Forgiveness

[Julie]

I can and will forgive any action (be it verbal or physical) which has been handed down to me.

In order for me to heal from the assault/action, I must forgive. If I carry the anger/hurt with me, then I will not heal, nor will I be able to shed this emotion from my being. I have been assaulted and without going into the details of my assault -- I needed to forgive my perpetrators in order to heal. People who knew of this, were pretty upset with me, that I would even consider it, to go to that place for them. If I continued the hurt/anger - then I would be a victim. I cannot ever be a victim. This would destroy me internally -- This does not work for all people, but it worked for me and continues to do so.

Forgiving myself... This is a much deeper and more difficult notion for me to conquer. I still carry the pain and sadness, of all the hurt I have created in others. I do not believe the hurt I have caused was intentional and it does not matter for me. What matters, I brought sadness and hurt to another person. For me, I cannot use the "I am human." There is no excuse for me.

Julie... I grew up with an orthodox grandmother and with the traditions and prayers you spoke of. I wish I could go back there sometimes - I have this block which keeps me from going there. I think, I have yet to forgive G-D - perhaps that should be part of my forgiving.

Julie