[Bit]

*quote snipped for brevity and clarity*

Originally Posted by Mister Bent

.... "tfemme" suggests an identity based solely upon attraction/partnering.
Which is to ask, how does tfemme stand alone as an identity?
If there were no such thing as a transman, what would be the identity of a tfemme?

I dunno, darlin, what IS Julie's identity? How does it depend--or NOT depend--on yours? How did it come to be solely defined by her sexuality?

You can take the heat on that one, I don't wanna be ANYWHERE near when she reads that.

I wonder. Did you completely miss the litany of Butches I referenced? How can anyone read my entire post and think that I would disappear if there were no Transmen? I lived 41 years before I even knew that Transmen existed, and I never once understood the range of my sexuality until I actually spent time talking with Transmen--------JUST AS I never understood the range of my sexuality until I spent time talking with Butches. I existed before I knew about them, I would exist if they were all gone.... only yanno, they WOULDN'T be gone. They would still be Stone Butches, Third Gender Butches, GenderQueer Butches, Hard Butches, Transgendered Butches, Two Spirit Butches--need I go on?

I understand that you're not trying to be dismissive and I also understand that it's late and I am certainly feeling snippy, but goddammit it's been seven and a half years now that I have been hearing how being Transensual trumps every other part of my identity, that my sexuality is somehow enormous enough that it completely negates my very being who lives and moves and breathes in this world as a Femme who is the natural partner of Butches. My ability to partner with Transmen is a gift that I cherish. It does not limit me, it frees me. It does not dehumanize me, it allows me to be the full person I was always meant to be. I am lucky enough to have grown into an identity that includes an expanded sexuality.