Original Bad Prose or Stories! - Page 6

*Anya* · 01-29-2012, 10:49 AM

Empty house echos
New family, much laughter
now home once again

chai~ · 01-29-2012, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Empty house echos
New family, much laughter
now home once again

much too nice to be in the "bad" section!

Hollylane · 01-29-2012, 09:14 PM

Watching the pro game
But can't make the yapping stop
Mute is not working...

The JD · 01-30-2012, 12:31 AM

Mechanical hums
followed by bump bump bump bump.
Roomba trapped again.

WomenMoveMe · 01-30-2012, 01:27 AM

I wake, reluctant
Too cold to get out of bed
but I have to pee

Haikus are easy
but sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

Life is like a river
it winds and wends, ever flows
Should I give a dam?

chai~ · 01-30-2012, 06:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The JD

Mechanical hums
followed by bump bump bump bump.
Roomba trapped again.

oh my gawd!!! This made me snort my coffee!!! Bravo!

chai~ · 01-30-2012, 06:43 AM

cat across keyboard
belly typing looks like this
she ignores spell check

defrgthyjukil;

*Anya* · 01-30-2012, 08:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chai~

cat across keyboard
belly typing looks like this
she ignores spell check

defrgthyjukil;

Chai! This is great!

So happy to see you and JD join us

Yes, I realize that most of the recent additions (story in 6-words or less, haiku) strayed from the original intent of the thread.

All of the writing is still off-beat and quirky, so I feel it still fits in with the original intent: a place to write strictly for fun!

Feel free to write whatever you damn well please and I will continue to enjoy, as well as marvel, over the cleverness that I find in each one of you and your writing abilities

chai~ · 01-30-2012, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Chai! This is great!

So happy to see you and JD join us

Yes, I realize that most of the recent additions (story in 6-words or less, haiku) strayed from the original intent of the thread.

All of the writing is still off-beat and quirky, so I feel it still fits in with the original intent: a place to write strictly for fun!

Feel free to write whatever you damn well please and I will continue to enjoy, as well as marvel, over the cleverness that I find in each one of you and your writing abilities

*reading the title of the thread again*

Oh yeah, I guess it did stray!!!!

Quirky is good though!

Let the silliness commence!!

Great thread by the way!!!!

Hollylane · 02-01-2012, 12:22 PM

Taking the trash out
Stomp, shake, ouch! Dance Dance Dancing
Yikes! Ants near dumpster

Hollylane · 02-03-2012, 01:27 PM

The wind is blowing
Blue tarp in the neighbor’s yard
Time for more roof tires

Truly Scrumptious · 02-10-2012, 04:15 PM

(Disclaimer: this article is from The Onion)

DURHAM, NC--A study released Monday by Duke University's Center For The American Family confirmed what many child-development experts have asserted for years: Children whose parents are divorced are twice as likely to compose bad poetry as those whose parents are married.

"Because of the terrible trauma divorce can inflict, we're seeing a correlation between kids from broken homes and embarrassing, god-awful verse," said Dr. Ruth Wyler-Feldman, director of the Center For The American Family. "Devastated by the break-up of the family unit, these children are responding with poems awash in bathos, forced rhymes and mixed metaphors comparing their souls to rainstorms."

According to Wyler-Feldman, parental separation most often manifests itself in atrocious poems about isolation and anger.

"Just listen to the words of Ashley Bedrosian, a Pensacola, FL, 14-year-old whose parents split up last May after 17 years of marriage: 'The pain comes down like a harlequin's tears / From my room I can hear my parents screaming / What once was one heart now beats as two / From this nightmare I cannot awake, for I am not dreaming.'"

"Obviously, Ashley is bitter and heartbroken over her parents' divorce," Wyler-Feldman said. "And that's tragic, because what comes out of that bitterness and heartbreak is some of the worst poetry you'll ever hear."

The two-year study found that the rhyming of "despise" with "my eyes," as well as references to Trent Reznor and horses running wild and/or free, occur with 65 percent greater frequency in poems by children of divorced parents than in those by children from stable two-parent homes.

The Duke researchers also found a strong correlation between the nature of a particular divorce and quality of poetry. In 90 percent of divorces categorized as "amicable," the breakup results in rhyming poems, usually with irritating, "sing-songish" A-B-A-B rhyme schemes. The more acrimonious the split, however, the greater the odds of a child turning to other, more wretch-inducing poetic forms: Eighty-five percent of contested divorces end in free verse, the study found, and three in four divorces involving custody battles end in haiku.

