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{{{{{{{{{{{Foxy}}}}}}}}}}} Ah darlin, I always watch for your posts! And you did fall off the face of the Planet, lol... well, I've been fairly quiet here myself.

Your rituals sound so intense; I can't imagine attending one and NOT coming away fundamentally changed. I'll tell ya true, Foxy, sometimes I think I'm missing such a bet by not seeking out formal ritual.... I make my own way but sometimes it would be really nice to get that jumpstart on the path. I think if I lived near you I would have to find a way to attend at least one of your rituals!

I suppose that one reason yours seem so appealing to me is that your description of them seems to leave so much room for the spirits to express themselves, and for people to connect in their own ways. I don't exactly know what it is about attending rituals from specific traditions that bothers me so... not the different Goddesses/Beings, but I suppose the dogma that so often accompanies other people's beliefs, maybe. I find myself bridling whenever anyone of any belief starts telling me How Things Are And Must Be. I used to have more patience. *sheepish look*

Anyhow, I do seem to be making some progress on my path. I remember you and I talked a while back about my being stuck, and not being able to meditate. I finally went and found a link to one of the Silva Exercises, the Long Relax. Again, I resist doing it like I want to--they tell me How It Must Be and I get tired of it--but it got me through a bad patch when I was so knotted up in pain that I couldn't function, and it seems to have started my own energy flowing again. Not that I am meditating, lol, but it helped me to see that my path doesn't require meditating right now.

Lately, people are starting to tell me that I move a lot of energy. I hadn't realized that. I was judging by the need, yanno? And so what I have been doing seems so small because the need is so overwhelming. It spurs me to keep on reaching, keep on trying, keep on doing just a little more each time. I'm trying to build up my stamina as well as my capacity. If it weren't for my Allies, though, I'd be toast at this point! They handle most of the work, sending the energy on when I run out of steam.

The biggest change in our lives the past two months has been Lady's diabetes. After that heart-stopping discovery, I thought we had gotten it under control... but over the past month she has grown two pearly-white cataracts that almost completely cover her eyes, and two days ago she woke up truly blind. She falls on the steps now, and is VERY reluctant to go outside. I spread lavendar essential oil along the edges of all the steps in the front to be an "edge marker" so to speak, but it kinda didn't work; she ignores it and doesn't seem to understand what it means. I think she's having some trouble adjusting in practical ways.

My only comfort is that dogs seem to live completely in the present moment and to accept whatever the day brings as "just the way things are," so emotionally, she doesn't seem to be in a lot of distress...... although she is milking my attempts to comfort her for EVERYTHING they're worth. Still my same ol' Ladybug, after all.

So how are you doing lately? I remember you had some sadness about leaving a group you had been part of for years and years. Did you replace it with another group or maybe take some time for yourself? And you had started exploring a new form of healing work, too.

Gryph says hi, and sends you love!

You're always in our hearts, too, yanno!
Cath