Auntie Diva's Story Time

Diva · 11-09-2009, 01:54 PM

Boys and girls, this was a story your Auntie Diva wrote when she went to the NYC Dance in April of 2008.....I thought you cousins might enjoy a laugh at your Auntie Diva's expense.....

***********************

Yes, boys and girls....it's storytime with Auntie Diva once again!

Today's story is about Auntie Diva and the Maypole.....

Well!

Auntie Diva wants to tell You about the Maypole, children! Now one might think that dancing around the Maypole should ONLY happen in May!!

Au contraire, boys and girls!! For Auntie Diva ~ being the hooligan that she IS ~ has danced around the Maypole in APRIL!!!

Did You know that Auntie Diva danced around the APRILpole? Oh yes she DID! Auntie Diva was at a big, amazing dance this past weekend! Can You say "A fun time was had by ALL", boys and girls?

SO! Your Auntie Diva looked and looked and looked....and there! She spotted the perfect pole around which to dance! So, she took off her shoes (a lovely, strappy little black open~toed/open~heeled alligator, 2" heel slide) and crossed the floor to the pole. There, Auntie Diva decided to dance with the pole in such a way that one may very well have thought her name could have been Helga, The Striptease Artist from the 1930's! Oh YES, boys and girls!

Dance, dance, dance....see Auntie Diva dance!!!

Now, here is the lesson for today, boys and girls ~ always dance around the Aprilpole in shoes which grip the floor ~ unless of course you're dancing on the NOVEMBERpole, in which case the pole resembles a turkey leg and is MUCH easier to hang onto. Plus, you get a snack! (Feel free to use this for future reference!)

Your Auntie Diva clearly did not have on her grippy shoes!! The twirling began innocently enough, boys and girls ~ as you know your Auntie Diva IS innocent as the sky on a sunny day! ~ however, things took a downward spiral rather quickly......literally! And, centrifical force and gravity ~ is this redundant? ~ being what it IS ~ and your Auntie Diva being Rubenesque ~ well....shall we just say that she was as graceful as she could possibly have been in this situation when the gravity took over your Auntie Diva's ass! And she just decided to go with it and make it look like she MEANT to spin to the floor.....just like a warped hula hoop!

Oh yes!!!! Splat, Auntie Diva, splat!!!!

It became apparent that many of the attendees might think your Auntie Diva had been sipping on the Appletini bottle without a straw, but NOOOoooooo!!! Your Auntie Diva had only had 2 small glasses of pinot grigio and was in complete control of her faculties.....however she clearly was NOT in control of her hula hoops!

And the 2nd lesson today, boys and girls? Perhaps the Maypole Dance SHOULD be reserved for May after all!!!!

Signed,
Your Auntie Diva
Pole Dance Instructor To The Masses

11-09-2009, 01:54 PM	#19
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,179 Times in 5,238 Posts Rep Power: 0	Boys and girls, this was a story your Auntie Diva wrote when she went to the NYC Dance in April of 2008.....I thought you cousins might enjoy a laugh at your Auntie Diva's expense..... *********************** Yes, boys and girls....it's storytime with Auntie Diva once again! Today's story is about Auntie Diva and the Maypole..... Well! Auntie Diva wants to tell You about the Maypole, children! Now one might think that dancing around the Maypole should ONLY happen in May!! Au contraire, boys and girls!! For Auntie Diva ~ being the hooligan that she IS ~ has danced around the Maypole in APRIL!!! Did You know that Auntie Diva danced around the APRILpole? Oh yes she DID! Auntie Diva was at a big, amazing dance this past weekend! Can You say "A fun time was had by ALL", boys and girls? SO! Your Auntie Diva looked and looked and looked....and there! She spotted the perfect pole around which to dance! So, she took off her shoes (a lovely, strappy little black open~toed/open~heeled alligator, 2" heel slide) and crossed the floor to the pole. There, Auntie Diva decided to dance with the pole in such a way that one may very well have thought her name could have been Helga, The Striptease Artist from the 1930's! Oh YES, boys and girls! Dance, dance, dance....see Auntie Diva dance!!! Now, here is the lesson for today, boys and girls ~ always dance around the Aprilpole in shoes which grip the floor ~ unless of course you're dancing on the NOVEMBERpole, in which case the pole resembles a turkey leg and is MUCH easier to hang onto. Plus, you get a snack! (Feel free to use this for future reference!) Your Auntie Diva clearly did not have on her grippy shoes!! The twirling began innocently enough, boys and girls ~ as you know your Auntie Diva IS innocent as the sky on a sunny day! ~ however, things took a downward spiral rather quickly......literally! And, centrifical force and gravity ~ is this redundant? ~ being what it IS ~ and your Auntie Diva being Rubenesque ~ well....shall we just say that she was as graceful as she could possibly have been in this situation when the gravity took over your Auntie Diva's ass! And she just decided to go with it and make it look like she MEANT to spin to the floor.....just like a warped hula hoop! Oh yes!!!! Splat, Auntie Diva, splat!!!! It became apparent that many of the attendees might think your Auntie Diva had been sipping on the Appletini bottle without a straw, but NOOOoooooo!!! Your Auntie Diva had only had 2 small glasses of pinot grigio and was in complete control of her faculties.....however she clearly was NOT in control of her hula hoops! And the 2nd lesson today, boys and girls? Perhaps the Maypole Dance SHOULD be reserved for May after all!!!! Signed, Your Auntie Diva Pole Dance Instructor To The Masses