[SleepyButch]

As I sit here resting my coffee cup on my gut, I'm not sure what I'll write but I'll just let it come out....

I'm a bigger Butch. My weight fluctuates, when I'm happy I gain weight. When I'm not, I lose it. My most recent break up left me 20 lbs lighter but it's coming back as it always does. I like to eat. What can I say?

I'm almost 5'9" and just shy of 200lbs at this point. I tend to struggle with my own weight issues more than I get them from others. What if I gain weight, will so and so not like me anymore? That's a hard one to work through when you are in a relationship or not in a relationship. Thankfully, none of my past gfs have ever judged me for my weight and have never left me because I gained or lost for that matter. No one has ever said, C, do you really want to eat all of those chocolate chip cookies? My answer would have been, not unless you want to share them with me.


99% of my pics are selfies because I'm too shy or embarrassed to ask someone to take a full length picture of me. So because my face is thinner, it may (or may not) look like I'm thinner than I am. I always make it a point to tell anyone I'm seriously going to date that I am by no means thin because I don't like surprises. (I always cringe a little not knowing what their reaction will be.) If I show up and am not what you expect, what a waste of time for you and definitely for me!


I remember way back in the stone ages, when there were no online forums such as these. I would pick up the local gay paper and look at the personal ads. (anyone else remember these?) I would read post after post of how they did NOT want Butches or fatties. It was so depressing because what if you were both? I never answered any of them anyway but still. What's wrong with being Butch and what is wrong with being large? People are cruel.
Right?

So fast forward to more recent. Holy hell, there are women called femmes that want Butches? Wow! Then, holy hell, there are women who are femmes that don't care about your weight and even like bigger guys?! Wow! Really Wow!

With that in mind, I want to thank all of you who love us for who we are, no matter our size because you can see the beauty that we are. Speaking for myself now, without you, I know I would be a pretty lonely guy and that is not the way I want to live my life. I want to be loved and appreciated for me and so many of you know exactly what that means and how to make me/us feel special.

I'm a Bigger Butch. I can be handsome, sexy and yes even beautiful because you help me see those things in me.

So thank you again from the bottom of my heart. You too are appreciated!