What do YOU need to feel loved?

imperfect_cupcake · 12-07-2015, 12:49 AM

My friends, my family, a kitty, a career that I love has made the biggest difference in my life ever. I get people I can help with pain, I touch people I helpful, non-hurtful, non-sexual ways all day - for many it's the first time they have experienced that. I love introducing people to new touch, especially if they have difficulty with touch. I know how much it can change brain chemistry, and I think it's important. As someone who was trained as a primatologist, I know how important touch is to our functioning as primates. Our brain chemistry changes for the better even when we think we don't need it, so getting a very good, well trained massage (non-invasive) eases stresses when we don't have regular touch in our lives.

The care I can bring my patients and the respect I get back I can't tell you much that matters in my life. I used to suffer from depression, stress, feeling like I wasn't any use or that I wasn't good enough... Became codependent in relationship by tiring myself out trying to be useful to others and killing myself in the process, trying to get praise and a sense of value. Work certainly didn't give it to me - bosses and line mangers were awful, when I worked in service industry customers were rude and sometimes down right cruel.

Now I work with people who are genuinely interested in what I can do to help. And actually doing something that stops pain by adjusting their bodies is better than an orgasm.

So it affects how I feel in myself and how I feel with others. I still need cuddles from my friends, from my cat. I still need intimacy from my friends. But I'm way, way more happy single now and feel loved and appreciated and I'm not killing myself for someone anymore. My patience for bullshit is zero as well, because I know how easy it is to be single. Frankly, it's easier lol.

I've got a good family and good friends and an amazing career. Broke as fuck, mind. But I have my rent and bills paid and I can eat. So, I'm ok.

I do feel loved. I also feel I can take care of myself and it's not hard. Not a struggle.

12-07-2015, 12:49 AM	#27
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,712 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	My friends, my family, a kitty, a career that I love has made the biggest difference in my life ever. I get people I can help with pain, I touch people I helpful, non-hurtful, non-sexual ways all day - for many it's the first time they have experienced that. I love introducing people to new touch, especially if they have difficulty with touch. I know how much it can change brain chemistry, and I think it's important. As someone who was trained as a primatologist, I know how important touch is to our functioning as primates. Our brain chemistry changes for the better even when we think we don't need it, so getting a very good, well trained massage (non-invasive) eases stresses when we don't have regular touch in our lives. The care I can bring my patients and the respect I get back I can't tell you much that matters in my life. I used to suffer from depression, stress, feeling like I wasn't any use or that I wasn't good enough... Became codependent in relationship by tiring myself out trying to be useful to others and killing myself in the process, trying to get praise and a sense of value. Work certainly didn't give it to me - bosses and line mangers were awful, when I worked in service industry customers were rude and sometimes down right cruel. Now I work with people who are genuinely interested in what I can do to help. And actually doing something that stops pain by adjusting their bodies is better than an orgasm. So it affects how I feel in myself and how I feel with others. I still need cuddles from my friends, from my cat. I still need intimacy from my friends. But I'm way, way more happy single now and feel loved and appreciated and I'm not killing myself for someone anymore. My patience for bullshit is zero as well, because I know how easy it is to be single. Frankly, it's easier lol. I've got a good family and good friends and an amazing career. Broke as fuck, mind. But I have my rent and bills paid and I can eat. So, I'm ok. I do feel loved. I also feel I can take care of myself and it's not hard. Not a struggle.