New sex partner=new toys? Your opinion

[meridiantoo]

I am having a debate with a butch friend of mine and we wanted to enlist the opinions of others to see what is the norm and what reasoning people have behind their opinion...

If you have a new sex partner, does that require new toys also? Is that just a preference or a requirement? Does it include all toys or just the most intimate ones? And why do you hold your opinion?

I will start with my view on this. I am not comfortable having sex with someone who is using any toys from previous lovers. This is not a territorial thing for me, it's a matter of respect and boundaries and practicing good hygiene. I can't deny a twinge of jealousy or some feeling with the idea that a toy we are using was also used with another woman, but mostly it's about my partner and her perspective on respect and boundaries, not so much about the ex lover.

Thanks for sharing!

[The_Lady_Snow]

I think it varies and it's a personal choice. Some people are going to want to buy new sex toys together, other folks are safe and use protection so therefore because that is their cock they aren't just gonna go buy a new one just because they want to have sex with different folks. Hence the protection. It's a personal choice and something that either couples, one night stands, dates, fucking partners are going to want to have that talk before getting down to business...

[juliebrave]

I have mixed feelings on the issue. While I *want* all new toys when with a new partner, I also get that some folks view their parts as parts and not "toys." Its hard, for sure.

[QueenofSmirks]

You can find lots of replies on this topic in this thread: http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...t=3747&page=74

[Little Fish]

I don't think there is one standard approach or sense of sexual "etiquette" around this specifically. As the Lady Snow points out, the decision is highly individual to the pairing(s) and warrants clear communication.

I think some things to consider are cost--a quality cock usually costs >$100-
(I'm thinking something along the Vixskin or RealDoe line...) I think most Butches have more than one (and you Femmes like this too I might add...) and in addition, may also pack with a pack-n-play cock as well. And the harness too--that's another potentially pricey piece of Lifestyle Equipment...added up, this is about $400-

But also, how any given Butch identifies (or doesn't) with their own cock should be considered too. Butch cock is highly personal. I can appreciate that a new lover may not want to use a cock I've used previously with another, in which case more conversation needs to take place.

In short, I don't think there is one right answer regarding new/not new Butch cock in the same way I think we would ALL agree that covering our mouths while sneezing is a good thing.

[TheMerryFairy]

It would depend on the situation and person I think, for me. I have some that are just for ME. There are some that I would use with multiple sex partners or parterns in general if they were mine because I know they were cleaned well and there are those that are meant to only be used with one person and if that ends that's that.

There are some that I am sure I would want to replace, or a few new ones to add with others.

I don't have all that many myself and I haven't used them all that often in comparison with some other people I know.

If somebody wants to use a toy with me that they used with somebody else, I wouldn't mind realy.

I have also been with people all across the spectrum and sometimes those "toys" are more than that to people, they aren't toys. Of course when it comes to gender variance and trans folk this subject can become a different topic all together. Not everybody has the same opinion.

The most important thing to remember is safety and precaution whether it's a one night stand or a standing relationship.

[jac]

I purchase all new with any new relationship. I personally don't do one night stands so it's not a matter of quantity. It's quality to me and with that I am referring to, she deserves new and solely meant for her. It's a respect thing for me.

This is only about how I feel on this topic, not as butch as a whole.

[~ocean]

~ hy has class ~ of course they were new ~

[Cailin]

I'm torn too. I have a WHOLE bag of items in my closet. Thing is, they were only ever used on me, but because my ex was the one who buckled down (so to speak) should I get rid of them? Its not like they had alot of wear and tear. They're practically brand spanking new.


However, I can see how some items may have memories associated with them, and could lead to jealousy/territorial issues. If I was just some girl, I dont think i'd mind if it was used on other people. But if i'm a "special" someone in their life, then I surely wouldn't want the same stuff that they used with their ex gf/ex wife of many years, inside me.

[Diablo]

i would have no problem using their toys on them...but the toys i have are not cheap and i would never throw them away..simply because i have used them on another woman. I am obsessive about cleaning them..and using them safely. If a woman were to ask me to toss my toys simply because i had used them on another woman...id ask her to consider the bed shes laying in, that i have slept with other women in that very same bed. So does that mean she wouldnt sleep in my bed? What about my tongue?? If anything is more intimate than my sex toys, it would be my tongue. I can guarantee you...im NEVER getting rid of that thing. Stop having an ego in sex and realize we've all had other partners.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by ~ocean

~ hy has class ~ of course they were new ~

People who choose to NOT buy sex toys for EACH liaison aren't classless. It has zero to do with class, Femmes aren't expected to get new vaginas each time we fuck.

