Quote:
Originally Posted by Arwen
Oh hell yeah, June. I am still struggling with this issue of being silenced in ordered to conform. I've done this for years and years and years. Only lately have I found the strength to draw a line in the sand and truly stick to my personal safety boundaries.
And it is more than hard. It's like concrete with those little rocks thrown in for texture. It hurts to rub up against. I don't like it but I have to maintain it for my own good.
It causes uncomfortable silences. It makes for hard conversation. It requires blunt, raw self-honesty that does not flinch when it looks in your mirror.
It is, one might want to say, not feminine.
QUOTABLE ALERT. I want to cross-stitch this and hang it in my house. Thank you.
This space here seems to be allowing us to do that at least in this thread. I don't go into some of the other threads so I may be missing things.
This was honestly one of the best posts of this thread for me personally. I have fought with myself over this one. The thing I get hit with when I voice an unpopular opinion or speak stridently or "meanly" is that I am being "toppy".
Same thing. Apparently femme also equals submissive (can someone tell Snow that because I'm just not that brave.) So it becomes a silencer to tell someone they are being "toppy" when all they are doing is expressing an opinion.
Having a voice doesn't make you dominant . It makes you human.
Thanks, poodle. Your next haircut (topiary included) is on me.
This is going to sound harsh.
There is time for you when you make time for you. Expecting others to fulfill your needs is a waste of precious time. Do for yourself or don't get it at all.
I do not mean that your partner can not complement you as well as compliment you. Far from it.
But how tiresome would it be to feel that you have to meet your partner's every need.
So I challenge you to make time for yourself this week and stick to it. 
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Harsh away!!! I didn't take it as harsh at all. I just spent the evening with my two sisters, a friend we have known for 20 years and my niece. It is way past my bed time!! I had a delightful evening.