Thread: Stone Femme?
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Old 03-15-2012, 04:35 PM   #2
CherylNYC
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How Do You Identify?:
Stonefemme lesbian
Preferred Pronoun?:
I'm a woman. Behave accordingly.
Relationship Status:
Single, not looking.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DapperButch View Post
boobookitty, is this what the women call themselves? It sounds like a derogatory word; I have never heard it before.



For what it is worth, Cheryl, I have never regarded this being an automatic thing and had no idea that others thought this.
I think 'queer' has been embraced by many young people because it's non gender specific, and in some circles claiming a gender has become, well, uncool. (I also think it's attractive partly because it presents an easy solution to the awkward linguistics of LGBTI alphabet soup, but that's not really relevant to this post.) In my experience, the non-gendered word, 'queer', does invite the assumption that the femme who IDs as such would be open to a relationship with males, (trans men or male IDed people). I am not interested in any kind of male. I'm strictly interested in butch women, so I think using queer would be disingenuous for me.

It's been my experience lately that many of the people who ID as queer, do so as a f**k u and your gender, in-yer-face, kind of political statement. Believe it or not, some straight people have even started to call themselves queer. I think, though I can't speak for all of them, that some may do so because they think they're being supportive. Kind of like, "I'm Spartacus". Of course, I find it as offensive as white people calling themselves POCs in a misguided attempt to create solidarity. There are also straight people within the BDSM community who call themselves queer because they think 'queer' should encompass all sexual minorities. Don't get me wrong- I don't think either practice is AT ALL widespread! I sometimes travel in circles that encompass extreme ends of the sexual minority spectrum. Those are the circles within which I've had a few very surprising conversations with people who don't use 'queer' in ways I can relate to.

Regardless of how other people use 'queer', it's not an accurate descriptor for me.
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