Quote:
Originally Posted by Incubus
don't hestitate to ask for support...don't struggle in silence, come talk about it, there's loads of us who know the highs and lows of this journey.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Julie
I fell!
A couple days ago - I had a meltdown. A genuine meltdown directed at my three son's. I became hysterical (lol omg so dramatic) and stole one of Isa's (middle son's) cigs and smoked it, as if I had never quit. And then another. And then the next morning, snuck into his room and stole one out of his pack, and then another. Then yesterday same routine - except Isa left for the week and then some of Ben's friends came over who smoked and when they were not looking, I stole theirs!
How Pathetic!
I just charged my e-cig and at some point this morning will go get some mild filters. I am not sure why I cannot manage my emotions, except ---- I did just get my period, a week early and I am emotional for a variety of reasons -- But why the cigs? Why do we always reach for the cigs?
That is all - I am not ashamed, just a bit disappointed in myself. I am glad the kids left for a few days - I need to regroup and find some *me* time and get back on track. AND - I told Isa, you cannot come back home with cigarettes. I am not strong enough yet.
Julie
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You are human love. just keep pushing through because you want this...
For me the meltdowns make me want to smoke as well...they are emotionally charged..for me those bad days i want more than anything to smoke and i do not...for me it was always about , are you ready for this....i smoked to "AVOID" emotion.....nice huh... now im 41 with the emotions of a teenager wtf is that about....
so now i dont smoke and i have these things called "emotions" creeping up on me all the time...learning to deal with them one at a time...
there was this old thought
"If i smoke i don't have to deal with the bad stuff"
Here is a new thought
"the bad stuff is gonna happen anyway, no need to smoke"