Does not being a "feely" person mean you are incapable of intimacy (all kinds)?

[Gráinne]

Hi, all:

As usual, I don't really know how to express myself well in a post I begin, so here goes:

I have a friend who is very much in touch with her feelings and emotions, about everything. She's very good with expressing herself, and is a very sensitive person as well. She has a partner whom I haven't spoken to but who seems much the same way.

I am the opposite, and it's throwing a wrench into our friendship a bit. If she describes a situation and all her different emotions, I tend to come back with "OK, what can you do in this situation?" or "What are your options?". I am not very emotional. I think in terms of actions I can take or choices to make. It's not that I don't have emotions, but I don't express them or speak of them very often. A wall goes up, I think.

We got into a small tiff about this. She got impatient with me and said "I respect that you aren't emotional, Grainne, but I am and I finally accept that part of me. It's also what I think drew *Partner* to me". We smoothed things over, and I think I appreciate her trying to draw out how I feel, and she somewhat appreciates my Spock-like side.

But, the remark about her partner kind of stung. It's not that I dislike who I am-like her, I've come to like myself as I am and I'm not likely to become touchy-feely at this point anyway. It's just not who I am. But I've also not ever really been in love. Is that impossible for someone like me? I fervently hope not. I can see myself getting into a far more intellectual than romantic relationship, and I probably wouldn't do well with a mushy partner anyway. Or am I going to miss out?

Sorry for all this. Maybe I'm just feeling very down and not seeing a lot of good tonight.