Phone and Text Etiquette - Your Opinion?

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Breathless

>>snip<<<

...and there are some places the phone is not welcome - like public bathrooms.

Bathroom talkers!!

OMFG!

They are the absolute worst!

First of all, I just cringe to have someone in a stall next to me, doing their (loud) business while on the phone!!

It is as though they could care less who hears their entire conversation in the totally not-private bathroom, but secondly, what about the person on the other end of the phone??

Oh for the peace and quiet of a no-cell public bathroom!!

This is when I curse the invention!

[theoddz]

LOL.....my friend, 'Dusa, brought this out for discussion, bless her heart!!!!

Now she, and everyone else, gets to hear MY rant!!!!

First off, let me say this: First and foremost, I am a curmudgeon. Born and raised. I detest phones, period. That said, let us proceed.

1. How do you feel about people face-timing you without warning or appointment? Does it depend on who's doing it? No one does this with me. My wife must sneak up on me when she's FT'ing our granddaughter, and that I don't mind. The secret is in the "approach". Anyone else?? It's a non-starter.

2. How do you feel when people call or text you during work or school hours?
I'm retired now, but I cling to consistency and old habits, soooo...Historically, I NEVER, EVER answered my phone at work, unless it was from my wife or a close family member. I have always made it crystal clear to everyone close to me that I do NOT "chat" at work. In my profession (Respiratory Therapist in a busy hospital setting), I was "on the clock" and expected to be working with my patients, teaching my students, conducting inservice education with peers or attending to Union matters (on break time, or "official" time), as a Union Steward. I kept my phone on me at work, in order to make myself available for work matters (we had only numerical pagers for a long time, until the VA brought in Vocera), and I hardly EVER gave or give my cell number to anyone but close family.


3. Do you enjoy having long conversations by text? Why or why not? No, I'm busy and find texting, particularly long texting, to be a waste of time. If I have something in depth to talk about, that is what the phone is for.

4. How do you feel about someone calling you over and over within a short period if you don't answer? How about if the person calls you every day even though you aren't answering? Oh HELL NO!!! Want to make me turn the damned phone off??? Just call me repeatedly and that's exactly what I'll do. I used this phone on MY terms, not yours. I pay the damned bill and it is for MY convenience.

5. How do you feel if someone calls or texts you while you are on vacation or at an important event? I ignore the call (after making sure it's not from close family), and then either turn the phone off or silence the ringer. Don't bother leaving a voice mail. I won't ever hear it (I never set it up on my cell phone). Those who know me know to call my house line and leave a message on my answering machine.

6. How early or late do you think is appropriate to call or text someone?
9 PM This was drilled into me, as a child. My parents allowed phone calls up to 9 PM. Any calls after that will be screened (answering machine) or unanswered, depending on the message that is left. Immediate things rate an immediate call back, while other matters can either be ignored or responded to the next day.

7. How do you feel about group texting?
Nope, I don't get into that at all. Leave me out of it. Better yet, if it is important, send it to my wife's phone, as she's more likely (and lots more friendly) to see it than I am.

Again, please tell me all about your views on phone etiquette! I'd love to hear from you folks! Call at a decent hour and try not to be offended if I happen to not answer, and don't get right back to you, unless there's an "immediate" matter. Sometimes, I feel like answering/talking, but most of the time, I don't. Keep that in mind. I am not Pavlov's dog and just because the phone rings doesn't mean I have an inherent obligation to answer it.

~Theo~
__________________

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Bathroom talkers!!

OMFG!

They are the absolute worst!

First of all, I just cringe to have someone in a stall next to me, doing their (loud) business while on the phone!!

It is as though they could care less who hears their entire conversation in the totally not-private bathroom, but secondly, what about the person on the other end of the phone??

Oh for the peace and quiet of a no-cell public bathroom!!

This is when I curse the invention!

Not to mention they are schmearing their bathroom germs all over the phone which gets schmeared all over their face and very few of those folks, in my personal experience, seem to care about washing their hands afterwards too.

Total ick fest.

[Chained Daisy]

How do you feel about people face-timing you without warning or appointment? Does it depend on who's doing it?

Thats a no no for me.

How do you feel when people call or text you during work or school hours?

I have a separate work phone.

Do you enjoy having long conversations by text? Why or why not?

Not long conversations no, texting is too laborious and limiting, I prefer face to face or a least a phone call, texts are great for a quick update though.

How do you feel about someone calling you over and over within a short period if you don't answer? How about if the person calls you every day even though you aren't answering?

This drives me crazy and they can be sure for a terse response, its just bad manners.

How do you feel if someone calls or texts you while you are on vacation or at an important event?

Again bad manners though it would be my own fault for not turning my phone off if I was at an important event.

How early or late do you think is appropriate to call or text someone?

