Miscommunications are very difficult, indeed, especially when it comes to long-distance relationships (which is the case with us).
Second chances, when they do come, I need to realise won't be overnight decisions; she's not going to just come running back to me, and the brick wall she has put up is a way to protect herself from getting hurt again. I completely understand that and do not blame her in any way, shape, or form. She is perfectly justified in guarding herself against me. I hurt her, a lot, and made her feel like she wasn't good enough. That alone can really create an emotional catastrophy.
I've been advised to let her have her space, and avoid telling her how much I love and miss her, etc. However, I've also been advised to not disappear from her life completely, so she knows I'm still here, and I still care about her.
I just know that I need to work on myself; work out what went wrong, why I push good people away, why I feel the need to say things, and why I don't believe I deserve better. Etc.
Wow, I'm going on and on... I guess it's hard to see things for what they are when you're hurting so much. My heart may be screaming for her, and the crying is constant, but I also need to stop being so pessimistic and realise that even if she gives me a second chance... we both need some time first.
Thank you for allowing me to, ah, type?
I'd love it if others would share their experiences...
