[Bit]

Originally Posted by evolveme

Also, I am more frequently experiencing "lesbian-hate." You know, snark at the very idea of what Lesbian is. Now, given all of this, I do not feel myself to be oppressed. That's certainly not what I'm saying here.

My battle has always been for and about the ones I love. (And I think I can see that it's that way for you too.)

Nooooo, e, no. I have done my damnedest to stay OUT of battles, to stay in the middle where I belong rather than choosing one side over the other; yet I have been forced into a box and stereotyped MUCH to my very vocal protests!

I have ALWAYS stood for ALL Butches and ALL Transmen. I have never, ever wanted to choose. I finally gave in to the inevitable several years ago, admitted defeat, and left the field. I just could not take the battles anymore, not in my own community, not in the place where I wanted most to fit in. Since I was single at the time, the community was all I had... I couldn't deal with dissension and contention at that point, you know? The pain went too deep.

I'm sure you read about Parker's experience with Lesbians? Mine has been the Femme parallel, with people I considered sisters telling me I no longer belonged to their club because I wanted to be with a man, and slamming the door behind me. This happened so often, to so many of us, that it became a cliche.

I have seen a lot of Lesbian hate; I know it's out there---but I have also seen those of us who have tried to talk about this painful experience be accused of Lesbian hate when that isn't accurate.

Again, it's one of those emotionally fraught issues, where we all bring past pain to the table; sometimes that pain is what speaks the loudest.

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

The above posts are excellent posts. But I feel I may have rattled some cages without meaning to. And please forgive me if I have.

{{{{{{{{{{{{Parker}}}}}}}}}}} Didn't rattle my cage, darlin, but I do appreciate hearing your experiences.

Originally Posted by Mister Bent

Thank you, Bit for speaking from the Partner Perspective. I read the first line of your post and turned to e and said, "of course - It applies to both sides of the relationship!" So glad you addressed this.

Thanks, Bent. I couldn't NOT answer, it just burst out of me; then I thought, "sheesh, Cath! He didn't ask you!" but I couldn't NOT post anyhow. *sheepish smile*