Not before 8 in the morning and not after 10 at night, but I always keep in mind peoples schedule as far as I can.

How do you feel about group texting?

Hate it !

[dark_crystal]

How do you feel about people face-timing you without warning or appointment? Does it depend on who's doing it?

I will always face-time with my family or partner

How do you feel when people call or text you during work or school hours?

Texting is fine but don't be like my sister and start texting your speculations about bizarre situations that i just MUST be in the middle of (drowning in toilet, etc), if i take too long to reply

Do you enjoy having long conversations by text? Why or why not?

I don't mind as long as there is no snippiness about length of time between replies

How do you feel about someone calling you over and over within a short period if you don't answer? How about if the person calls you every day even though you aren't answering?

Somebody better be dead

How do you feel if someone calls or texts you while you are on vacation or at an important event?

Someone better be dead or sharing something extremely juicy and/or hilarious

How early or late do you think is appropriate to call or text someone?

8 am to 10 pm unless i was following you to the next bar or party and haven't arrived

How do you feel about group texting?

depends on size of group and relevance of topic at hand

Other: i pretend not to understand how facebook messenger works but my twitter mentions are lit

[Lyte]

What an excellent topic! It wasn't so long ago that the only way we could communicate with one another was phone, letter or face to face. Maybe it's cuz I'm a Gemini or just plain chatty... but I do miss those days! Communication has become so ... impersonal... and complicated!

Originally Posted by Medusa

How do you feel about people face-timing you without warning or appointment? Does it depend on who's doing it?

Never done it... sounds rude... wouldn't like it at all. Sounds like someone just walking through your front door and being caught in your PJs! lol Only exception might be for the girlfriend.

Originally Posted by Medusa

How do you feel when people call or text you during work or school hours?

Feel free... I don't have to answer. Now, if you give me grief about it ... and I've previously explained that I can't take a call/text while at work... that would become a problem.

I've many times had a friend call for the sole purpose of leaving me a message. <-- that's cool! Curious thing re: leaving messages... I've a few "younger" friends who say they do not like leavings messages. They say they don't know what to say ... it makes them feel weird. lol <-- I find that to be weird but then again I grew up with everyone having a home phone and a recorder. Oy... I'm getting old!

Originally Posted by Medusa

Do you enjoy having long conversations by text? Why or why not?

If by "long conversation" you mean the topic of the conversation is deep... meaningful... emotional... thoughtful... etc... then absolutely not. I won't do it and my friends know I won't do it. More than a few times I've said "That's a topic for a phone chat."

I don't do it one... because it's friggin' tedious! iol If I'm trying to explain something of a more complex nature then I've got to text 300 words that might 20 spoken words. Ugh!! And two... I want to be understood and I want to understand what's being said. Between 80% - 90% of understanding/communication (depending on which studies you read) is obtained visually, the rest comes from tone and the words we choose. Through text we're trying to understand/communicate in the worst possible way. <-- which is why emoticons are so popular.

Originally Posted by Medusa

How do you feel about someone calling you over and over within a short period if you don't answer?

Unless it's something urgent... it's not cool. People need to be given the opportunity/space to respond when they are ready to do so.

Originally Posted by Medusa

How about if the person calls you every day even though you aren't answering?

If someone calls me several days in a row and I'm not responding ... it's going to be one of the following: I'm ignoring them ... not something I'd do but I guess it's an option! lol Or, I'm not able to pick up when they call working ... sleeping... whatever. Or I've been hit by a beer truck ... in which case, keep calling!! If the reason is the first or second... we'd have to have a talk <-- isn't that sort of ironic! lol

Originally Posted by Medusa

How do you feel if someone calls or texts you while you are on vacation or at an important event?

Depends on the person and the reason. I have a rule that I will not call or text someone who's on vacation. If they want to interact with me then they'll have to initiate and I will happily respond. I'm very aware of not disturbing someone's "down time." I would want the same courtesy and would let them know if I'm going to be out of reach. If they call/text when I'm not wanting calls or texts then it's up to me to decide to respond or ignore.

Originally Posted by Medusa

How early or late do you think is appropriate to call or text someone?

This is an interesting question because when I lived in CA it was fine to call someone up to about 10pm. When I moved to TX my friends told me almost as soon as I arrived not to call anyone after 8pm! As for what's appropriate... appropriate is whatever is communicated. I don't mind text up to 10pm and now I've grown accustomed to no phone calls after 8pm.

Originally Posted by Medusa

How do you feel about group texting?

Only cool when someone's trying to plan a group function or needs to communicate something that would be tedious to communicate one at a time... such as a birth, death or wedding. Random stuff... what you had for lunch??? No thanks!

Originally Posted by Medusa

Again, please tell me all about your views on phone etiquette! I'd love to hear from you folks!

