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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Aotearoa New Zealand
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ciaran
I've posted about this before on this site but the above type of arrangement would be my ideal relationship. I like intimacy with a partner and sharing our physical space - but I cannot do this 24/7. I need alone time and I need my own personal space too sometimes. Therefore, 24/7 would be very claustrophobic for me and, simply, I don't think it would work unless we at least had separate rooms in the same house in addition to shared space.
When I think back to the few 24/7 relationships I've had, I realise that I always had separate living arrangements in part. For example, when I moved in with my partner around 2001 or so, I kept my own condo and would sometimes spend the night there (it was closer to my office anyway).
The difficulty is that some / many people perceive the need for separate personal space as indicative of a lack of commitment - whereas, from my perspective, it's nothing of the sort. Rather, it's to preserve my sanity and actually strengthen the relationship.
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An ex and I had our own bedrooms but spent most of our time in hers - until she stopped being intimate with me and it was too painful to continue to sleep with her.
Having said that, I've always fancied having a house like this (Wellington, New Zealand - this type tends to be much longer than it is wider) where we could have plenty of separate space as well as lovely mad love shared space.
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