Quote:
Originally Posted by TheMerryFairy
I have a question for you all . It is a little off topic but not far off. Have any of you ever been asked by a sexual partner to use gloves or oral dams? What did you do? Did you use them because the other person would feel more comfortable or did you try to find another way to be safe?
I have never been asked but a few friends of mine have and they all seemed to act offended at the remark. I personally wouldn't think it would be an insult but I was curious to see what everybody else thought.
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I'm coming from the other side. I'm the one who does the asking, or I should say insisting, because unsafe sex is a hard limit for me. When I've found myself dating someone who doesn't share my commitment to safer sex, I absolutely insist on it, and they realise pretty quickly that there's no compromising my hard limit. They must use gloves and condoms if they want to play. Period. I do not prefer dental dams. Saran wrap works better.
I've been surprised at how many women don't insist on playing safely. HIV isn't particularly easy to transmit, but Hep C certainly is, and I know more than enough people in my community who are affected. I don't care at all whether or not anyone finds it insulting. I would find it insulting if someone I was dating couldn't respect my hard limit.
Once I've been dating a person for awhile we may trust each other enough to become fluid bonded. We then get tested, after which we can have sex without gloves and saran wrap, assuming the tests turn out well. If either of us were to play outside the fluid bonded relationship, it would have to be 100% safer sex.