Ultimately... how we like to communicate needs to be communicated! It's every person's responsibility to let others know their boundaries and to then hold others accountable (if only by hitting IGNORE) should those boundaries be crossed. I do believe there are general DOs/DONTs but the reality is that with all the different ways in which we can reach one anther ... there are no hard and fast rules anymore.

[RockOn]

If someone puts me on hold to take another call, I have a one minute rule. I hang up if the person doesn't come back in a minute.

I hate phones but they are a necessity.

[Tuff Stuff]

How do you feel about people face-timing you without warning or appointment? Does it depend on who's doing it?
I have no problem with it.

How do you feel when people call or text you during work or school hours?

If it's family I will answer.But they know not to text me unless there's no other alternative..and it better be an emergency.

Do you enjoy having long conversations by text? Why or why not?

I hate texting..don't ever fucking text me, EVER!

How do you feel about someone calling you over and over within a short period if you don't answer? How about if the person calls you every day even though you aren't answering?

If I don't feel like talking,whoever is calling will not get an answer,period.My smartphone rings three times then goes straight to voicemail,which is not set up.

How do you feel if someone calls or texts you while you are on vacation or at an important event?

Same,i won't answer.

How early or late do you think is appropriate to call or text someone?

Call me by appointment only, won't matter if it's early or late..I'll answer it.


How do you feel about group texting?

Oh hell no.

[Femmewench]

I am a phone luddite. I had a flip phone for emergencies which was replaced by a smart phone last year. This was done under protest but since I had a 92 year old father and a 5 year old child whose schedule I was trying to coordinate with my then-wife, I got talked into a smart phone. I do not understand why people text when they have a phone in their hands.

How do you feel about people face-timing you without warning or appointment? Does it depend on who's doing it? I've not face-timed and only skyped 3 times. If you do either without a preset time agreed to by me, you'll never reach me.

How do you feel when people call or text you during work or school hours? I didn't give my work number to anyone but my spouse, my dad's assisted living facility and my niece's school. My cell phone stayed in my purse. If it rang, I didn't hear it. When I got the smart phone, I wasn't working.

Do you enjoy having long conversations by text? Why or why not? No. Takes too long. I'd much rather talk on the phone.
How do you feel about someone calling you over and over within a short period if you don't answer? How about if the person calls you every day even though you aren't answering? This hasn't happened. Were it to happen, that number would be blocked. I will double check messages to determine no one I know/love has died or been in a horrible accident.

How do you feel if someone calls or texts you while you are on vacation or at an important event? My cell phone is off for important events. My father has died and I am no longer responsible for my niece.Some of my vacations are spent in southern California where a lot of family lives, so I expect calls then.

How early or late do you think is appropriate to call or text someone? For standard chat - 8 AM to 9 PM

How do you feel about group texting? Worked for Las Vegas. The only other group chat I was part of required me to learn how to remove myself from group chat.

Again, please tell me all about your views on phone etiquette!
-Because I am rarely the only other person in a restroom when someone feels it is necessary to be on their cell phone, I haven't blown a whistle to disrupt the phone call.
-I have called out people in a group dining together both in homes and restaurants when I know they weren't on-call and didn't have children. There's no other excuse to be checking email or texts - well, work emergencies qualify.
-I love watching men in grocery aisles describing what they're seeing to their spouse who has sent them shopping.
-I do not love people in any setting other than their homes making/receiving phone calls which do not pertain to their current situation. I don't want to know you child is failing math, your date sucked, you sucked your date (yes, I've heard that,) your parents suck or anything else that isn't any of my business.
-Please, please, please turn down the radio, stereo, tv volume when you answer the phone. Just because the volume is on 6 doesn't mean it's not loud on my end of the call.

I finally got a specific ring tone which I was sure I would always know was my phone: Come on Eileen (yes, my name.) Sadly, at a recent gathering someone I had just met had to ask me if that was my phone ringing: it was. I think I still don't want to be that accessible whether I know it or not.

[imperfect_cupcake]

I am really curious what folks think about texting and phone call etiquette.

Feel free to talk about whatever you want but I'm super curious about the following things:

How do you feel about people face-timing you without warning or appointment? Does it depend on who's doing it?

I'm on android. Never happens.

How do you feel when people call or text you during work or school hours?

Oh fine. I can't answer texts or calls while I work. So I feel fine about it. They can call or text if they want. But anyone who knows me more than five minutes knows I'm an RMT and can't answer texts or calls in work hours. On very rare occasions I might be able to return a text, but I can't have a conversation by text - so you best put all info in one text like an email and I'll get to you if I can.