[LeftWriteFemme]

Hy always bought everything new, so I was never faced with thinking about this, but I can understand how 'born again' in the dishwasher might redeem a cock from any memory of past encounters of the flesh....I mean seriously Hy washed Hys hands and they were good as new.....

[dixie]

Originally Posted by PsychoSlipknot

*snip*

If a woman were to ask me to toss my toys simply because i had used them on another woman...id ask her to consider the bed shes laying in, that i have slept with other women in that very same bed. So does that mean she wouldnt sleep in my bed? What about my tongue?? If anything is more intimate than my sex toys, it would be my tongue. I can guarantee you...im NEVER getting rid of that thing.

*snip*

Originally Posted by LeftWriteFemme

Hy always bought everything new, so I was never faced with thinking about this, but I can understand how 'born again' in the dishwasher might redeem a cock from any memory of past encounters of the flesh....I mean seriously Hy washed Hys hands and they were good as new.....

Pretty much my exact thoughts.

[Cailin]

Not everyone is as awesome as you at cleaning tho darlin Gross, but i've found some .... icky... people out there. However for me, when something has been in commission for a while things tend to break down and can cause issues with my insides. So if one were with a girlfriend or wife for a long time (talking years upon years) and had a healthy sex life, that item may not necessarily be in as great a shape. I've found that my body tends to reject certain items. It's not that i'm like "you nasty ass. I dont want you f*cking me and thinking about her". It's more like "hmmmm.... i'd really like to enjoy whats about to happen, but I know in mid fun, I will end up in pain". But if condoms were used, then I'm good.


btw.- if you clone your tongue, I'll take 2. Thanks

Originally Posted by PsychoSlipknot

i would have no problem using their toys on them...but the toys i have are not cheap and i would never throw them away..simply because i have used them on another woman. I am obsessive about cleaning them..and using them safely. If a woman were to ask me to toss my toys simply because i had used them on another woman...id ask her to consider the bed shes laying in, that i have slept with other women in that very same bed. So does that mean she wouldnt sleep in my bed? What about my tongue?? If anything is more intimate than my sex toys, it would be my tongue. I can guarantee you...im NEVER getting rid of that thing. Stop having an ego in sex and realize we've all had other partners.

[Diablo]

Originally Posted by Cailin

Not everyone is as awesome as you at cleaning tho darlin Gross, but i've found some .... icky... people out there. However for me, when something has been in commission for a while things tend to break down and can cause issues with my insides. So if one were with a girlfriend or wife for a long time (talking years upon years) and had a healthy sex life, that item may not necessarily be in as great a shape. I've found that my body tends to reject certain items. It's not that i'm like "you nasty ass. I dont want you f*cking me and thinking about her". It's more like "hmmmm.... i'd really like to enjoy whats about to happen, but I know in mid fun, I will end up in pain". But if condoms were used, then I'm good.


btw.- if you clone your tongue, I'll take 2. Thanks

its all about common sense......you have something unsafe or broken...dont use it. Ive never slept with an unclean person...gak at the thought....i dont think it would ever get to first base let alone home plate if they were dirty...gak gak gak.....

[KCBUTCH]

I think its a personal choice
I mean what about prosthetic's which are far from toys and custom made at least $1500 minimum that are part of the persons identity, it's not a black and white question.
I often get new cocks, not always because of it being new or used but because I don't want to be reminded of the EX, I also got new sheets. But that was a personal choice.
If I were still playing the field as I did in my younger years no way I used what was there
I have had the same leather harness for upwards of 22 or so years and have modified it as I grew LOL My leather goods are custom made are will not be exchanged. So who knows...
For me certain things I don't care to share despite using protection every time.
I really think it cannot be answered as either you do or you don't no more than the spectrum of gender variances that the question may relate to.

[meridiantoo]

Originally Posted by Cailin

But if i'm a "special" someone in their life, then I surely wouldn't want the same stuff that they used with their ex gf/ex wife of many years, inside me.

Exactly!

[imadiva]

New toys please and thank you! I understand about the harness and anything that stays outside of the body but I feel that anything that enters the body or private areas of the body should totally be new. New toys ,new memories, new pleasures ! Out with the old ! Really for sanitary reasons bacteria and virus can live on surfaces and the materials are sometimes porous so no matter how clean it looks it could still harbor some yuck in and on it ! Sooooo be for me !

[meridiantoo]

Originally Posted by PsychoSlipknot

I am obsessive about cleaning them.

I am sure you are, dix, but I don't think everyone is....

And I would contemplate another bed as well...if it's serious

[FeminineAllure]

One thing I have had a problem with is size.
Every women is different. Yes I know it expands...but can we keep it real?
Some cocks just are not going to fit comfortably. So yes, a bio man may have a naturally enormous cock but we get a choice. That is a plus to me.