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08-18-2011, 07:47 PM
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#1 |
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Dating women with children, any thoughts?
Anyone else out there that date women with children, teens or adult kids? Do their children accept you or have there been any problems? I ask due to finding myself possibly wanting to be with a woman who has kids, I am just asking for stories or experiences from others as opinions.
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08-18-2011, 07:59 PM
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#2 |
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On a site where there are women with kids your bound to bump into dating women with children. Her priorities are going to be her children, so keep that in mind and don't try to be their parent, you aren't. If and when she feels like your safe enough to be around her kids she'll let you know, but don't push it. That has been my experience with dating women with children.
Hope things work out for you, and welcome to the Planet.
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08-18-2011, 08:02 PM
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#3 |
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Ty for the welcome!!! and Thanks for posting I wasn't expecting a post so fast lol!
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08-18-2011, 08:11 PM
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#4 | |
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"Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them".
~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee) |
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08-18-2011, 08:12 PM
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#5 |
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As a woman who has children and who has dated/loved while raising children... (though mine are now 20, 21 & 22).
Just remember this - and hopefully she lives by this rule. The kids come first. The kids always have to come first. Depending on the ages of the kids -- Sex can be quite the challenge. So can dating. I can remember many a date or long weekend being cancelled due to illness, etc. You just have to always remain patient, loving and supportive. And for god sake (experience) don't ever try and buy the kids (presents, etc) - They might LOVE it, but they will not respect you. Good luck and take it slow. Kids are a wonderful wonderful gift -- but they can also be a challenge. Julie
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08-18-2011, 08:16 PM
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#6 |
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If you have a sports car, be prepared for handprints on the windows...
You are going to have to ask yourself how much you like kids, and if you don't like kids, then please don't date a woman with kids...
If you like them... Be patient, be kind, know that a woman should and will always place her children first no matter what and if she doesn't you may wanna rethink that person. Kids need to feel safe so don't be pushy, don't try to buy mom via the kids and most of all be ready for a roller coaster ride, kids are a like one of the most twisty, windy, up and down ride you have ever experienced but worth the wait in line.. Good luck!!!
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08-18-2011, 08:19 PM
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#7 |
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Oh yeah no presents thats a given and respect is earned even by kids correct?
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08-18-2011, 08:27 PM
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I always taught my kids this.
Actually, I felt it was important to keep them safe from predators. RESPECT is a two way street. You do NOT have to respect someone because they are an adult. Even ADULTS need to earn your respect and you need to earn theirs. Of course, being polite is a different story. Kids really are not puppies. They are complex little creatures with emotions and attachments. Sounds like a puppy -- except, you cannot leave them with just the water bowl filled. They require care and nurturing. And please... If you are looking for the romantic idea of instant family - don't. There is nothing romantic about children. While they are gifts in our lives, they are never to be taken lightly.
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08-18-2011, 08:30 PM
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I've had partners with youngenz before.
I had the fortune of being accepted by these awesome kids.  To co-parent thru potty training, teachers meetings, and yes...even fighting for full custody (we won!); those opportunities and experiences can never be replaced and I feel fortunate to have been able to be a part of their lives. The hardest part is when the relationship ends. Needless to say one of my Exes used the child as a pawn in attempt to reconcile. That was a no-no, and it only hurts the child. I have not seen her child in years now, which is sad. My other Ex never pulled that game, and I have seen how beautiful her daughter grew up to be. Anyway, if you are willing to be selfless and dedicate time and patience with the children that is great. Do not...ever feel jealousy over the Mom's love for the children. It is a different love that no one else can get in front of. Nor should they.  Wishing you well in your endeavors. 
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08-18-2011, 08:33 PM
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#10 |
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Thanks to all who have posted so far, I look forward to seeing more posts on this subject.
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08-18-2011, 08:42 PM
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#11 |
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As a parent of a now 21 yo, When she was younger, I never introduced mine to anyone I dated immediately. If I were dating today, I would not hesitate to introduce my date to her....she actually probably has a better incite to me than I do myself. For me, I would see a red flag if a person of interest to me wanted to introduce me to her child/ren.
There are many things to consider, especially because kids come 1st, if they don't....Again, Red Flag for me. Ageist as it sounds, at 54, I would not consider dating anyone with a pre-teen. That brings many things into play that I don't think I have the capacity to handle.....co-parenting would be a biggie in my book. Lots to consider...especially if you have no experience with kids. It can be done, it is just different than dating with no children. OSB
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08-18-2011, 08:45 PM
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#12 |
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I have been on both sides of this coin. I have an ex who demanded that I send my son to boarding school. Needless to say, within 20 seconds of that comment, she was gone. I have dated someone who liked hanging out with my kid more than me. I have also dated someone with kids. She had amazing kids, but she was not on the safe side to date. I think there are a lot of factors to consider, but I think it is wise to watch how she interacts with her child(ren). If she does not place them first, then I can safely say, she will never put you first at any point. If she is too protective, then the relationship will not blossom. It is a fine balance; everyone needs to be able to juggle while remaining as flexible as possible. There are certainly going to be challenging moments, but remember, they are just moments; they will pass. Also remember, there is nothing on earth like the love of a child. So be sincere, honest, respectable, trustworthy, and kind. You will get back all this and more from the mother and the child(ren).
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  now how can you ignore a dancing pink elephant? and how i so wish it would rain here.
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08-18-2011, 08:59 PM
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#13 |
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My wife had a beautiful 2 year old daughter when I met her. I still don't know which one I love more, or loves me more
 Of course you can get babysitters to go out and be alone like we did. But most of the time, our dates consisted of going on trips together,thezoo, museums, home movies and board games,trick or treating, teaching them stuff you learned, school things like sports/concerts, parent-teacher meetings, circuses, kids birthday parties, friends sleeping over, movies, eating out, malls, etc.
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08-18-2011, 09:02 PM
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#14 | |
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08-18-2011, 09:08 PM
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#15 | |
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Funny thing with kids is they come with another set of family besides the mother and the mother's side... That's something that is between them, you're not to speak ugly of other said parent in front of child for that is speaking ill of them. Teen agers aren't a picnic, they are one boundary setting after another, remember being one? They are going to push... It's part of their journey it's up to the parental units to set clear boundaries and lines of respect amongst the family unit..... You are coming into their family and have to remember they are going to let you in or not. Good Luck and be patient..
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08-18-2011, 09:12 PM
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#16 |
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Yup lots of patience and if I do go meet her she already told me I am meeting them. Just no clue on how to mingle with them and what they like to do except eat LOL.
Oh lawd me as a teenger, now that's another story in itself. |
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08-18-2011, 09:17 PM
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08-18-2011, 09:19 PM
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TO SOON FOR DAT!
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"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden |
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08-18-2011, 09:19 PM
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#19 | |
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08-18-2011, 09:21 PM
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#20 |
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I have a teenage son. I am very picky about who he meets. I most definitely would not introduce him to someone the first time I was meeting them myself. Perhaps I am over-protective. Usually I have to be seriously dating the person before introductions are made to any member of my family, for that matter. I figure that I need to know the person well and have a relationship (or intention of one) before I will take the risk of my son getting involved and possibly attached.
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