Showing scars: what are your relationship fears?

Signmypapyrus · 04-18-2018, 06:48 PM

Hm, I guess since I’m relatively anonymous online I can state my fears... 🙈🙈
Like most people, I fear getting hurt, but I think because of some childhood issues which I posted about elsewhere, I’m incredibly wary of letting anyone close. My closest friends said it took *years* to get to know me because I keep people at a distance, or as my sister said, I’m “prickly.” I love being alone and I love my freedom, but I live with the terror I’ll go through that childhood stuff again.
In February, I made myself go out on a date and I actually liked the woman, but I just imagined all the awful things she could do so it turned into an awkward nightmare. I bet she’s a wonderful person and I wish I could apologize to her, but my brain sort of goes into panic mode.

04-18-2018, 06:48 PM	#18
Signmypapyrus Junior Member How Do You Identify?: * Preferred Pronoun?: * Join Date: Mar 2018 Location: * Posts: 66 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 59 Thanked 181 Times in 53 Posts Rep Power: 1675671	Hm, I guess since I’m relatively anonymous online I can state my fears... 🙈🙈 Like most people, I fear getting hurt, but I think because of some childhood issues which I posted about elsewhere, I’m incredibly wary of letting anyone close. My closest friends said it took years to get to know me because I keep people at a distance, or as my sister said, I’m “prickly.” I love being alone and I love my freedom, but I live with the terror I’ll go through that childhood stuff again. In February, I made myself go out on a date and I actually liked the woman, but I just imagined all the awful things she could do so it turned into an awkward nightmare. I bet she’s a wonderful person and I wish I could apologize to her, but my brain sort of goes into panic mode. __________________ “(I)f we are going to be kind, let it be out of simple generosity, not because we fear guilt or retribution.” --from Disgrace by JM Coetzee