Colonoscopy "Adventure" Time

[pynkkameleon]

I admit that this isn't the most pleasant of topics. After all the thought of having this procedure sounds worse (to me) than a trip to the dentist, the gyno and having a token mammogram thrown in at the end of the day.

With that said, I know the importance of having one done, particularly when you are over 50 or at risk due to family history and/or medical issues that warrant it.

This is probably a good time to bring it up anyway since we are bombarded with pink everywhere, reminding us to have those boobs squished for our annual mammograms. It seems to me that if we are going to be humiliated (once again, this is how it feels for ME), what better time to schedule a routine colonoscopy? One of those "lets get get it all done and over with at the same time as the mammo, so that we can bury it in the back of our minds for the next year" kind of things.

I should add that my initial reason for bringing this up is because I am scheduled for my very first, non routine procedure next week and I am absolutely dreading it. I can do the ta-ta mashing thing, although I don't have to anymore because I no longer have those. As a Femme, I have to admit that I have really struggled with the loss of them. Mostly a body image, intimacy, loss of femininity etc. issue but also an "OMG!! I can't wear any of my cute and sexy low cut, cleavage popping shirts anymore. What can I say? I admit that I am a bit of a vain creature and as much as I loved all of my sexy clothes, somehow wearing tops that plunge down to my bellybutton aren't quite as sexy for me. Anyway, my cancer and subsequent mastectomy aren't the purpose of this thread. I just threw some background in there to explain a teeny bit of my fear of having this done since the purpose is to rule out cancer spread.

What I want to know is, for those of you that have had this procedure done, how did you prepare yourself mentally for this? To be honest, I'm not certain of what mortifies me more? Having a scope slipped into my ass or the subsequent passing of gas that will commence afterwards. I am a bit of a prude in the tooting department. I do NOT pass gas in front of anyone. I don't care how long I have been with someone. I do not do it. I guess that will be changing next week though. As for the other, I love a bit of anal (I know, TMI! but this is not the kind of foreplay that's on this girls wishlist.

I would love to hear of personal stories, adventures and whatnot. I am a humor whore so if you have a little bit of that to throw in, all the better. It is far and above my best coping mechanism no matter what comes my way. I realize that it is a very personal topic but it is also one that we shouldn't bury under the rug because it truly is an important part of monitoring and being proactive about our health. I am hoping that this subject will bring responses from those that are all across the gender spectrum as well as some perspective from those of you that are a part of the medical community. I also hope that maybe, just maybe, it will prompt some who may be avoiding having this done to simply just go and get the damn thing done and over with.

So for now, I will take my ass (pun intended) off the podium and hope that this thread will bring some responses. If nothing else, maybe you will take pity on my girly sense of pride and make this a wee bit less scary for me.

[Chancie]

I had a colonoscopy about two months after I turned 50.

My insurance company offered a little bribe and

I'd heard that my ex had colon cancer.

Different doctors recommend different ways to clean out your kishkes.

I had to stop eating at a certain time and

My doctor prescribed laxative pills and

I had to drink gallons of the saltiest soda you can imagine.

Pete was upstairs, but

I watched Tipping the Velvet and dozed off and on all night.

Your intestines must be cleaned out so the doctor can see every corner.

If you don't get your guts squeaky clean,

You will have to drink the salty soda again.

I didn't feel much of what happened during the colonoscopy, because

I was given a nice tranquilizer but

There is one moment when the scope is turning a corner, and

It hurt like hell.

Afterwards I asked Pete to take me out for breakfast and

I fell asleep in the car on the way home.

[Parker]

I hated having mine (at least 2 that I remember) - because of what you said: the passing of gas in front of strangers.

But, if you are sedated, which I HIGHLY recommend that you are, you wont even know you are doing it and believe me when I tell you, they are used to it -- not only have I had a couple of these done to me, but when I was a hospital corpsman in the Navy many years ago, I worked a stint in the minor surgery dept and that's where they did colonoscopies and I assisted with them - it is completely normal to toot up the room. I know that isnt a great comfort and I feel you on it, but try to remind yourself of that when you are there.

