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Old 04-14-2010, 04:50 PM   #26
Jet
Timed Out - TOS Drama

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Quote:
Originally Posted by atomiczombie View Post
I need some support.

As many of you know, I suffer from PTSD and anxiety/panic disorder. I am fully clear and confident in my transmasculine/transgender male identity, mind you. I know who I am and who I am not.

That said, I am at a place in my life where it is now time to contact my doctor to start testosterone therapy and transition physically. Now that the moment of truth has arrived, it seems my anxiety has ratcheted up. I don't have doubts about who I am or whether this is really what I want, I swear! I am totally clear about who I am and have been for several years. I want to physically transition. I need to physically transition. I want to feel whole.

So why am I so anxious about making that call? I have no freakin' idea, and I wonder if any other guys have felt this way and how they have dealt with it. Any thoughts?

Thanks in advance,

Drew

This is not an easy choice to make for some...there are variables. Maybe you should touch base in the PTSD and recovery thread. They could give you input about why you're not at peace. One thing is certain...honesty about everything is everything.

I'm a trauma survivor. I had to put my T sessions on hold because of PTSD and reaching its core. I will start this year, but it's delayed because of this. I don't want the effects of T entwined with trauma issues. It could be distasterous. Honesty and more honesty.
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