"These children of divorce are really hurting," noted therapist Dr. Eli Wasserbaum said. "But not nearly as much as those of us forced to read this drivel."

Wasserbaum urged America's troubled couples to split up while their children are still very young. "If you have children who are, say, between the ages of three and nine, and you suspect you might not want to spend the rest of your life with your spouse, I would urge you to get divorced now," he said. "At least that way, your kids have a fighting chance to heal emotionally before they reach their prime poetry-writing teenage years, and we can all be spared reading about a beautiful rose that withers and dies because no sunlight ever fell upon it."

"The bottom line is, America's kids could be channeling their anger over the 'loss' of a parent into moving verse, but they're churning out melodramatic crap instead," said Dirk Fransette, director of the Young Writers' Workshop, a Brookline, MA, writing program for 13- to 18-year-olds. "If I have to read one more poem about a lighthouse, I am going to carve out my eyeballs."

The study has provoked strong reactions among young people nationwide. "You just don't understand," said Ethan Cameron, 14, of Salem, OR. Cameron, whose parents recently split up, self-publishes a literary website called Visitation Rites. Among the high-school freshman's poems: "Detention Of The Soul," "My Trenchcoat" and "Bruised."

"Saying that all our poetry is bad, well, it just isn't fair," said 15-year-old Melody Jeffords of Knoxville, TN, whose parents divorced when she was 13. "My parents and teachers just don't understand my pain. Or, as my new poem 'Trust' puts it: 'Who can you trust / With thoughts inside your head?/ You can't trust anyone / Unless they're already dead.'"

Wyler-Feldman said that while the Duke study has shed a great deal of light on the link between divorce and bad poetry, there is still much to be learned.

"So much is still unknown. For example, why so much thunder and lightning imagery? Why so many references to The Crow? And why the recent rise in short stories ending with alarm clocks ringing, revealing the entire story to be a dream? We must answer these crucial questions before we can ever hope to find a cure."

Hollylane · 02-15-2012, 12:59 PM

Morbid Flowers

Flowers arrived on Valentine's Day
Little pretty things, alive like zombies
After the snip, snip, snip, snipping
The aspirin in the water, is the embalming fluid.
The long cardboard delivery box, their coffin.

Hollylane · 02-15-2012, 03:33 PM

The train to nowhere arrived unscheduled...

*Anya* · 02-15-2012, 03:34 PM

It was alive when
she was here, now she is gone
Feels dead once again
**************************

Had to put my butch
on the airplane to no. CA
One more time, hate it

Hollylane · 02-18-2012, 01:16 PM

What isn’t, couldn’t
And what is, will always be
Are you confused yet?

PrivateeroftheDeep · 02-18-2012, 01:34 PM

When darkness calls
No one to answer the ring
The Sun is still shining
Could this be Spring?

Hollylane · 03-02-2012, 09:54 PM

Story in 6 words or less...

It was not, yet it was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a storm, roof gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haiku

Drama was her life
But her stories a big flop
Still, violin plays...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peanut butter scoop
Stuck to the roof of my mouth
Might add spoon of jam

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A fly speck on life
Microscopic insect poop
Doesn't change my truth

The JD · 03-02-2012, 10:09 PM

Sniff, and sniff again.
Is it popcorn or fritos?
Odor de Dog Feet.

Hollylane · 05-05-2012, 04:47 PM

05/04/12

Dear Brian,

And I say again, there was nothing in the water. I chose to be here, in this time, this place and in this sweat stained booth eating these metallic tasting tacos. Artificial cheese on my tacos de sesos...is still better than the Velveeta cheese you fed me.

I want a redo, because I wasn't prepared when you were pouring the cervezas down my throat for what followed. I don't have to make sense to you, I understand me just fine. This letter is about you and not the tacos.