The reason why I recommend the sedation (they dont knock you out, you are just more relaxed) is because of how far up they need to go - it is so uncomfortable and so crampy (feels kinda like a bad case of constipation to me) that the 2 times I did it, they couldnt go up as far as they wanted because I was in so much distress; and I wasnt the one who stopped them - they had a nurse up near me talking me through it and she could see the distress on my face so she told the doc and they stopped.

The first time I had one, I was all "how bad can this really be?" lol - and the second time I had one, I just forgot what it was like to have one and didnt get the sedation, but from now on, I will so they can go up as far as they need to. I think I actually told them to put in my medical record that the next one willbe under sedation so I dont forget! lol

Also, if you dont get sedated and are trying not to let loose with the farts, it could make it harder for them to advance the scope (all the clenching), which will make it both harder on you and last longer.

Those are the 2 best things I can tell another colonoscopy vict-err patient -- say yes to sedation and go ahead and let loose with the toots, no matter how embarrassing it is -- all that air and water going up there HAS to come back out eventually!

Good luck and I hope you get good results and are ok.

[clay]

Thank you for being so brave and for sharing your thoughts!!
Having just had my THIRD one in less than a year, I am well versed on these!
Being a Medical Professional, I evaded having these per my PCP's suggestions for the last 10 years.
Last Fall I was referred to a Gynecological Oncologist for some precancerous issues! Before I even saw her, she ordered a colonoscopy..
I was found to have Invasive Adenocarcinoma When I went to see the Gynie Oncol. I asked why did she order that test, but let her know just how appreciative of her doing so I was! My initial surgery was to be with the Robotic Arm and avoid an Exploratory Laparoscopy!
But with the cancer being found, I was referred to a Surgical Oncologist and a plan of action was determined. I was scheduled for a DOUBLE major abdominal surgery ASAP! The double surgeries were to avoid having general anesthesia a second time.
The initial scope the doc used indigo tattoo ink and a metal clip was attached to the tumor. The tattoo was placed at the proximal (closest) and distal (fartherest) margins of said tumor. The clip was a marker. Both these were for Xray visuals and for the surgeon when I was opened up. These markers also let the surgeon know once inside if the tumor was spread any beyond initial findings.
Having this tumor found so very early on and with no further spread, I was truly blessed. I was able to avoid any chemo and radiation! I told my doctor I was going to make cancer my bitch! She loved that!!! My surgeon told me I had dodged a major bullet, as colon cancer is the SECOND leading cause of cancer deaths.
I wish we did pay more attention to the other cancers! I am looking for a navy blue ribbon to wear denoting my Colon Cancer. I AM a survivor! I get tested every 3 months, and will for life now, BUT I happily do so!!!! My prognosis is 59% for a 5 year survival from this kind of cancer!!!
My biggest "concern" was that damn prep. It is polyethylene glycol..generic for Miralax 238G. It leaves a nasty, slimy residue in your mouth for a while...lol.
I wasn't ever concerned about my arse being exposed, the insertion of the camera, nor the "gas". You will get a mild amnesiac (Propofol) and sometimes a dose of Versed...so you won't know or remember much else...I HATE that nasty Prep! lol First time I had a half a gallon, second time I had to do a bottle of Mag Citrate 2 days before, clear liquids, and day before clear liquids, a Dulcolax tab followed by a half gallon of PEG....you drink 8 oz, every 20 minutes followed by a glass of water after each...arrgghhhh. The prep was salty. THIS time, I mixed the Miralax in a 64 oz. jug of Orange Gatorade! You can't eat or drink anything Purple or Red prior to these scopes...lol.....and the gatorade made it much more palatable. Plus my minerals and electrolytes didn't get so depleted!!
Pynk, I send you a big hug and I am with you in spirit my beautiful friend! I can understand your feelings/thoughts on this procedure. For me, I went down to the beach, and just "lost" myself and watched the amazing dolphins. I kept my surroundings only in a positive light, and listened to music. I can psych myself into my zen place like that, and do I did it for surgery and for my scope a few days ago. Having had my third one recently, it is still "worrisome" and afterwards, you say..."this was easier than I thought"..
I, too, did not want to pass gas in public BUT I tell you what, there will be many folks there doing just that. They insufflate the colon to see better...all the tiny folds, creases, and crannies...and you will be bloated and gassy....so passing it is helpful....pride be damned...lol
You can search deep inside to find that peaceful place for you...it is different for all of us..and I send you much love, my beautiful friend!!!
I love you, Pynk!!! and am always here for you!!! May you be at peace and have good results....Clay
BTW I have my mammos yearly and even though I am now minus that uterus, I still have to get yearly vag. cuff pap tests...go figure....lol

