Incubus, I'm pulling for you. Keep the main thing, the main thing. By all means, do see a doctor.
Baby steps, baby steps. Take care not to place yourself in a stressful situation - you are fragile right now with vulnerable emotions. Hope you are hanging with others in recovery. For me, when I got to feeling better physically and fell back in with a using/drinking buddy or six, my lying mind would tell me, "oh, that physical sickness was not so bad" ... then I'd be "coming to" ... wondering how I could have let it happen again ... but still continued cycling through it over and over. Incubus, the recovery people told me at a meeting that I would not ever have to feel so sick again from deliberate ingestion of mood altering substances ... if I didn't want to because I now had a choice if I hung with them and did what they did. I hated, purely hated things they said to me in the beginning but they were right. That is how it was for me.
I sure hope you make good choices for you. I'll check back to see how you are doing.
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