Dear Spritz,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a leprechaun. I think I realized it when when your dwarf bit me in your closet and I saw you hit on my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that I'm alergic to your earlobes. I'm returning your toe ring to you, but I'll keep your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I never will forget that night and I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo.
Greetings to your frog Leonard,
Stoney
LOL this was cute... and fun.