Caregivers and Stress

[girl_dee]

My aunt took my mom and a friend out for shopping and lunch. The friend could have been a new friend for my mom, but she made a complete spectacle of herself and was totally irate and rude to her.

She threw a fit over nothing and demanded to be brought home after they went out of their way for her.

My aunt is baffled at seeing her sister like this and is at a loss, but it's new to me.

[Teddybear]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

My aunt took my mom and a friend out for shopping and lunch. The friend could have been a new friend for my mom, but she made a complete spectacle of herself and was totally irate and rude to her.

She threw a fit over nothing and demanded to be brought home after they went out of their way for her.

My aunt is baffled at seeing her sister like this and is at a loss, but it's new to me.

Oh I know this behavior. I have tried to get my mom to go to senior center to meet others. Oh she acts like a 2 yr old when it is even brought up.

She has friends from work however she doenst want anything to do with them?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am baffled at where this came from but to hear her tell it she has no friends outside of work and doesn't want any. We have had to talk about the fact she thinks she should be enough for me to socialize with. NO IT ISNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok today is a day full of work and running. NEXT weekend I get off and I am going out of town. Watch out Vicksburg

[GeorgiaMa'am]

My mom called me for a recipe for lemonade today.

Alzheimer's runs in our family, and my mom and my sister and I are constantly on the lookout for signs that it could be rearing its ugly head in any of us. My mom does forget things; she's easily distracted. It's probably just old age, but I know it bothers her whenever she misplaces something, or she can't wrap her head around a project.

In today's case, she said she was looking in her cookbooks for a recipe for lemonade. I'm not surprised she couldn't find one, but I didn't say so. Then she asked how I make my lemonade. (Here we come to the real point of the call.) I told her in the simplest way I could imagine, without having to measure anything. Then she said, "Oh, of course, that's the way I make mine too."

It's distressing, these little signs of losing one's mind slowly. It's most distressing because I know it's distressing to her. I think the days of her being able to live mostly on her own, with frequent visits from me and my sister are numbered. I don't know how soon it will be, but I'm pretty sure she will need full-time care soon.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaMa'am

My mom called me for a recipe for lemonade today.

Alzheimer's runs in our family, and my mom and my sister and I are constantly on the lookout for signs that it could be rearing its ugly head in any of us. My mom does forget things; she's easily distracted. It's probably just old age, but I know it bothers her whenever she misplaces something, or she can't wrap her head around a project.

In today's case, she said she was looking in her cookbooks for a recipe for lemonade. I'm not surprised she couldn't find one, but I didn't say so. Then she asked how I make my lemonade. (Here we come to the real point of the call.) I told her in the simplest way I could imagine, without having to measure anything. Then she said, "Oh, of course, that's the way I make mine too."

It's distressing, these little signs of losing one's mind slowly. It's most distressing because I know it's distressing to her. I think the days of her being able to live mostly on her own, with frequent visits from me and my sister are numbered. I don't know how soon it will be, but I'm pretty sure she will need full-time care soon.

Big hugs....yes those signs are hard.

[Teddybear]

Back to the ER we go.

I am sure they are going to run test as to why she is having the blood loss issues. The drs know I won't just let them blow this off.

I'll update later.

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Teddybear

Back to the ER we go.

I am sure they are going to run test as to why she is having the blood loss issues. The drs know I won't just let them blow this off.

I'll update later.

Please let us know how things are going..........

[Teddybear]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Please let us know how things are going..........

Not good. She is bleeding again. I'm totally convinced that it is a GI issue and not due to the blood thinners.

Tomorrow they do scopes and hopefully we'll have some answers. Here's my Catch 22 I have a job interview at 9:30 in the morning an hour from the hospital but closer to where we live that my commute would be knocked in half every week.

I hated to leave her tonight and come home but I have got to have some rest prior to the interview can't go in looking like an old Haggard man that's been out on the street for a month or two.

I will update more tomorrow after the test and I get answers.

Thank you all for the kind notes of encouragement during this time

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

My aunt took my mom and a friend out for shopping and lunch. The friend could have been a new friend for my mom, but she made a complete spectacle of herself and was totally irate and rude to her.

She threw a fit over nothing and demanded to be brought home after they went out of their way for her.

My aunt is baffled at seeing her sister like this and is at a loss, but it's not new to me.

So after all the commotion to move away to be with my aunt, the honeymoon period lasted about a week.

She wants to go back to the place she hated before.

and wants me to help her get there.

[Teddybear]

So today I took Momma to Atlanta and she had her procedure done. Dr says it went great and that he doesn't see any reason to think there will be complications.