[clay]

I just can't imagine doing an endoscopy without a mild anesthesia. Versed helps you to relax and the Propofol is relatively safe and an amnesiac...it is a milky color and as a Nurse, we always called it "milk of amnesia".... even doing this kind of a procedure with a patient "unrelaxed" and "unaware" is beyond my comprehension...helllooooo...lol...

[pynkkameleon]

Whew! I was afraid that nobody would reply. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your experiences!

I have to go get my twerplets on the bus but I will return shortly to touch on a few things and maybe ask another question or two?

[Rockinonahigh]

I had one done about eight years ago,they knocked me out and did the thing so I didnt remember a thing other than greasy butt from lube.I know tmi..I havent had one sence but know I should.My Doc hassels me about getting test done and I do what needs doing but it takes a team of wild horses to get me actualy IN the Doctors office.Haveing been in the medical profesion years ago I am aware of what goes on.Yuck!

[clay]

[SF_Boi]

I had one when I turned 50, but not because I turned 50. I got bit by a dog, I didn't go to the doctors and got an infection. The doctor put me on antibiotics and I had a horrible reaction to the antibiotics. So after one month with the "quick step" the doctor sent me in for the above.

To tell you the truth, I didn't feel a thing! They gave me great drugs! They went in did what they had to do and I was out in approximately 20 minutes. The preparation for the procedure entailed a gallon of a nasty tasting liquid and I had to stop eating at an early time.

Have someone there that you trust to get all the details of the results of the procedure. You will not remember a thing she/he says after everything is done.

No worries, everything will be fine! We'll be sending great thoughts your way.

[pynkkameleon]

I wasn't so excited to see the word "pain" associated with it. It is my hope that I will be as knocked out as one can be and won't feel or remember a thing. As far as I know, I will be fully put under for the procedure. Especially since it will take longer than the average routine one. Did anyone else experience pain, either during or afterwards? I assume that there will gas pains once all is said and done but I sure don't like the thought of butt pain in the middle of everything as well.

I have heard from others that the preliminary results are given immediately after waking up. Has that been others experience as well? I really dislike the idea of coming home to wait and wait to hear.

The whole colon cleanse thing sounds pretty wretched as well. I picked up my lovely Rx of colon blow concoction the other day. The only consolation there is that I might feel a bit better after cleaning out my system and might get lucky and lose a pound or two.

My 21 year old daughter will be my escort home from the hospital. We live 4 hours away from where my newly appointed Gastro is located so I expect a long trip home. Especially since I have this recurring nightmare that she will see it as a humorous way to get back at me for all of the past years of punishments and teasing that I forced her to endure and I'll find video going viral on YouTube. Not to mention that I have a few particularly sadistic friends whom I could easily see bribing her to do just that. How do I dare sleep on that home with that prospect lurking in my mind..? LOL

I thank you all for your helpful responses and good thoughts. I'll greedily take all of the positive energy that I can get.

And Clay.. I adore you more than you will ever know. You have been a constant source of support, encouragement and friendship since the very first time that we "met" on here. I love our thought provoking and giggle sessions over the phone and you truly are one of my BFF's. We've both had our share of battles but look at us both going strong. You are a hero to me.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by pynkkameleon

I wasn't so excited to see the word "pain" associated with it. It is my hope that I will be as knocked out as one can be and won't feel or remember a thing. As far as I know, I will be fully put under for the procedure. Especially since it will take longer than the average routine one. Did anyone else experience pain, either during or afterwards? I assume that there will gas pains once all is said and done but I sure don't like the thought of butt pain in the middle of everything as well.

I have heard from others that the preliminary results are given immediately after waking up. Has that been others experience as well? I really dislike the idea of coming home to wait and wait to hear.

Knocked out, no pain during or after, no memory. It really isn't bad at all.

Yes, told me results (had cancer), right then and there.

