[Nomad]

Originally Posted by blush

Do you have the time, interest, and desire to explore this topic and do your own thinking/research? Or do you expect others to do it for you?

It sounds like you come from an honest place and other viewpoints are always helpful, but really, the hard work has to come from you. It can be an exhausting expectation for others to educate you.

i am going to reply to this privately. i see no reason to derail this thread with my response.

Originally Posted by aishah

from my previous interactions with nomad, i have the basic assumption that she explores this stuff on her own as well as through here. i could be wrong. i don't mind being asked to elaborate (especially with the caveat that she doesn't expect me to - i didn't feel pressured by her post as i have in other conversations here about education).

the only thing i found difficult was the phrasing of "tell me what to do" - i think, especially when oppression issues come up, people want to be told what to do. i know i definitely experience that sometimes. the idea that there's an easy answer and or a rulebook or something. unfortunately, usually, there isn't, and i don't think anyone wants to (or should) be in the position of telling others what to do. life just doesn't work that way - you have to fuck up and learn on your own. but i can share what's worked for me in my own experience. that doesn't mean it'll work for everyone.

Originally Posted by Julie

I agree aishah... It was a trigger for me as well (Tell me what to do) and I stopped myself from reacting. Oftentimes we pick phrases/words from a post (especially a long post) and skim the rest.

You obviously in your life have mentored.

Julie

forgive me if i'm seriously blind but i cant find any such phrase in my post. at no time do i say "tell me what to do" that i can see. i said "what then do i do about...." which is, perhaps, an old-fashioned way of speaking but in no way is meant to suggest that i'd like to be told what to do so that i dont have to think of one myself. i was asking what ideas other people might have for participating in the discussion without coming from an othering or offensive place.