excellant points of distinction between indulgence and nurturing. I indulged. I overcompensated for not being loved as a child and also, not knowing how to, in my attempts, I would go hog wild. My addiction to alcohol started out as an attempt to nurture. It was indulgence and then a crutch and then a need and then an addiction.
I have lived in pendulum swings. None or too much. In my 50s I am learning to moderate and find a balance and to know that too much is too much and too little isnt enough. And, that it all comes from me...not outside myself...first and foremost. Because I wasnt loved as a child, (or I should say, as much as a child should be loved, for I know my parents DID love me, just didnt express it) I grew up eager to find it outside of myself..to fill that void left in me. What a fiasco that has been.
No matter where I go, there I am. Void and all. No one can fill it but me. And the way it gets filled is thru nurturance, no indulgence.
good one, Arwen...
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Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
The field sees, the forest hears
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