Colonoscopy "Adventure" Time

[pynkkameleon]

I admit that this isn't the most pleasant of topics. After all the thought of having this procedure sounds worse (to me) than a trip to the dentist, the gyno and having a token mammogram thrown in at the end of the day.

With that said, I know the importance of having one done, particularly when you are over 50 or at risk due to family history and/or medical issues that warrant it.

This is probably a good time to bring it up anyway since we are bombarded with pink everywhere, reminding us to have those boobs squished for our annual mammograms. It seems to me that if we are going to be humiliated (once again, this is how it feels for ME), what better time to schedule a routine colonoscopy? One of those "lets get get it all done and over with at the same time as the mammo, so that we can bury it in the back of our minds for the next year" kind of things.

I should add that my initial reason for bringing this up is because I am scheduled for my very first, non routine procedure next week and I am absolutely dreading it. I can do the ta-ta mashing thing, although I don't have to anymore because I no longer have those. As a Femme, I have to admit that I have really struggled with the loss of them. Mostly a body image, intimacy, loss of femininity etc. issue but also an "OMG!! I can't wear any of my cute and sexy low cut, cleavage popping shirts anymore. What can I say? I admit that I am a bit of a vain creature and as much as I loved all of my sexy clothes, somehow wearing tops that plunge down to my bellybutton aren't quite as sexy for me. Anyway, my cancer and subsequent mastectomy aren't the purpose of this thread. I just threw some background in there to explain a teeny bit of my fear of having this done since the purpose is to rule out cancer spread.

What I want to know is, for those of you that have had this procedure done, how did you prepare yourself mentally for this? To be honest, I'm not certain of what mortifies me more? Having a scope slipped into my ass or the subsequent passing of gas that will commence afterwards. I am a bit of a prude in the tooting department. I do NOT pass gas in front of anyone. I don't care how long I have been with someone. I do not do it. I guess that will be changing next week though. As for the other, I love a bit of anal (I know, TMI! but this is not the kind of foreplay that's on this girls wishlist.

I would love to hear of personal stories, adventures and whatnot. I am a humor whore so if you have a little bit of that to throw in, all the better. It is far and above my best coping mechanism no matter what comes my way. I realize that it is a very personal topic but it is also one that we shouldn't bury under the rug because it truly is an important part of monitoring and being proactive about our health. I am hoping that this subject will bring responses from those that are all across the gender spectrum as well as some perspective from those of you that are a part of the medical community. I also hope that maybe, just maybe, it will prompt some who may be avoiding having this done to simply just go and get the damn thing done and over with.

So for now, I will take my ass (pun intended) off the podium and hope that this thread will bring some responses. If nothing else, maybe you will take pity on my girly sense of pride and make this a wee bit less scary for me.