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[Orema]

5 Exercises for a Better Sex Life

Any physical activity can improve your sexual health. But a few exercises are especially beneficial.


Image Credit: Sara Andreasson

By Danielle Friedman, April 27, 2024

As far as your muscles are concerned, sex is just another workout. And like most workouts, the more conditioned you are, the more enjoyable it can be.

Yes, you can train for sex.

“It’s important to remember that sex is movement, and it’s exercise,” said Debby Herbenick, director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at the Indiana University School of Public Health. If you want to have satisfying sex, she said, you’ll likely benefit from moving your body outside of the bedroom.

If you’re happy with your sex life, a regular fitness habit can help to ensure your body continues to function properly. If you feel like your sex life could be more satisfying, exercise may help with erectile dysfunction, pain with penetration and low sex drive, among other issues.

Regular physical activity can also help you become more self aware. “You learn to listen to your body,” Dr. Herbenick said, “and then you can carry that wisdom over to your sexual life.”

While pretty much any workout routine can improve sex over time, a few specific types of movement can be especially helpful for sexual function and enjoyment, depending on your needs and physical ability. Here are five exercises that experts in sexual health and fitness recommend.

Work in bursts of high intensity cardio.

Your cardiovascular health directly impacts your sexual health, and not just because sex can sometimes be vigorous and aerobic, Dr. Herbenick said.

The cardiovascular system powers two bodily systems that are important for sex: erections and vaginal lubrication. Without proper blood flow, one will likely have trouble achieving or maintaining either, she said. Research also suggests that, for some people, aerobic exercise itself can stimulate arousal.

If you don’t already do aerobic exercise, begin by establishing a solid cardio baseline through regular, moderate-intensity activity, said Darlene Marshall, a personal trainer in upstate New York who has helped clients train for better sex.

Then, once you can comfortably walk or jog at a “conversational” pace for about 20 minutes, add intervals of high-intensity effort, she said — to train for the bursts of exertion sex can require. Depending on your fitness level, running or cycling sprints, brisk stair climbs or high intensity interval training are all good options.

Do Kegels — correctly.

The health of your pelvic floor, the hammock of muscles that sits at the base of the pelvis, can make the difference between a gratifying sexual experience and a lackluster or even painful one — for women and men — said Janelle Howell, a pelvic floor specialist in Chicago. Between 10 and 20 percent of women in the United States report pain during sex.

When your pelvic floor muscles are weak or tight, you may not experience as powerful an orgasm. Tight pelvic floor muscles can also make penetrative sex painful. Healthy pelvic floor muscles need both strength and flexibility to be able to contract and fully release on command.

Kegel exercises, which mimic the effort of holding and releasing urine or gas, can be an effective way to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, Dr. Howell said. The key is to make sure that after every contraction, you fully relax the muscles — something many people don’t do properly.

For women, Dr. Howell suggests imagining an elevator slowly going up, then slowly going all the way back down to the ground floor, to ensure the muscles fully release. For men, tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold for three seconds, then fully relax for three seconds.

If you have a tight pelvic floor, experts advise skipping the Kegels and focusing instead on diaphragmatic breathing, which can help to relax and lengthen the muscles. (A pelvic floor physical therapist can offer a full assessment.)

Limber up your hips.

Most people spend hours a day sitting, which can lead to tight hip muscles, fascia and ligaments. When your hips are tight, you may experience back and pelvic pain during sex.

“I hear a lot that people can only do one position,” because they’re stiff or other positions hurt, Dr. Howell said.

Improving your hip mobility can help your whole lower body move more fluidly and comfortably, and may improve pelvic pain during sex, she said.

As a first step, Ms. Marshall recommends releasing some of the constricted areas by placing a tennis ball against your glutes and rolling it around, then shifting it to your hips and hamstrings, massaging each area until you feel the muscle release. This can be done sitting or against a wall.

From there, stretch your hips, hip flexors, glutes, back muscles and hamstrings by doing a figure-four stretch, 90/90 stretch, cat cow or happy baby pose, Dr. Howell said, or “any movement that’s bringing your chest closer towards your knees.”

Finally, dynamic exercises such as deep squats and glute bridges mobilize the hips and build strength. And if you want to dial up the intensity, weighted squats, leg presses and kettlebell swings can increase the power in your glutes and hamstrings.

“I love kettlebell swings for sexual training,” Ms. Marshall said, because they involve “a rhythmic movement of flexion and extension in the hips.”

Focus on your entire core.

The more strength you have in your core, the more you will be able to move easily during sex. Most of the nerves and muscles that are involved in sex are integrated into the core, and strong core muscles can also help to reduce back and hip pain before, during and after sex.