Cheers, I'm going back to the bar,

Senorita Drinko De Mayo

01-29-2012, 10:49 AM	#101
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,791 Times in 7,290 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Haiku you Empty house echos New family, much laughter now home once again __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

01-30-2012, 12:31 AM	#104
The JD Be the Fearless Bunny How Do You Identify?: Hers. Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: Medusa’s Snake Charmer Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: This must be the place. Posts: 649 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,740 Thanked 2,686 Times in 540 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	Inspired by housekeeping in the modern age.... Mechanical hums followed by bump bump bump bump. Roomba trapped again. __________________ I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it. ~Flannery O'Connor

02-10-2012, 04:15 PM	#112
Truly Scrumptious Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: She's my mirror twin, my next of kin Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Entre Lajeunesse et la sagesse Posts: 667 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,047 Thanked 1,855 Times in 564 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Study: Children of divorce twice as likely to write bad poetry (Disclaimer: this article is from The Onion) DURHAM, NC--A study released Monday by Duke University's Center For The American Family confirmed what many child-development experts have asserted for years: Children whose parents are divorced are twice as likely to compose bad poetry as those whose parents are married. "Because of the terrible trauma divorce can inflict, we're seeing a correlation between kids from broken homes and embarrassing, god-awful verse," said Dr. Ruth Wyler-Feldman, director of the Center For The American Family. "Devastated by the break-up of the family unit, these children are responding with poems awash in bathos, forced rhymes and mixed metaphors comparing their souls to rainstorms." According to Wyler-Feldman, parental separation most often manifests itself in atrocious poems about isolation and anger. "Just listen to the words of Ashley Bedrosian, a Pensacola, FL, 14-year-old whose parents split up last May after 17 years of marriage: 'The pain comes down like a harlequin's tears / From my room I can hear my parents screaming / What once was one heart now beats as two / From this nightmare I cannot awake, for I am not dreaming.'" "Obviously, Ashley is bitter and heartbroken over her parents' divorce," Wyler-Feldman said. "And that's tragic, because what comes out of that bitterness and heartbreak is some of the worst poetry you'll ever hear." The two-year study found that the rhyming of "despise" with "my eyes," as well as references to Trent Reznor and horses running wild and/or free, occur with 65 percent greater frequency in poems by children of divorced parents than in those by children from stable two-parent homes. The Duke researchers also found a strong correlation between the nature of a particular divorce and quality of poetry. In 90 percent of divorces categorized as "amicable," the breakup results in rhyming poems, usually with irritating, "sing-songish" A-B-A-B rhyme schemes. The more acrimonious the split, however, the greater the odds of a child turning to other, more wretch-inducing poetic forms: Eighty-five percent of contested divorces end in free verse, the study found, and three in four divorces involving custody battles end in haiku. "These children of divorce are really hurting," noted therapist Dr. Eli Wasserbaum said. "But not nearly as much as those of us forced to read this drivel." Wasserbaum urged America's troubled couples to split up while their children are still very young. "If you have children who are, say, between the ages of three and nine, and you suspect you might not want to spend the rest of your life with your spouse, I would urge you to get divorced now," he said. "At least that way, your kids have a fighting chance to heal emotionally before they reach their prime poetry-writing teenage years, and we can all be spared reading about a beautiful rose that withers and dies because no sunlight ever fell upon it." "The bottom line is, America's kids could be channeling their anger over the 'loss' of a parent into moving verse, but they're churning out melodramatic crap instead," said Dirk Fransette, director of the Young Writers' Workshop, a Brookline, MA, writing program for 13- to 18-year-olds. "If I have to read one more poem about a lighthouse, I am going to carve out my eyeballs." The study has provoked strong reactions among young people nationwide. "You just don't understand," said Ethan Cameron, 14, of Salem, OR. Cameron, whose parents recently split up, self-publishes a literary website called Visitation Rites. Among the high-school freshman's poems: "Detention Of The Soul," "My Trenchcoat" and "Bruised." "Saying that all our poetry is bad, well, it just isn't fair," said 15-year-old Melody Jeffords of Knoxville, TN, whose parents divorced when she was 13. "My parents and teachers just don't understand my pain. Or, as my new poem 'Trust' puts it: 'Who can you trust / With thoughts inside your head?/ You can't trust anyone / Unless they're already dead.'" Wyler-Feldman said that while the Duke study has shed a great deal of light on the link between divorce and bad poetry, there is still much to be learned. "So much is still unknown. For example, why so much thunder and lightning imagery? Why so many references to The Crow? And why the recent rise in short stories ending with alarm clocks ringing, revealing the entire story to be a dream? We must answer these crucial questions before we can ever hope to find a cure."