Do you enjoy having long conversations by text? Why or why not?
Most of the time no. If it's me and a close mate goofing around making stupid quips and jokes and bantering for an hour via text, sure. If I'm trying to make plans with someone or have an actual proper information exchange with real depth, no fucking way. It irritates the living hell out of me.

And I hate that the conversation will start at 9am.... and very... slowly... continue... every 30-40 minutes... till... at 2pm... it is... finished. When a 5 minute phone call could have sufficed. That drives me fucking spare.

How do you feel about someone calling you over and over within a short period if you don't answer? How about if the person calls you every day even though you aren't answering?

calling me over and over within a short time period?? No, only people who ever did that aren't in my life.

I don't talk to anyone, save my mum, whom I'm a carer for, every day. No one else I talk to every day. If they want to call me every day and I'm not answering, are they leaving a message? Why the hell are they calling every day?

How do you feel if someone calls or texts you while you are on vacation or at an important event?

It is my responsibility to keep that in check myself, no one else. How would everyone know I'm on vacation or at an event? I do what I do at work and turn my damn phone off/onto "no interruptions save mum"

How early or late do you think is appropriate to call or text someone?

Anytime. That's what the programing thing is for on the phone. I set it at night so that the only call that can disturb me is on that is placed twice in a row, within 3 minutes of each other. Or it's my mum. The rest are silent and just go to messaging.

You can text anytime you want, 4am. I'm alseep and my phone is on silent except for emergency calls, my alarm, and my mum. Text your brains out. Isn't that the whole point of texting? You have a *CHOICE* about when to answer or read it?

How do you feel about group texting?

I've used it when needed. Usually it's work related, but sometimes it's planning social events. Not fond of it but without it life would be harder.

[Esme nha Maire]

Originally Posted by Medusa

I am really curious what folks think about texting and phone call etiquette.

Feel free to talk about whatever you want but I'm super curious about the following things:

How do you feel about people face-timing you without warning or appointment? Does it depend on who's doing it?

How do you feel when people call or text you during work or school hours?

Do you enjoy having long conversations by text? Why or why not?

How do you feel about someone calling you over and over within a short period if you don't answer? How about if the person calls you every day even though you aren't answering?

How do you feel if someone calls or texts you while you are on vacation or at an important event?

How early or late do you think is appropriate to call or text someone?

How do you feel about group texting?

Again, please tell me all about your views on phone etiquette! I'd love to hear from you folks!

I hadn't heard the term 'face-timing' before - I am guessing that this means a video call. Can't be done to me, as I do not have internet access on my phone - I simply do not require it. But if I did have such access, anyone starting such a call had better have an emergency for me to deal with, or face my extreme wrath.

Phoning during work or college hours is a no-no unless it's an emergency. Friends simply do not do this to me. Companies that do so get cut off, or, if I'm in a situation where I can do so, I may give a short verbal response and then cut them off. Depends on the impression given by teh caller in teh first few seconds as to whether I'm polite or not.

Long conversations by text - it depends very much on the conversation. Some can be enjoyable, some can be infuriating - but if the latter, I tend to cut them short pretty durned quickly. Email is a better medium for long textual conversations, but I can only do email when at a PC. (no phone internet!)

No-one has ever called me over and over in a short period when I don't answer aside from sales people. My response is to switch my phone off for a while, or alternatively, switch it on but make no response, or, if I'm feeling impish, switch it on and do things like heavy breathing, nose-blowing, blow a whistle close to the phone, chatter in gibberish, answer in German or French (and switch languages if they do to match, with gibberish as fallback), or leave the phone near a radio or other source of music/noise. I will sometimes report such harassment to the authorities.

I have no opinion on group texting - what is your problem with it? I havent experienced it, that I know of, and have only texted to a group a handful of times, mostly when I've been ill, to update friends on how I'm doing.

Contact whilst I'm on holiday is reasonable, if it ls friends. Salespeople should always but ALWAYS expect a hostile audience and at best a non-response. Salespeople unlucky enough to get me when I have time on my hands and feeling creative be warned that you are imperilling your equilibrium if not your sanity. 'An important event' - text only, please, no calls.

No earlier than 9am, no later than 10pm, unless it's an emergency or you know I'm up and about anyway.

[*Anya*]

I >>>>super-snipped<<<< and am quoting a sentence in Tuff Stuff's response:

"...my smartphone rings 3 times, then goes straight to voice mail, which is not set up".

This absolutely cracks me up.

It reminds me of work. We get tons of client calls. Many are angry, yelling and overall upset.

They say: "I've called 5 times and nobody ever calls me back".

I do call them back.

It is usually within a week, or, if I have time that day, they get a same day return call.

9 times out of 10, when I call them the phone has the following message: 1. The mailbox is full and is unable to accept messages; 2. This voice mail has not yet been set up. Or, my favorite: 3. This number is not accepting any calls".