Big Butch Love

[SleepyButch]

As I sit here resting my coffee cup on my gut, I'm not sure what I'll write but I'll just let it come out....

I'm a bigger Butch. My weight fluctuates, when I'm happy I gain weight. When I'm not, I lose it. My most recent break up left me 20 lbs lighter but it's coming back as it always does. I like to eat. What can I say?

I'm almost 5'9" and just shy of 200lbs at this point. I tend to struggle with my own weight issues more than I get them from others. What if I gain weight, will so and so not like me anymore? That's a hard one to work through when you are in a relationship or not in a relationship. Thankfully, none of my past gfs have ever judged me for my weight and have never left me because I gained or lost for that matter. No one has ever said, C, do you really want to eat all of those chocolate chip cookies? My answer would have been, not unless you want to share them with me.


99% of my pics are selfies because I'm too shy or embarrassed to ask someone to take a full length picture of me. So because my face is thinner, it may (or may not) look like I'm thinner than I am. I always make it a point to tell anyone I'm seriously going to date that I am by no means thin because I don't like surprises. (I always cringe a little not knowing what their reaction will be.) If I show up and am not what you expect, what a waste of time for you and definitely for me!


I remember way back in the stone ages, when there were no online forums such as these. I would pick up the local gay paper and look at the personal ads. (anyone else remember these?) I would read post after post of how they did NOT want Butches or fatties. It was so depressing because what if you were both? I never answered any of them anyway but still. What's wrong with being Butch and what is wrong with being large? People are cruel.
Right?

So fast forward to more recent. Holy hell, there are women called femmes that want Butches? Wow! Then, holy hell, there are women who are femmes that don't care about your weight and even like bigger guys?! Wow! Really Wow!

With that in mind, I want to thank all of you who love us for who we are, no matter our size because you can see the beauty that we are. Speaking for myself now, without you, I know I would be a pretty lonely guy and that is not the way I want to live my life. I want to be loved and appreciated for me and so many of you know exactly what that means and how to make me/us feel special.

I'm a Bigger Butch. I can be handsome, sexy and yes even beautiful because you help me see those things in me.

So thank you again from the bottom of my heart. You too are appreciated!

[JustLovelyJenn]

Thought I might come back around here again... hi folks...

[randrum]

This is a great thread. To read everyone's, both butch and femme alike, responses is enlightening.

I've never thought of myself as big until the last couple of years. Technically speaking, based on BMI and height-weight charts, I have always been overweight. Even in peak physical condition in high school and college (I was a swimmer).

I have naturally big shoulders, that are a source of pride really. I like how they look. And I have always been muscular. But over the last few years I've developed a gut. It's a sore spot for me.

I workout regularly. Lift weights, run, yoga, etc. I try to eat right, though I'm a sucker for pizza, burgers, and beer. Lol.

Life would be easier if I just accepted that I have the gut. If I was just happy with the body I'm in, because really there is nothing wrong with it. But even if I accepted it, it doesn't mean other people would.

My dad always comments about my size. My mom tells me every time she sees me that I need to "lose the gut". Or will give me a look when I'm eating something she doesn't approve of.

So that leads me to a bad place. If my parents can't accept my size, how am I going to find a woman to love me in spite of it? Honestly, it's why I haven't even put myself out there to find a gf. I figured I didn't stand a chance.

[imperfect_cupcake]

You shouldn't be finding someone who loves you Despite how you look. Someone will love you because of how you look. If you are attracted to a femme, in spite of her size, that is going to be felt. I'd hate that.
I find people hot because of how they think, how they move, how they handle their own bodies. I like a sense of confidence in movement. It's shows a sense of grace. That's hot. I've been with butches from size 8 to size 28. Literally. They were all very, very sexy in their bodies because of how they moved and held themselves. My physical attractions are about sense of self in body, movement, gesture, confidence, owning their space in a variety of ways that people do. That and being a bit cocky, playfully sarcastic, dark humoured and smart. Open about their desires. The willingness to experiment.
Hot. Very hot.

[LilyCat]

Some femmes actually prefer a big butch to cuddle up to and love. I am one of those femmes. So I say go out there and find your beautiful femme, she is probably looking for you too.

[clay]

I enjoy this thread! Bumping..for great posts to re-read......

[Daisy Chain]

Originally Posted by clay

I enjoy this thread! Bumping..for great posts to re-read......

In that case I shall answer your call Clay !!

OK, As this thread is entitled Big Butch Love I will state that yes bigger butches are indeed easy on the eye....that said so are thinner butches too ! OK that sounds like I am sitting on the fence right ?! The thing is I really do love peoples uniqueness, and I find beauty/attractiveness in all those little details. It can be an accent, the way they laugh, the way their hair falls...no hair, skinned off even, a walk, swagger...hands, how they rest them on their thighs palms down, hook a thumb in a pocket....all the little details. And their energy. The most beautiful thing about any butch is how they make you feel when you are around them, make me feel relaxed and at ease and you have my attention. And frankly all of these things can come in any/many types of packages......you can be tall, short, slender, burly...do like that word...burly..yes indeed.

I can say the love of my life is a couple of inches shorter than me and I wouldnt say heavy by any means though she would say she needs to loose a few pounds, though working nights in the medical profession throws her eating habits out a lot.

All that said though if I was pressed I would say ideally I would be more likely to be drawn to a heavier butch.....also be greying,,,,have those wrinkly crinkly sparkly eyes too......older than me....and top it all off with the gentlest smile !

So yes, Big Butch Love abounds from Daisy.....{that took me long enough to get to the point eh !! }

Daisy

[Shystonefem]

Originally Posted by randrum

This is a great thread. To read everyone's, both butch and femme alike, responses is enlightening.

I've never thought of myself as big until the last couple of years. Technically speaking, based on BMI and height-weight charts, I have always been overweight. Even in peak physical condition in high school and college (I was a swimmer).

I have naturally big shoulders, that are a source of pride really. I like how they look. And I have always been muscular. But over the last few years I've developed a gut. It's a sore spot for me.

I workout regularly. Lift weights, run, yoga, etc. I try to eat right, though I'm a sucker for pizza, burgers, and beer. Lol.

Life would be easier if I just accepted that I have the gut. If I was just happy with the body I'm in, because really there is nothing wrong with it. But even if I accepted it, it doesn't mean other people would.

My dad always comments about my size. My mom tells me every time she sees me that I need to "lose the gut". Or will give me a look when I'm eating something she doesn't approve of.

So that leads me to a bad place. If my parents can't accept my size, how am I going to find a woman to love me in spite of it? Honestly, it's why I haven't even put myself out there to find a gf. I figured I didn't stand a chance.

I never have seen it that way. People tell me that I am small but I don't feel that way. I actually don't like being called small.....

My mother told me, every single day, how fat I was (at the time, I was a size 7).... She was thin (a size 3). What I am trying to say is that what one person appears to see is not what the rest of the world sees.

So what if you have a beer belly? You are still the same person.... just sayin.

[Mel C.]

*bumping for the big butches and their fans*

[JustLovelyJenn]

I'm still loving... from afar... at the moment.

[JDeere]

Can us big trans guys be included? Just wondering! I don't want to start a new thread if us Trans guys can be included here.