Tomorrow we go home if she tolerates food and is feeling good in the morning

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Teddybear

So today I took Momma to Atlanta and she had her procedure done. Dr says it went great and that he doesn't see any reason to think there will be complications.

Tomorrow we go home if she tolerates food and is feeling good in the morning

good to hear. i hope it continues to go well!

[Teddybear]

So we are 2 weeks out from the procedure. I don't see much of an improvement however I do see some old signs popping back up that are a concern

Also today we were told she has dementia not sure how far along it is more test and hopefully we will know.

Prayers to all the care givers.

[Teddybear]

So I had a meeting at corporate on my new job and was told it isn't just being over one department but I am now the NEW Assistant Safety Manager in training to take over the department

I called and told my mom with my baby brother there. Now no one wants to talk about a move for her or me.

I have tried to get the dialogue started only to be shot down by her and them. Everyone wants to wait until the last minute. I don't understand how they expect that to what we should do.

What if she decides not to come with me I am left waiting until them to find a place wth? What if she decides to go to one of them? Are they coming here to get her? What about her house?

I am a planner and I have to have a plan. I moved here with only 1 day to pack and move. I wont do it again. I seem to be swimming against the current yes I am strong but dam.

I want her taken care of im just not sure if it is me who is the best for her at this point.

[Kelt]

Let me start by saying I'm dictating this into an iPad, so please forgive the inevitable grammar and word use issues.

Well, 10 days ago mom went down real hard. It was one of those phone calls that make you throw the suitcase in the car and drop everything. I think she'll be OK in the long run but it could also be a tipping point, she'll either go up or down from here. She took a fall in the kitchen and broke her upper arm very badly up by the ball of the shoulder and also cracked her pelvis. Had surgery the next day and replaced the ball half of the shoulder joint. I've been having all kinds of trouble in her town trying to find enough resources. I got her out of the hospital a couple of days ago and now she's in a group home, contracted physical therapy starts today, so I will see how it goes. Since she is not in a nursing home, that means that the 100 days of Medicare paid room and board does not apply. Everything is out of pocket, Ouch!

I believe that she can completely heal, 80 to 90% anyway. It's going to be a matter of compliance on her part and since she has been in the hospital for a week and now yet another unfamiliar setting her dementia is kicking in fully and she is completely spun out. I want to get her back into her own place as soon as possible so that she can start comprehending what's going on. I know that going forward, assuming I can get her back into her apartment, the amount of additional staff I will have for her will be going up on a permanent basis, she needs it.

For myself I really wish this had happened in the spring. There are three mountain passes between us and we're just starting snow season. The passes are frequently closed for a few days at a time all throughout the winter, they are nasty and remote. Oh well, when it's mom I will do whatever has to be done.

Of course since she had been doing so well for the last year and a half I finally decided to go ahead and do some big improvements on my house. So now there are a lot more scheduling issues to work around. But that's about me, and this is about her. She's a hell of a lot more important.

So I guess that's my update, things are going to get interesting…

[Teddybear]

Originally Posted by Teddybear

So I had a meeting at corporate on my new job and was told it isn't just being over one department but I am now the NEW Assistant Safety Manager in training to take over the department

I called and told my mom with my baby brother there. Now no one wants to talk about a move for her or me.

I have tried to get the dialogue started only to be shot down by her and them. Everyone wants to wait until the last minute. I don't understand how they expect that to what we should do.

What if she decides not to come with me I am left waiting until them to find a place wth? What if she decides to go to one of them? Are they coming here to get her? What about her house?

I am a planner and I have to have a plan. I moved here with only 1 day to pack and move. I wont do it again. I seem to be swimming against the current yes I am strong but dam.

I want her taken care of im just not sure if it is me who is the best for her at this point.

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I moved to Little Rock without her. She went with my baby brother for almost 2 weeks before she went to stay with my older brother which was the plan since BB( baby brother) was to travel for his job however there seems to be a wrinkle now as he has lost his job or he quit. So now she is hoping he wont find new job and they will end u back at her house.

Up until my mom got to the OB(oldest of my 2 brothers) she had no clue if they had a room on the main floor for her. They did under OB and his wife's bedroom. I'm not sure how that is going to work since she gets up early and wants to talk to me on my way to work and to BB. When we call her it wakes him. She wont call us unless we haven't called her until OB and his wife have left for work.

Seems she is dragging her feet about finding a doctor because of her hope of going home. I have tried to tell her the BB will find a job and it wont be where she lives. She I having no part of it.

I think she will be with me around Feb if not before only time will tell. I will keep yall updated.

I