Long Distance Relationships

Linus · 06-13-2010, 06:16 PM

When K and I started going out, we were across borders (Toronto and NYC). When I finally moved here, we lived together for nearly 3 years. She moved back out West (Los Angeles) to be closer to her family and find a job. I'll be moving out there at the end of August. I had forgotten how difficult it is to be apart from the one you love.

I'm reminded each night when I go to bed alone.

I'm reminded each day by the silence (only broken by Bobcat who whines for K).

There are a variety of little tricks that we use to stay in contact (e.g., online talking, phone date nights, etc.)

I thought it might be useful for those who are just starting LDRs or have "forced" LDRs due to factors outside of the relationship to have a thread to discuss ideas, tricks, etc. at keeping things alive and avoiding the loneliness that sometimes come with it.

Massive · 06-13-2010, 06:37 PM

I truly recommend Skype for anyone in a LDR, you can talk and see each other online! It helps that it's free to talk too.
Text messages too, I send text messages to My babygirl when I it's not easy for Me to get online, sometimes My phone doesn't like the weather here so it doesn't connect to the internet too well, so text messages are another way to simply send a message just saying "I love you" because sometimes even those three simple words can brighten the day of the one you love.

Sam · 06-13-2010, 06:40 PM

Dude.

i so understand your frustration.

Although i am no longer in a LDR, i was for 18 months. OMG it was seriously hard. So many ups and downs.

Be happy you are making it work and august aint that far away. You have 3 years under your belt, its working it self out.

Just keep doing what your doing and before you know it, it will be august.

My ex and i broke up every month for something or another, but with deep communication we picked ourselves up and moved on.

At this point after the breakup we are not even friends. i wish things were different, but LD is so hard.

If i had to do it again, i would do things differently, serious note!

Good Luck Linus, you got this in the bag

PearlsNLace · 06-13-2010, 06:51 PM

When Paphigleo and I started dating we had to seriously consider wich of the 2 evils we were willing to face-

Having a long distance relationship,
or
Doing the 2nd date UHual thing.

We decided we would rather move to fast, and face the risks, than the expense and agony of the long distance.

We planned an exit strategy for each of us, if moving him in didnt work. We planned a dating strategy too- that is still in effect.

He moved here in January, and at this point I do think we made the right choice.

My heart goes out to each of you who are working with the distance. It can be a rough one.

ravfem · 07-20-2010, 01:55 PM

...i think this is an appropriate quote:

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

chefhottie25 · 08-25-2010, 12:17 PM

i have recently started a long distance relationship. we communicate in some form daily...but it is limited because we also have a 3 hour time difference. so when it is getting late or past my bedtime; she is in the early evening hours. i have sacrificed a few hours of sleep here and there so we can talk longer. it is definitely worth it. i hope for the day when we are in the same time zone. it sucks waking up alone.

Linus · 08-25-2010, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chefhottie25

i have recently started a long distance relationship. we communicate in some form daily...but it is limited because we also have a 3 hour time difference. so when it is getting late or past my bedtime; she is in the early evening hours. i have sacrificed a few hours of sleep here and there so we can talk longer. it is definitely worth it. i hope for the day when we are in the same time zone. it sucks waking up alone.

chefhottie: I can appreciate that. It's hard when it's an LDR. It's harder when there is a timezone difference. One of the things I'd do is go back to old-fashioned romance and write love letters. I even once scanned my hands and sent that to K so she could "touch" me.

06-13-2010, 06:16 PM	#1
Linus The Planet's Technical Bubba How Do You Identify?: FTM Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him/Geek Relationship Status: Married to my forever! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Redondo Beach, CA Posts: 5,440 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,929 Thanked 10,743 Times in 3,176 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Long Distance Relationships When K and I started going out, we were across borders (Toronto and NYC). When I finally moved here, we lived together for nearly 3 years. She moved back out West (Los Angeles) to be closer to her family and find a job. I'll be moving out there at the end of August. I had forgotten how difficult it is to be apart from the one you love. I'm reminded each night when I go to bed alone. I'm reminded each day by the silence (only broken by Bobcat who whines for K). There are a variety of little tricks that we use to stay in contact (e.g., online talking, phone date nights, etc.) I thought it might be useful for those who are just starting LDRs or have "forced" LDRs due to factors outside of the relationship to have a thread to discuss ideas, tricks, etc. at keeping things alive and avoiding the loneliness that sometimes come with it. __________________ Personal Blog \|\| [] \|\| Cigar Blog "We become Human Doings instead of Human Beings." -- Ram Dass

06-13-2010, 06:37 PM	#2
Massive Member How Do You Identify?: Trans man Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him Relationship Status: not looking Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Northern England Posts: 945 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,669 Thanked 2,383 Times in 765 Posts Rep Power: 17762094	I truly recommend Skype for anyone in a LDR, you can talk and see each other online! It helps that it's free to talk too. Text messages too, I send text messages to My babygirl when I it's not easy for Me to get online, sometimes My phone doesn't like the weather here so it doesn't connect to the internet too well, so text messages are another way to simply send a message just saying "I love you" because sometimes even those three simple words can brighten the day of the one you love. __________________ You may not be able to choose your bio-family, but you can choose your Family

07-20-2010, 01:55 PM	#5
ravfem Senior Member How Do You Identify?: i'm a girl Relationship Status: negative Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Georgia Posts: 1,811 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,239 Thanked 3,126 Times in 1,269 Posts Rep Power: 1969285	applied to LDR's.... ...i think this is an appropriate quote: Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky ~ Rainer Maria Rilke __________________

06-13-2010, 06:40 PM	#3
Sam Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 2/11/2011 Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: I'll let you know Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 1,131 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,101 Thanked 668 Times in 363 Posts Rep Power: 0	Dude. i so understand your frustration. Although i am no longer in a LDR, i was for 18 months. OMG it was seriously hard. So many ups and downs. Be happy you are making it work and august aint that far away. You have 3 years under your belt, its working it self out. Just keep doing what your doing and before you know it, it will be august. My ex and i broke up every month for something or another, but with deep communication we picked ourselves up and moved on. At this point after the breakup we are not even friends. i wish things were different, but LD is so hard. If i had to do it again, i would do things differently, serious note! Good Luck Linus, you got this in the bag

06-13-2010, 06:51 PM	#4
PearlsNLace Member How Do You Identify?: queer Preferred Pronoun?: They/Them & her/she Relationship Status: Lucky, very lucky Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Portlandia, Oregon Posts: 427 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 875 Thanked 1,286 Times in 315 Posts Rep Power: 6505516	When Paphigleo and I started dating we had to seriously consider wich of the 2 evils we were willing to face- Having a long distance relationship, or Doing the 2nd date UHual thing. We decided we would rather move to fast, and face the risks, than the expense and agony of the long distance. We planned an exit strategy for each of us, if moving him in didnt work. We planned a dating strategy too- that is still in effect. He moved here in January, and at this point I do think we made the right choice. My heart goes out to each of you who are working with the distance. It can be a rough one.

08-25-2010, 12:17 PM	#6
chefhottie25 Member How Do You Identify?: boi Preferred Pronoun?: hy Relationship Status: happily taken Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: ohio Posts: 1,406 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26 Thanked 889 Times in 477 Posts Rep Power: 1175216	i have recently started a long distance relationship. we communicate in some form daily...but it is limited because we also have a 3 hour time difference. so when it is getting late or past my bedtime; she is in the early evening hours. i have sacrificed a few hours of sleep here and there so we can talk longer. it is definitely worth it. i hope for the day when we are in the same time zone. it sucks waking up alone.