of hard work and talking, and talking, and defining, and redefining what your relationship is.. It's also talking about what happens if your partner falls in love with someone that you don't like, don't respect, someone who doesn't want to put the work into being more than a paired couple.. If she fell for someone who didn't want to be part of *US*, Someone that I just couldn't stand..And we had talked about it until we were blue in the face.. and kept seeing that person without me knowing it... ummmm.. ya.. no.. That would be a very bad thing and it would cost her me.. Vis versa... I won't be lied to on that level.. there is not need.. You have to make hard choices sometimes.. What do you want more?
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cheating, monogamy, relationships |
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