Caregivers and Stress

[Teddybear]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

My aunt took my mom and a friend out for shopping and lunch. The friend could have been a new friend for my mom, but she made a complete spectacle of herself and was totally irate and rude to her.

She threw a fit over nothing and demanded to be brought home after they went out of their way for her.

My aunt is baffled at seeing her sister like this and is at a loss, but it's new to me.

Oh I know this behavior. I have tried to get my mom to go to senior center to meet others. Oh she acts like a 2 yr old when it is even brought up.

She has friends from work however she doenst want anything to do with them?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am baffled at where this came from but to hear her tell it she has no friends outside of work and doesn't want any. We have had to talk about the fact she thinks she should be enough for me to socialize with. NO IT ISNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok today is a day full of work and running. NEXT weekend I get off and I am going out of town. Watch out Vicksburg

[GeorgiaMa'am]

My mom called me for a recipe for lemonade today.

Alzheimer's runs in our family, and my mom and my sister and I are constantly on the lookout for signs that it could be rearing its ugly head in any of us. My mom does forget things; she's easily distracted. It's probably just old age, but I know it bothers her whenever she misplaces something, or she can't wrap her head around a project.

In today's case, she said she was looking in her cookbooks for a recipe for lemonade. I'm not surprised she couldn't find one, but I didn't say so. Then she asked how I make my lemonade. (Here we come to the real point of the call.) I told her in the simplest way I could imagine, without having to measure anything. Then she said, "Oh, of course, that's the way I make mine too."

It's distressing, these little signs of losing one's mind slowly. It's most distressing because I know it's distressing to her. I think the days of her being able to live mostly on her own, with frequent visits from me and my sister are numbered. I don't know how soon it will be, but I'm pretty sure she will need full-time care soon.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaMa'am

My mom called me for a recipe for lemonade today.

Alzheimer's runs in our family, and my mom and my sister and I are constantly on the lookout for signs that it could be rearing its ugly head in any of us. My mom does forget things; she's easily distracted. It's probably just old age, but I know it bothers her whenever she misplaces something, or she can't wrap her head around a project.

In today's case, she said she was looking in her cookbooks for a recipe for lemonade. I'm not surprised she couldn't find one, but I didn't say so. Then she asked how I make my lemonade. (Here we come to the real point of the call.) I told her in the simplest way I could imagine, without having to measure anything. Then she said, "Oh, of course, that's the way I make mine too."

It's distressing, these little signs of losing one's mind slowly. It's most distressing because I know it's distressing to her. I think the days of her being able to live mostly on her own, with frequent visits from me and my sister are numbered. I don't know how soon it will be, but I'm pretty sure she will need full-time care soon.

Big hugs....yes those signs are hard.

[Teddybear]

Back to the ER we go.

I am sure they are going to run test as to why she is having the blood loss issues. The drs know I won't just let them blow this off.

I'll update later.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Teddybear

Back to the ER we go.

I am sure they are going to run test as to why she is having the blood loss issues. The drs know I won't just let them blow this off.

I'll update later.

Please let us know how things are going..........

[Teddybear]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Please let us know how things are going..........

Not good. She is bleeding again. I'm totally convinced that it is a GI issue and not due to the blood thinners.

Tomorrow they do scopes and hopefully we'll have some answers. Here's my Catch 22 I have a job interview at 9:30 in the morning an hour from the hospital but closer to where we live that my commute would be knocked in half every week.

I hated to leave her tonight and come home but I have got to have some rest prior to the interview can't go in looking like an old Haggard man that's been out on the street for a month or two.

I will update more tomorrow after the test and I get answers.

Thank you all for the kind notes of encouragement during this time

[girl_dee]

Thanks for the update.. please let us know how everything goes

[Teddybear]

Sitting in a waiting room is no fun especially first damm thing in the morning.

Once I get some answers I will post an update.

Thank you all for listening and the encouragement.

[Teddybear]

Well the test showed she has several ulcers in her colon and another pyolp.


She had a scope in February where they removed several pyolps that are likely to return and when they come back they are usually malignant. She has already fought and once a battle with Colon-rectal cancer. So now we have 3 months to wait.

Thank you for all for healing energy and prayers

[Teddybear]

uggggg.....

How do you get them to listen???!!! I come home to her telling me what we HAVE to do after doctor appts on Monday. I said ok and then asked her do you have everything your are suppose to do finished?

"NO but we can take this down to the lawyer and then I will just put this other stuff here with my will."

"Wait you told me that you had to give it to the lawyer once you finished it so that it could be included with your will"

Its been months and every other day she changes what she wants and how she wants things done.

I don't know what she wants because it has changes so often. I sometimes wonder if she keeps changing it with me to keep me off balance. She is great at pushing buttons and of course our parents know what buttons to push they installed them.

Just needed a vent moment. I know that no matter what she will do exactly what she wants.

[girl_dee]

i had a hard convo with my mom, then found out the things she told me are not even true.

i have concerns about ending up like her one day.

Then i start thinking thats exactly the kind of thing she would do.

i've never had a maternal mom, but i still miss the old her that i could at least talk to.

[Teddybear]

So this past weekend I got my time off. Well there was drama prior to me leaving but I stood firm and left. Had a great time.

