[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Ryobi

I have no judgment whether someone forgives or not. I wonder though, for the folks who don't forgive, (or can't forgive) do you expect forgiveness from others? Does it matter to you if you are forgiven or not?

Nope. I don't expect what I can't or won't give. It might be nice to hear 'you are forgiven' from someone I felt I wronged, but it wouldn't be FOR me, so I can't really say that it matters to me if someone forgives me or not. If someone forgives me for a wrong I did, then that is good for them. It's to help them, not me.

Originally Posted by Isadora

See and here is my issue. I fail to see not forgiving as negative. As out of balance. As stopping growth. I think I am a wonderfully amazing positive person. This is hurting me too much, I am going to bow out of this.

I wish you wouldn't. Your view is not a singular one.

I don't forgive and I really don't think it's hindered me overall. Sure, I could probably be a bit more zen-like if I forgave more but I'm okay. Some days, great. And that is good enough for me. It's all about what we need, individually, to get through, isn't it?

Originally Posted by IrishGrrl

Isa, I"m with you on your feelings. I dont really see non forgivness as a negative either. I think there CAN be times when it will negativly impact you, but for me, my anger, rage, sadness, outrage has also spurred me on to great things. In a way it is the fire that feeds me at times. I dont think I would have survived without it, and it's now my dear close ally and friend, who is always there to give me strength when I dont feel I have any left.
The way I balance it all is, that I forgive what I can, and make no excuses or feel an ounce of guilt for what I cannot. Forgiveness is personal for me, and a private thing. I do not judge others on thier abilities to forgive or not. And I cant stand and wont listen long to someone preaching to me how I "NEED" to forgive.

The fire that feeds...indeed. I've written the best prose and created the most fantastic art when I was mad as a wet hen at someone.

True story.