What do YOU need to feel loved?

[Rufusboi]

Trust is the biggest thing I need. I don't need lots of reassurance or much affection or any romance. If we trust each other then I know she loves me. I need someone I can trust and someone who is emotionally independent and her own woman. That makes me feel loved. Rufus.

[Apocalipstic]

Trust and respect.

I am not very romantic.

[PearlsNLace]

Affirmations really help. Praise/acknowledgement. Attention. I dont think I need bucket loads, but yes, daily attention I do find essential. Im like a plant, I need lots of light and water.

[Random]

Originally Posted by PearlsNLace

Affirmations really help. Praise/acknowledgement. Attention. I dont think I need bucket loads, but yes, daily attention I do find essential. Im like a plant, I need lots of light and water.

Wow.. this is interesting...

I hadn't thought of people as plants... but we are like them arn't we?

You just have to have the right gardener...

[BullDog]

Respect and a true commitment to work through the tough as well as easy times.

[SuperFemme]

Love of self. Without that I tend to be numb to any other kind of love.

[Ms. Meander]

Hugs are helpful

[Softhearted]

To feel loved and secure I simply need someone who believes in me and who can give me moral support in what I'm doing career-wise.... (yup, I once had a girlfriend who basically denigrated almost everything I did or choose to do).

I need someone who can hold me and show me empathy if things doesn't work out the way I planned... (Don't want to hear the proverbial "I told you so" or "What were you thinking?").

Also, in my own opinion, mutual trust and mutual respect are 2 fundamental keys to a good relationship.

Oh, and some flowers once in a while ! ( I love to give them too! )

[MrSunshine]

the ability to communicate like an adult.

honesty, integrity, open to other ideas besides their own.

And for shit sakes don't try to run the fuck!

[socialjustice_fsu]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Love of self. Without that I tend to be numb to any other kind of love.

I so agree with this statement. It is the foundation for all good things to come. In some ways I believe this is where we fail in relationships simply because we don't understand the importance and vital role of loving ourselves. I believe it essential to have this in order to be open for another human being to enter our lives/hearts. I believe, for me, I must have a sense of peace - in me - around me. A turbulent soul finds that love alludes them, true?

I must have passion. Not just about each other but simply about living. Passion segues to many other emotions I feel we were all meant to partake. Become passionate and watch passion grow in another. It unfolds beautifully given the chance.

To be feel loved I need to share deep conversations with another. It connects our heads, hearts, souls. Talk with me not to me. Teach me. I will teach you.

To be loved I need one to understand the pain that comes with living and dying. How can you understand my grief when you come to the table of life with no experiences? I believe one has to know deep pain to know deep joy. This is part of the process.

To be loved I want respect. I believe it must be earned. It is how I treat my lover and how I want to be treated in return. Simple, yet it requires work and attention.

What else I need to feel loved...one that understands the breadth and width of odd family dynamics. To understand the connections and the distances. There are bona fide reasons for both.

Lastly, to feel loved I know I need to be validated as a woman, a human being, and a participant in life. Let me know, from time to time, my worth to you. Not so much appreciation, per se, but let me know I mean something to you and my life has meaning. I strive to live a life of significance and I need a witness. I hope to continue to lead a life of service to others (hospice) and my sense of worth comes to me in a myriad of ways - but hearing one say so - well, it simply soothes me and I feel loved.

[Kobi]

For me, whether it is a friendship or relationship, the most important thing is taking the time to get to know someone and developing a solid foundation based on trust, honesty, and mutual respect.

To get to know someone, who they are, what they want in life, their beliefs, goals, dreams, the experiences that made them who they are, their heritage etc is a most invigorating, fascinating and satisfying thing to do.

For me, taking the time to get to know me is the greatest gift I could ever receive. Allowing me to get to know you is an honor. To be known and understood ….there is nothing that compares to it.

Words and actions which reflect this understanding are important to me. I don’t need to be wined, dined, and showered with gifts. An impromptu picnic somewhere in nature means a lot to me. A card that reminds you of me, a seashell, a flower…that is what reflects your understanding of me and makes me feel special.

It is also very important to me that the other person be secure enough in themselves to not be threatened by my need to be my own person with my own interests, pals, activities, and alone time. I am not a “2 will become 1” kind of person, nor do I want to carry someone around in my pocket 24/7.

The ability to be comfortable with separateness and the advantages it provides to both the one and the couple is paramount for me to feel safe and loved.

[weatherboi]

Strong trust bond...
I would rather someone talk to me about a fear or insecurity before making up stuff in their head about it. I know I am gonna try like hell to do the same.

Checking in with each other regularly...
I am gonna approach the person I am with and ask if everything is ok with the relationship. I am gonna ask if there is something I can do to make things easier/smoother. I am gonna ask if I am igniting the fire on the regular or if I need to step it up. My expectation is my partner do the same. I have had some great all night long conversations from this approach.

Support the girl and the growth...
I am a proud sponsor of the "you go on and grow girl" club . No membership fee required to join. Life is short and we all gotta get our piece of the pie in every compartment of our lives. I need this to be reciprocated.

Common interests and support of things that are not so commonly interesting to one party or the other. Enthusiasm

Passion and input please and I am not talking about sex. I am referring to opinions about the life we are living and having them.

Sex is important to me in a relationship in order to feel loved. I am a lover of fucking and having painful raw dirty random renedevouz's so I am gonna be cruising my mate constantly inside the home and outside the home. I like to feel this reciprocated.

this makes me feel loved and secure
this also makes me feel loved and secure


willingness to negotiate is a good quality

i may or may not be back to post more...

[Beau]

Apparently, all I ever needed was a sweet, brilliant, pixie Cubana with an amazing mind, incredible passion, raucous humor, and divine soul.

Life with my Queen makes me feel intensely loved.

[NJFemmie]

Originally Posted by Beau

Apparently, all I ever needed was a sweet, brilliant, pixie Cubana with an amazing mind, incredible passion, raucous humor, and divine soul.

Life with my Queen makes me feel intensely loved.

Ditto, 'cept mine is Polish and comes complete with torture equipment.
*sigh* Life is GRAND!

[WolfyOne]

Originally Posted by Rufusboi

Trust is the biggest thing I need. I don't need lots of reassurance or much affection or any romance. If we trust each other then I know she loves me. I need someone I can trust and someone who is emotionally independent and her own woman. That makes me feel loved. Rufus.

This is exactly what I need and how I feel.

Trust has to come before anything else because where there is no trust there cannot be any love.