Things with Momma have taken a turn and not for the better. We think she may have had a small stroke. CT has been ordered hopefully this week.

I could go on however I'm whooped and need sleep

Have a good evening

[Teddybear]

I could bite a 10penny nail in two.

Got Momma back into the ER. She had a CT scan and it showed a stroke. The doctor called said getting her to the ER for this and that. We have been here 5+ hours and we still don't know any DAMM thing.

Answers dammit. Like NOW

My brothers want to know why I haven't told them I thought it was a stroke when it happened. I'm like as y'all keep reminding me I am NOT a doctor.


I'm just done with the inadequate care I feel my mom is getting. It is extremely frustrating to say the least.

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by Teddybear

I could bite a 10penny nail in two.

Got Momma back into the ER. She had a CT scan and it showed a stroke. The doctor called said getting her to the ER for this and that. We have been here 5+ hours and we still don't know any DAMM thing.

Answers dammit. Like NOW

My brothers want to know why I haven't told them I thought it was a stroke when it happened. I'm like as y'all keep reminding me I am NOT a doctor.


I'm just done with the inadequate care I feel my mom is getting. It is extremely frustrating to say the least.

When parents get to be "of an age", Doctor's seem to forget they are people loved by their family. When my Mom was on dialysis, we struggled to keep her blood pressure high enough to complete her sessions. One day her doctor looked at me and said, "let her eat whatever she wants, let her smoke if it makes her happy"... I looked at him and he nodded....he had given up on her getting any better.

She was only 70 years old, and he didn't feel she was worth a try.

[Teddybear]

Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly

When parents get to be "of an age", Doctor's seem to forget they are people loved by their family. When my Mom was on dialysis, we struggled to keep her blood pressure high enough to complete her sessions. One day her doctor looked at me and said, "let her eat whatever she wants, let her smoke if it makes her happy"... I looked at him and he nodded....he had given up on her getting any better.

She was only 70 years old, and he didn't feel she was worth a try.

Sorry you had to deal with that. It's a shame it has come to this.


Oh my mom is only 70 and I refuse to let them think she isn't worth it. And they KNOW it.

I research everything and talk to them like I am a colleague. I can carry on that conversation and they have yet to try and out do me I am sure because I come prepared.

I am hoping they finish and let her go home with an appointment for tomorrow or keep her right now it do something time or I may show my a$$

[girl_dee]

that is another perspective, dealing with the medical teams in regards to our parents.

my mom isn't speaking to me right now, but maybe that's better than the heartache that comes after i do talk to her.

This cold shoulder is bringing up lots of "stuff" and none of it is any good.

Hard to talk about.

[Teddybear]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

that is another perspective, dealing with the medical teams in regards to our parents.

my mom isn't speaking to me right now, but maybe that's better than the heartache that comes after i do talk to her.

This cold shoulder is bringing up lots of "stuff" and none of it is any good.

Hard to talk about.

I dont know what is worse them NOT speaking to us or what they say to us when they are talking to us.

My mom in the last week has asked me NOT to have top surgery until after she is gone then she told me not to get a kayak until after she is gone. I asked why and she told me because she is scared of them I told her i wasnt asking her to get in it. She got real hateful and said then just get the damm thing.

I am not sure if that is because she doesnt like the fact i am standing up for myself or if it is part of her having this stroke.

I hate waiting at the hospital however she refuses to let me be anywhere but here with her.

Im hoping for a good outcome i will report more later.

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

that is another perspective, dealing with the medical teams in regards to our parents.

Anytime mom was near a doctor or hospital I was with her...I only left her at the end to go get food in the canteen. I can't tell you how many times I had to give her medical history, or tell them she was allergic (right there in her file) to a medication they were trying to give her!

Sick people (even younger people) need someone to be their advocate when they are in the hospital. I had a semi-medical background, but to most people medical stuff is just confusing as heck!

[girl_dee]

Yup and my mom umis convinced she is allergic to everything. Since i dont know what's real and what's not so i the assumption is that she does have allergies.. and they were giving her codeine last time... it clearly said she is allergic on all her paperwork.

Originally Posted by MsTinkerbelly

Anytime mom was near a doctor or hospital I was with her...I only left her at the end to go get food in the canteen. I can't tell you how many times I had to give her medical history, or tell them she was allergic (right there in her file) to a medication they were trying to give her!

Sick people (even younger people) need someone to be their advocate when they are in the hospital. I had a semi-medical background, but to most people medical stuff is just confusing as heck!

[Teddybear]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Yup and my mom umis convinced she is allergic to everything. Since i dont know what's real and what's not so i the assumption is that she does have allergies.. and they were giving her codeine last time... it clearly said she is allergic on all her paperwork.

My grandfather was allergic to iodine. It was in BIG letters on the outside of his chart. When CT scans first came out the contrast dye had iodine in them. They moved him from one hospital to another, got him all prepped for the CT scan and the procedure he was scheduled for. As they were getting ready to shoot the dye into his arm when the dr seen the BIG letters on his chart that said ALLERGIC and then iodine.

We all know that multiple ppl see these charts from doctors to the transport person that took him from one hospital to another.


I am thankful they caught it prior to using it on him we had another 16 years with him.