Important things I learned from past relationships

[Beloved]

Originally Posted by Sachita

If the connection doesnt flow naturally then its best to walk away.

I struggle with this or some version of it. I try and try and try probably far longer than I should because relationships take work. I guess there needs to be some balance but I don't know exactly what that is.

[juliebrave]

I learned:
Not everything that is asked of me is in effort to control me
I can be very mean
I can be very loving
I can love someone very powerfully
My models were horrible
I can be a better model for my children
Love does not go away when the relationship ends

[~ocean]

hmmm past realtionahips .. 1 very importatnt lesson , theres no right way to break up, only a way to forgive, both of urselves , u cant change what happened, learn to live w/ the respect of the love u once felt, hating only makes u bitter and makes u uglyyyyy.. I'm way to vain for that ~~

[Girl_On_Fire]

Great thread topic!

I've actually learned quite a lot from past relationships. One, if I'm attracted to you, you're probably in desperate need of being fixed. lol! *shrugs* Maybe that's not fair but it is a pattern with me.

Alright, let's see...I have learned from past relationships:

• That I am incredibly strong and resourceful
• That I have a great deal of patience
• Being a healer truly is my calling
• Love can completely blind me
• I deserve better
• I see the world differently than others
• I could never have stayed as innocent and naive as I was and live
• I've got mean left hook (Yeah, I defended myself that night)
• My family truly loves me

That last one is the most valuable lesson an ex has ever taught me. That my family, despite the fact they didn't understand me in childhood, would defend me with their lives and actually missed me when I was gone for over 2 years. Up until recently, I thought I was merely tolerated.

I've never had a stronger bond with my friends and family as I do now and I'm grateful for every moment with them. I've learned priorities. I've also learned I'm very much a loan wolf. I've always functioned better out of a relationship than in one. Perhaps some day that will change but for now, I'm very content right where I am.

[Glenn]

Anytime anyone is kissing your ass when you have'nt done anything for them yet, you should be very suspicious.

[Ginger]

I learned that breaking up is a natural part of the cycle of a relationship.

[DaddiBear]

What have I learned?

Most recently, I learned that I deserve to be more than just an option...I deserve to be the only one. Before that, I learned that I will not be held captive by guilt, chemical dependency, and no one will put their hands on me in anger and not pay a price. Along my journey, I have learned many valuable lessons, many of which I cannot directly identify individually because they have become such an integral part of who I am today. What I can say is that I am a better person now because of the lessons learned along the way. I hope that in some way, I have left each person I have had a relationship with a little better, too.

MamaBear

[imadiva]

I have learned that your words can break a heart .
I am not all the mean things you called me ! But , I already knew that ..
When you omitted information it always came back at us.
Nothing is ever perfect but that's ok.
You are your own worst enemy .
No amount of love is enough sometimes .
If you want real communication you need to listen to WHAT the person is saying .
A BROKEN HEART is like a broken promise. But that's ok because what doesn't kill us will teach us very Valuable Lessons . Thank You ! Xoxo

[StrongButch]

1) You will love again.2) Walk away and wish them the best.3) Never look back.4) Take care of yourself.5) Give yourself time to heal.

[Kobi]

~ that I can choose to focus on the good or the bad. Focusing on the good seems to come from a position of strength. Focusing on the bad, from a position of weakness.

~ every woman has taught me some important things about living, loving, communication, and the art of relationships.

~ that different people bring out different parts of me and discovering new and unknown things is kind of exciting.

~ actions still speak louder than words

~ setting limits and boundaries still comes from love and caring

[~ocean]

Listen to friends
Don't put so much of urself out there
Try to be understanding
Don't forget that your are important too
Don't count on promises
Stay independant
Remember there were good times
Focus on new beginnings
Forgive~

[Chancie]

I've learned to ask myself, Does it really matter?

[girl_dee]

that anything less than 100% honestly will end in disaster.

[wahya]

That i was a control freak..and needed to learn patience. Thank you! wherever you may be. lesson learned.

[bright_arrow]

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaving
And company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn.


Veronica A. Shoffstall

[hagster]

I've learned anger isn't always founded in hurt and when it's present, it's not a good fit. I see that I'm capable of losing my identity and ... I shouldn't write poetry. Most importantly, the manner in which I walk away is as important, maybe more so, as the manner I walk towards. I don't get a second chance to do that right.

On the flip side, I've learned I can choose what I react to. I am capable of giving what I want in return. And ...I want to give.

[DJ Bear]

I learned that if there is no communication the relationship is lost.
Also, when the sex stops, run, don't look back just run like hell.

[VuDu]

That I should be just as important on that last day as I was on the first day.

[SugarFemme]

I have learned that love is not enough glue to hold a relationship together. I have learned that unless I love myself, no one else will love me the way I want to be loved. I have learned that I am worthy of love, and that I have a lot more value as a human being than I gave myself credit for. I have learned to listen to that infallible "voice" in my gut. It has never lied to me, and wants only the best for me. The biggest thing I have learned is that doing the same thing and expecting different results is the crazy-making stuff that made me put my life on hold for too long.

[s0litude]

• No amount of gorgeous is worth a lifetime of bat-shit crazy. :-D
• Never go into a relationship trying to change or fix someone OR allow yourself to become someone you're not. It never works. Seriously, if you feel the need to teach me how to iron, load the dishwasher, how you like your towels folded, fine... whatever. But me as a person, leave it alone. I'm not expecting you to change for me; I will not change for you. At the core, there has to be mutual respect.
• Finances: HER money, YOUR money, OUR joint expenditures (budgeting). Seriously. It's just easier and less frustrating over time.
• You can have a friendship after a break-up. If you were both honourable in your relations, then it is possible AFTER the pain and hurt subside and if you BOTH want it.