[Parker]

Originally Posted by pynkkameleon

I wasn't so excited to see the word "pain" associated with it. It is my hope that I will be as knocked out as one can be and won't feel or remember a thing. As far as I know, I will be fully put under for the procedure. Especially since it will take longer than the average routine one. Did anyone else experience pain, either during or afterwards? I assume that there will gas pains once all is said and done but I sure don't like the thought of butt pain in the middle of everything as well.

I have heard from others that the preliminary results are given immediately after waking up. Has that been others experience as well? I really dislike the idea of coming home to wait and wait to hear.

The only real pain I felt was abdominal due to cramping and just the general pressure of working the tube through the colon, which unfolds the colon in ways it doesnt want to be unfolded!

The butt pain, for me, was minimal - there was some pressure going in and out, but nothing for me to get upset (or excited) about.

Also, not only did the doctor tell me what s/he did or didnt find, since I was fully awake, I watched it on the TV ... which was kinda surreal.

[deathbypoem]

Unfortunately, I too am one that had a Colonoscopy done last year. I am 35. Have had many gastro issues and I would have to agree with the lot of folks here that the prepping is the worst. They asked me what flavor I wanted in hopes that if I picked Lemon that it would taste like sprite. Well, it smelled like pinesol. I should of used a otc laxative lol. The procedure is nothing, if you are sedated. I was. Thank god.. The other part that did bother me , was there was a room full of medical students along w/ the doctor. A total of 8 people. I said you got like 2 mins to knock me out, because I feel vulnerable!! The dude came in and administered the med, and bam I was out. Best wishes to you!! it will be ok Good luck

[The JD]

Yep, the prep is the worst part. Drinking that gallon of horrid salty lemon-lime gatorade was way worse than the procedure. It helps to keep it cold- tastes WAY worse when it warms up.

I've only had one colonoscopy, and that was over 10 years ago. My doc first ordered a procedure that only went in for 12 inches or so, and I pulled a no-show. On my next office visit, he said, "oh, I see what kind of patient you are", and ordered the "the works," so that I'd get the good drugs and not be so freaked by it.

If you have an option, definitely go for the good drugs. You won't care about farting and you won't feel pain. I want to say I got an IV drip of Demerol and Valium. Is that possible?? Anyway, I was pretty blissed out, but coherent enough to roll over when they told me to.

And who knows, you might even have fun. I did. There was a monitor mounted on the wall that projected the live camera view as the scope snaked along. I was so fascinated with the "show" that I pointed at the monitor and yelled out, "Look!! It's the Discovery Channel, and I'm the STAR!!!"

Come to think of it, the doctor and his staff had a lot of fun laughing over that too.

[CherylNYC]

I kind of envy all of you who can be sedated for this procedure. I have an adverse reaction to all sedatives. ALL of them. Even versed, which everyone swears would NEVER give a person such a reaction. That means that any sedative in my system will act like a bad speedball with a caffeine chaser. I was a teenager the first time it happened. I grabbed the doctor by the front of his white coat and threatened his life. I was frighteningly serious about it. He backed out of the room with his hands up.

I had both of my colonoscopies cold, without any sedation at all. I've developed good breathing and body awareness techniques due to being a heavy masochist BDSM player. The doctor was pretty flipped out about doing a colonoscopy without sedation, but I was very reassuring, and we did it together. The most difficult moments were when the scope had to turn a corner. The strangest thing happened somewhere around 10 minutes in. I was breathing deeply and exercising body awareness while this very intense thing was happening to my body. Even though the procedure was the antidote to eroticism, I caught a strange endorphin buzz. Plus, it was absolutely fascinating to watch the live video feed of the inside of my digestive system along with my doctor.

Yes, the recovery room was full of windy sounds. Since everyone had been well and truly cleaned out prior to the procedure, there was no odour at all, and the hospital staff doesn't even notice the noise since it's so constant. I was the only patient who was awake since everyone else had been given good drugs. One of the recovery room nurses was astonished that I would have had that procedure without sedation, and she said, "Dios, mio! No sedation!! You're so STRONG!!! You can have as many children as you want!" And then she made a squeezing motion like a quacking duck's beak with her fingers and thumb, and made explosive squirting noises with her mouth. Yes, really.