[Martina]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

If I say that for me to call myself a lesbian I would have to by and large continue to fit the above criteria, why is that transphobic?

i think that going out of one's way to defend or reclaim and ID that is changing usually has a reason. One is being defensive or wanting to take something back from a group or groups who one may feel has appropriated your ID. That generally means exclusion.

Here's a quote from a post made later in the thread by the OP:

I am tired of feeling invisible in my own community. I am tired of feeling like a guest in my own community.

I just wanted a place to be where others like me can get together and say "hey yea we are still here and we are still ok and we still have a voice and we're not going away."

So who is making this person feel invisible? Who is NOT like her? i am guessing maybe transfolk or people involved with them. Or perhaps male-ID'd or bisexuals -- not sure. But there is some group the poster is talking about.