“Strengthening the core can really help with endurance during sex, helping you feel strong and solid in your body,” said Rachel Zar, a sex therapist in Chicago.

To work the full cylinder of muscles that make up the core, Dr. Howell recommends doing planks daily. “You can start small,” she said. “Say you can only hold it for five to 10 seconds — that’s going to help you to engage all of your core muscles at one time.”

Another bonus to working the core muscles? Dr. Herbenick and her team have found that, for some people, contracting and releasing their core muscles helped them become aroused. Consider your planks foreplay.

Practice five minutes of daily yoga.

Yoga can help improve hip mobility and build core strength. And practicing slow, deep, diaphragmatic breathing is especially valuable for sex, Dr. Herbenick said, because it helps to relax both the body’s parasympathetic nervous system and the pelvic floor.

“You might find that vaginal penetration is more comfortable. You might find that erections come more easily,” she said. “Stress is the enemy of erections.”

If you don’t feel up to moving through yoga positions, practicing the breath work alone is valuable, Dr. Howell noted. “Even just laying on the yoga mat, putting your hands on your belly and just breathing into your belly can really start to calm that nervous system,” she said, “which can then support more pleasure in your sex life.”

Danielle Friedman is a journalist in New York and the author of “Let’s Get Physical: How Women Discovered Exercise and Reshaped the World.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/27/w...rformance.html

[Orema]

Had a walk with Bella this morning. I haven't been exercising but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Have gained about 5 lbs and have decided to take Tirzepitide, a weight-loss medicine. I'll start the medication next week but decided to get back to exercising this week.

The knees are stiff, but the stiffness is only in the knees so it doesn't prevent me from moving. I'm movng more than before my new knees, but not as much as want.

It was a good walk and Bella was a delightful companion, as always.

[Bèsame*]

For fun, I added up steps and calculated miles.

97,743 step
Equaling 41.63 miles.

Feeling sorry for my feet now.

[easygoingfemme]

I joined a summer rowing team that starts in July so I've added my rowing machine back into my workouts. They have training guidelines and I'm a little like woah, so glad I can make room for that in my mornings! That and a lot of mowing today.

[Bèsame*]

I put in 4 miles at work and probably 2.5 miles on my bike ride this evening.

[Gemme]

I finally joined the rest of world and installed a pedometer app. I walk a lot less now so I set my minimum as 7000 steps and have made it or gone beyond all but one day since I started it a few weeks ago.

Still need to get back into the gym, though. I'm down quite a bit of weight but there hasn't been any weight training so I'm a wee bit jiggy.

[easygoingfemme]

I climbed a mountain today. I've climbed this one before but it's been a couple of years since I saw her peak. Today was perfect weather and the climb was just wonderful. I had a good friend and hiking buddy with me. We usually get lost a few times in our hikes because we get so busy talking we miss trail markers but we didn't get lost once today. It was really good.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

My new Physical Therapist came to the house for the first time today. I like her a lot! She seems very smart, is super nice (and uber cute - bonus!). I've been having trouble with my walker, and she was immediately able to identify the problems: I've been standing wrong, and it was adjusted too short. My back already hurts less since she readjusted it.

This was mostly a getting-acquainted type visit, but we did do some exercises. She showed me a personalized website where she entered the exercises (with descriptions) so I can do them over the course of the next week until I see her again.

I am so glad my insurance is going to spring for home PT. Going to the office was killing me; I was so worn out by the time I got there I couldn't do much of anything.

[Gemme]

Since July started on a Monday, I figured that was as good a time as any to get back into the gym so I've been every day....all 4 of them...since then.

July 1st, I did some cardio to warm up, then a basic, one set with 10 reps go 'round in the circuit training area, followed by more cardio for the cool down.

July 2nd, I was sore from waking up long dormant muscles so I stuck to cardio.

July 3rd, I was in a time crunch and was still a wee bit stiff, so more cardio.

July 4th--happy potential last celebratory day of actual freedom--I didn't get there as early as I wanted and they closed early for the holiday so I did a brief cardio warm up followed by another quick run at the circuit training area, minus one apparatus that was out of order and ending with a a short cool down on the elliptical.

So far, so good!

[Gemme]

I've gone every day, even the ones I didn't want to. I was speaking with a friend and I mentioned that I accidentally found some shows on HGTV to watch while doing my cardio so my time at the gym has significantly increased because it's easy to get involved in them and the next thing I know, the machine is cutting me off because I met the time limit. Can you tell what day that was?

July 5th stats: 132 calories, 1.60 miles, 30 minutes, level 4.

July 6th stats: 144 calories, 1.79 miles, 30 minutes, level 4.