02-15-2012, 03:33 PM	#114
Hollylane Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: . Posts: 11,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,694 Thanked 26,373 Times in 5,877 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Six word story... The train to nowhere arrived unscheduled...

02-15-2012, 03:34 PM	#115
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,791 Times in 7,290 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Sad Haiku Day It was alive when she was here, now she is gone Feels dead once again ************************** Had to put my butch on the airplane to no. CA One more time, hate it __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

01-29-2012, 09:14 PM	#103
Hollylane Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: . Posts: 11,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,694 Thanked 26,373 Times in 5,877 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Watching the pro game But can't make the yapping stop Mute is not working...

01-30-2012, 01:27 AM	#105
WomenMoveMe Member How Do You Identify?: I just wander about and be! Relationship Status: Caution: Dead End Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Kentucky Posts: 561 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,473 Thanked 2,101 Times in 417 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	I wake, reluctant Too cold to get out of bed but I have to pee Haikus are easy but sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator Life is like a river it winds and wends, ever flows Should I give a dam?

01-30-2012, 06:43 AM	#107
chai~ Member How Do You Identify?: Self possessed Aquarian Preferred Pronoun?: Don't call me baby~ Relationship Status: Deliciously single and loving it. Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: lotus land Posts: 1,173 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,937 Thanked 3,383 Times in 864 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	cat across keyboard belly typing looks like this she ignores spell check defrgthyjukil;

02-01-2012, 12:22 PM	#110
Hollylane Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: . Posts: 11,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,694 Thanked 26,373 Times in 5,877 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Taking the trash out Stomp, shake, ouch! Dance Dance Dancing Yikes! Ants near dumpster

02-03-2012, 01:27 PM	#111
Hollylane Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: . Posts: 11,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,694 Thanked 26,373 Times in 5,877 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	The wind is blowing Blue tarp in the neighbor’s yard Time for more roof tires

02-15-2012, 12:59 PM	#113
Hollylane Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: . Posts: 11,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,694 Thanked 26,373 Times in 5,877 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Morbid Flowers Flowers arrived on Valentine's Day Little pretty things, alive like zombies After the snip, snip, snip, snipping The aspirin in the water, is the embalming fluid. The long cardboard delivery box, their coffin.

02-18-2012, 01:16 PM	#116
Hollylane Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: . Posts: 11,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,694 Thanked 26,373 Times in 5,877 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	What isn’t, couldn’t And what is, will always be Are you confused yet?

02-18-2012, 01:34 PM	#117
PrivateeroftheDeep Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Note from Admin: JakeTulane (again) Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: New Jersey Posts: 82 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 135 Thanked 68 Times in 33 Posts Rep Power: 0	I think I get this? When darkness calls No one to answer the ring The Sun is still shining Could this be Spring?

03-02-2012, 09:54 PM	#118
Hollylane Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: . Posts: 11,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,694 Thanked 26,373 Times in 5,877 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Anya inspired :) Story in 6 words or less... It was not, yet it was. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There was a storm, roof gone. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Haiku Drama was her life But her stories a big flop Still, violin plays... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Peanut butter scoop Stuck to the roof of my mouth Might add spoon of jam ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A fly speck on life Microscopic insect poop Doesn't change my truth

03-02-2012, 10:09 PM	#119
The JD Be the Fearless Bunny How Do You Identify?: Hers. Preferred Pronoun?: he Relationship Status: Medusa’s Snake Charmer Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: This must be the place. Posts: 649 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,740 Thanked 2,686 Times in 540 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	haiku Sniff, and sniff again. Is it popcorn or fritos? Odor de Dog Feet. __________________ I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it. ~Flannery O'Connor

05-05-2012, 04:47 PM	#120
Hollylane Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: . Posts: 11,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,694 Thanked 26,373 Times in 5,877 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	05/04/12 Dear Brian, And I say again, there was nothing in the water. I chose to be here, in this time, this place and in this sweat stained booth eating these metallic tasting tacos. Artificial cheese on my tacos de sesos...is still better than the Velveeta cheese you fed me. I want a redo, because I wasn't prepared when you were pouring the cervezas down my throat for what followed. I don't have to make sense to you, I understand me just fine. This letter is about you and not the tacos. Cheers, I'm going back to the bar, Senorita Drinko De Mayo