Preferences changing during transition

[SoberBoi]

It seems like 9 months of T has only helped me better understand that I am indeed homosexual. When I presented as female, I was attracted to cis-females... As I got older and presented as butch lesbian, I was attracted to butch lesbians. When my dysphoria increased, I was attracted to transgender females ("pre-FTM" lol).

When my Transition started, I was attracted to FTMs. Now, I am correctly gendered by society and I am STILL attracted to the same... I am attracted to gay guys, FTMs, and MTFs. I am now a bi-sexual guy in transition, attracted to cis-sexual gay guys and other people in transition.

I still don't understand cis-sexual females, makeup, how to work on a car, or why I have a beard growing on my throat that has trouble finding its way to my face, but... it is what it is...To thine own self be true.

Go figure... So many people get confused between orientation, presentation, and identification that I was lost in the shuffle myself. I am a homosexual.... coool. xox

I also want to point out that more may change too... I seem to no longer identify with lesbians because there seems to be an innate fear that they will incorrectly gender me. I dated someone who would refer to her ex-husband as a "real man"... that soured me greatly.... ex's are ex for a reason.

[cathexis]

Found this thread quite by accident while surfing the Trans forum. Topic is very interesting, though I approach it from a different angle.
Am in a D/s relationship which has strengthened as I move further away from being simply genderqueer towards transition to FTM.

My lover and Dominant has been actively encouraging my move further toward the masculine.

Believe that this is a valid topic for discussion. Hope others feel similarly.
Hence, I shall bump this post.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by SoberBoi

It seems like 9 months of T has only helped me better understand that I am indeed homosexual. When I presented as female, I was attracted to cis-females... As I got older and presented as butch lesbian, I was attracted to butch lesbians. When my dysphoria increased, I was attracted to transgender females ("pre-FTM" lol).

When my Transition started, I was attracted to FTMs. Now, I am correctly gendered by society and I am STILL attracted to the same... I am attracted to gay guys, FTMs, and MTFs. I am now a bi-sexual guy in transition, attracted to cis-sexual gay guys and other people in transition.

I still don't understand cis-sexual females, makeup, how to work on a car, or why I have a beard growing on my throat that has trouble finding its way to my face, but... it is what it is...To thine own self be true.

Go figure... So many people get confused between orientation, presentation, and identification that I was lost in the shuffle myself. I am a homosexual.... coool. xox

I also want to point out that more may change too... I seem to no longer identify with lesbians because there seems to be an innate fear that they will incorrectly gender me. I dated someone who would refer to her ex-husband as a "real man"... that soured me greatly.... ex's are ex for a reason.

I have read on social media of a number of FTMs (those on testosterone), say that they have found themselves attracted to cis males after starting testosterone, when they were only attracted to cis females prior to this.

The "thinking" (stated by both trans people and those of us who work with trans people...again, based on my experience), is that after people start living within their own gender, they can "loosen up", so to speak and travel to where they true desires lie. Prior to this they felt like in order to be a "man", they had to be attracted to females. Or they just assumed they were "lesbians" because they didn't have any words for what they felt (they were unaware of what transgender was).

I have not never/heard a change in sexual orientation/desire from FTMs who dated cis males prior to transition (still attracted to cis males only), nor a change from MTFs who dated males prior to transition (still attracted to cis males, only). I have heard of some cases of MTFs who were only attracted to cis females prior to transition having some attraction to cis males after transition (most often after having lower surgery).

The other caveat I would like to mention in this is that I have only seen the shift in sexual desire to cis males in young FTMs (early 20's). I have yet to experience a FTM 30ish+ (both in my practice and social media) who always dated cis females to start to be attracted to cis males.

FTMs and MTFs dating trans people after they start transition I have seen in different combinations. I see no pattern there.

Again, this is based on my heavy experience in social media trans groups and as a gender therapist for the past 12+ years. I have read no academic/research studies on any of this.

ETA: I have had no change in my desires in who I am attracted to and prefer to date. My preference is still geared towards queer femmes.

[Martina]

When I lived in Michigan, I knew an FTM who transitioned in his forties whose sexual orientation changed. He also changed from being one of those BDSM Tops who swore they had no interest in bottoming themselves to a boot licking Daddy's boy. He also had real issues with women. I often wondered if the switch from Top to bottom was what motivated the switch from women to men. I don't think he could imagine himself going down for a woman. He just didn't respect women enough.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Martina

When I lived in Michigan, I knew an FTM who transitioned in his forties whose sexual orientation changed. He also changed from being one of those BDSM Tops who swore they had no interest in bottoming themselves to a boot licking Daddy's boy. He also had real issues with women. I often wondered if the switch from Top to bottom was what motivated the switch from women to men. I don't think he could imagine himself going down for a woman. He just didn't respect women enough.

I have heard a couple of guys say that they switched from being a Top to being a bottom after they started medical transition. I can see where you're going with him switching from women to men. Lucky for the women if he was such a misogynist.

[Esme nha Maire]

Interesting! Can't say as HRT affected my sexuality one iota, but transitioning certainly made me feel a lot easier about about exploring my sexuality to find out what I truly feel comfy with.

[Liam]

I have been attracted to women since I was very young; a year ago, I met a gay cis male who really had me wondering if I had changed. We really clicked on so many levels, and he was a good communicator, which is terribly important to me. We went out for burgers, ball games, and movies - all non-sexual, and thoroughly delightful. We talked about what kind of relationship we wanted to have, and after 12 months, it felt like we had this amazing relationship, both of us capable of being vulnerable with each other, acknowledging our fears and concerns, a non-sexual intimacy that we both enjoyed. We decided to leave it at that, and it is wonderful to have a male friend, with whom I can talk about the hard stuff, and enjoy a burger and a movie, on a regular basis. Women still turn my crank, though.