July 7th stats: 71 calories, .80 miles, 15 minutes, level 4.
Circuit training.
67 calories, .81 miles, 15 minutes, level 4.

July 8th stats: 300 calories, 3.50 miles, 65 minutes, level 4.
113 calories, 1.40 miles, 26.43 minutes, level 3.
98 calories, 1.11 miles, 22 minutes, level 5.

July 9th stats: 300 calories, 3.50 miles, 65 minutes, level 4.
138 calories, 1.67 miles, 30 minutes, level 4.

July 10th stats: 168 calories, 2.06 miles, 35 minutes, level 4.
Circuit training.
112 calories, 1.35 miles, 25 minutes, level 4.

July 11th stats: 311 calories, 3.70 miles, 65 minutes, level 4.
120 calories, 1.42 miles, 25 minutes, level 5.

[easygoingfemme]

My "learn to row" program started this week and holy cow what a fantastic workout. Before we even get on the water it's 8 of us carrying a 200 lb boat up and off of racks, overhead, on shoulders, carry to the docks, putting it in the water. It's a tightly choreographed system from start to finish. I love it. And the rowing is amazing. I was in a funk after a stressful day at work yesterday but an hour later I was on a team rowing down the river with geese flying overhead and I was like... what was I upset about before? Not a clue. Then after rowing it's the same in reverse, lift the boat up our of water, pull overhead, down to shoulders, walk it up to the boathouse. My shoulders are pretty bruised up from it but I'm taking those bruises as swagger

[Kätzchen]

Got my gym membership switched over to my benefit gym membership (silver & fit), yesterday. It’s been a few moments (since early June), that I could access the gym. Tonight I’m going after work to start my workouts again: bar bells (arm rolls), rowing machine, recumbent bicycle; then join a few friends downstairs for a hip hop dance class. Can’t wait to go!! 😊

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Today I did my walking around the top floor of my house, bedroom-hallway-bedroom-hallway. Tedious, but I did it singing along with Whitney Houston.

[easygoingfemme]

Yesterday- rowing on the river on a very windy evening was an eventful and fun workout. We worked against current, heavy winds, and some wakes from large boats going by. We stayed upright and survived the experience and I loved every minute of it.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

The strength in my knees and hips is building back up. I can walk 4 steps without holding onto the walker. It's been awhile since I could walk without holding onto the walker or a wall or a rail.

[easygoingfemme]

I wanted to hike Hurricane Mountain this morning but thought I would wait for my mountain climbing buddy to come home from travelling for that one. So I went to Hang glider cliffs which is a 6 mile loop with some nice scenery and gorgeous views at the top. I'm glad I went early as it was very hot and buggy when I finished.

[easygoingfemme]

I was supposed to climb Black Mountain today with my climbing buddy for her birthday but she woke up awful sick so we are rescheduling. She was so bummed. So I climbed "fifth peak" in the Lake George Wilderness. Not the most exciting name but it was a heck of a climb. Very steep. Lovely views at the top. It is noted that it is also a home to a number of Rattle Snakes and thankfully I didn't come across any. The only time I really worried was one section where the trail was very narrow and running through a tall grassy area. Let's just say I hustled through that section. I think my legs will have something to say to me about all this tomorrow.

[Gráinne]

I just got back from taking my first Barre class. This is a kind of hybrid of ballet positions, weight training, lots (and lots) of crunch-like motions, and a lot (lots) of leg lifts with giant rubber bands. Halfway through, I thought, "this is a nope". Now, I feel great.

The instructor (who must have been 60 if a day) came flying over after the class to tell me how great I did! She was very nice and had no problems with me taking a break, or modifying whatever we were doing. It reminded me a bit of the jazz and modern dance I did in high school, and being on the dance team. I felt like one powerful sister back then, and so much more in touch with my body. I'm gonna go for that again.

Of course, I flew right to Orema's post about exercise and sex up at the top. Well, if that ain't motivation, what is?

[Kätzchen]

Happy Monday to everybody

Just thought I’d drop by and spill about my own exercise stuff. ☺️

I met a nice lady, older than me, at my gym and as we sat in the jacuzzi, she told me about her year long results of having joined our gym and how she improved her health and mobility. She went nightly to the pool aerobic class, which is only an hour long, but a bonafide workout. She lost over a hundred pounds, has no hanging skin on her body, and still goes nightly.

Her story and year long commitment inspires me to keep up the good fight for my own health.

I’ve only lost maybe ten pounds since August, but between going to the gym and committing to a no-sugar-whatsoever diet, I’m determined to win my battle for better mobility and a better looking body.

Cheers,

K.