Butches Cruel Joke?? *The Change*

[Scorp]

Hey Strappie,

I feel your pain buddy. I'm actually going through peri-menopause and speaking openly about my situation here.

So you don't feel bad posting in here, I'll share my story which is a little more complicated.

I have poly cystic ovaries which started in my mid 30’s. I’ll be 46 in a few months. They also found about 6 years ago that I have endometriosis so I’m tripled whammied. I would get "the devil" (as you put it) off and on and then didn’t get one for 3 or 4 years. I thought it was awesome not getting one and loved every minute of it! Little did I know it’s dangerous for me to NOT get one at my age.

I ‘ve been seeing an Endocrinologist every 6 months for the past 10 years for my PCOS. I already have a natural high volume of testosterone in my body and moreso my hormones are already fucked up because of all of the above. A long time ago they put me on birth control (imagine me on birth control, how funny is that!) to have my evil monthly friend regulated. Bottom line at that time I was told that I was too young to NOT be having a visit from Auntie Flo which put me at high risk for uterine cancer.

My understanding is that my maternal grandmother went through the change of life at 36 years old. Because of that, there was a good chance that I was having an early change too, so I had a blood test done to see if that was the case (that was about 3 years ago and it came back negative). I recently had another test done 2 months ago and again it came back negative.

My body just hasn’t felt right as the years go on and I notice more and more things. Needless to say, I’m not going through the change right now. I have hot flashes and my mood swings can be occasionally bad. A lot of it also has to do with the progesterone I have to take the first 10 days of each month in order to get Auntie Flo and it sucks! I’m already a hot blooded ginzo and this adds to it. Within 8 days of taking it, I feel the rage throughout my body more so than the norm. At one point and time Julie would say “Here we go, it’s roid rage time”. When I feel myself get like this, I usually give her a heads up and apologize ahead of time and ask that she bear with me if I’m a loose cannon. Thankfully she’s understanding and so supporting. I’m blessed with having her I tell you that (more ways than one).

In any case, you’re not alone with stuff, remember, we were born women and this is how it goes. You have support here so don’t feel uncomfy talking about it in here. We know you’re that big ole strappin’ butch So just hang in there buddy and make that appointment to get checked. It will put you in the clear of things and also for piece of mind.

Keep us posted and good luck!

Originally Posted by Strappie

The tears at the drop of a hat, the sweats (not just at night mind you) The mood swings god I feel like I'm losing my mind..... Menopause

I mean growing up finding myself as a "female identified Butch" was in it self a hard thing to grow into. Walking into a women's bathroom and being told "sir you are in the wrong bathroom", I was mortified as a young adult to hear that and it still happens to me on a wkly basis. I'm better equipped to handle those words now at my age. But Menopause, god help me!

Lets not forget how I as a Butch tried to say the words Menstrual Cycle it just wouldn't come out of this mouth so I came up with my own word for it the "devil" The things that little thing does to a Butch every month is painstakingly hard to accept at a young age, hell even now. It's as if it's been a cruel joke for us Butches, Ftm's and anyone else that does not identify as femme.

I have been putting off going to the Doctor for a very long time and well I know I have to swallow my pride and go. Because if I don't I may just lose my friends, family and possibly my job because of my emotions. Ok it's really not that bad but holy cats I can't stop crying.. lol I love my friends dearly and they know I'm going through this but I don't think they understand what it's "really" doing to me as far as my masculinity.

Do any other Butches think it's a cruel joke?

The mind games it plays on a butch, I can't even describe or put into words the mind games it plays.