Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - What does the "B-F Dynamic" mean to you?

imperfect_cupcake · 01-19-2010, 09:43 PM

Hi straps!

I think so too.

I'm really thinking about this. of course I can't answer for anyone else... only me and my expereinces.

every relationship, including butch-butch, femme-femme, non-ID-trans, kitchensink-genderqueer, is going to have a type of ying/yang, back-forth, tidal, mixing and moving of "energies."

I still am of the opinion that it's because of what/whom I'm attracted to, not the actual relationship dance, that's the distinction.

answer something for me straps... why do the femme-femme friends of yours "not get" your relationship? what's "not to get?" it's a relationship between people who care about each other.

Are they questioning your attractions? what exactly are they not "getting." I have plenty of non-butch-femme couple friends and it's not that they "don't get it" in that they don't understand my relationships... it's that they "don't give a shit" to most of a degree what my relationships are and that they "don't get" why I want only one kind (to them) partner. they don't care mind you, it's just not within their realm of expereince and they don't care enough to ask me about it - mostly.

when explaining it, it hasn't been me explaining the "butch-femme dynamic" as I don't think it's a universal, so why bother. However, it *has* been me explaining that my primary attraction is for X with a choice of varients in 1 through 600 different possibilites.

To be super honest, the only people I've run into in the past 7 years interested in the whys of butch-femme or even a particular ID has beeen those within the group in question.

Or newly out/very young

what exactly did they say to you that made you feel you wanted to explain your relationship dynamics with your girlfriends to them? (not an attack, just a wonder/sincere curiosity)

Nice to see you!!

01-19-2010, 09:43 PM	#17
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Hi straps! I think so too. I'm really thinking about this. of course I can't answer for anyone else... only me and my expereinces. every relationship, including butch-butch, femme-femme, non-ID-trans, kitchensink-genderqueer, is going to have a type of ying/yang, back-forth, tidal, mixing and moving of "energies." I still am of the opinion that it's because of what/whom I'm attracted to, not the actual relationship dance, that's the distinction. answer something for me straps... why do the femme-femme friends of yours "not get" your relationship? what's "not to get?" it's a relationship between people who care about each other. Are they questioning your attractions? what exactly are they not "getting." I have plenty of non-butch-femme couple friends and it's not that they "don't get it" in that they don't understand my relationships... it's that they "don't give a shit" to most of a degree what my relationships are and that they "don't get" why I want only one kind (to them) partner. they don't care mind you, it's just not within their realm of expereince and they don't care enough to ask me about it - mostly. when explaining it, it hasn't been me explaining the "butch-femme dynamic" as I don't think it's a universal, so why bother. However, it has been me explaining that my primary attraction is for X with a choice of varients in 1 through 600 different possibilites. To be super honest, the only people I've run into in the past 7 years interested in the whys of butch-femme or even a particular ID has beeen those within the group in question. Or newly out/very young what exactly did they say to you that made you feel you wanted to explain your relationship dynamics with your girlfriends to them? (not an attack, just a wonder/sincere curiosity) Nice to see you!!