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11-09-2009, 12:49 PM
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#1 |
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Junior Member
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Trans Preferred Pronoun?:
he Relationship Status:
Married 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: England
Posts: 28
Thanks: 4
Thanked 82 Times in 13 Posts
Rep Power: 660744   |
Count me in...I been bit.
How about I go fetch y'all some waaaaan, Muz Diva? |
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11-09-2009, 01:01 PM
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#2 |
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Timed Out
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Diva
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chez Diva
Posts: 11,879
Thanks: 9,263
Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts
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How New York City got its name.....
Gather 'round, boys and girls....it's storytime with Auntie Diva!!!!
Well......I'm sure you have all heard, kids, that your Auntie Diva went to The Big Apple!! Yes, that's right! New York City!! Now.....did I hear one of you asking why they call New York City "The Big Apple"? I THOUGHT so!!! It's a very good question, boys and girls! And I'm going to tell you why!!! New York City is a very big city, as I mentioned earlier. It's also called "The City That Never Sleeps", boys and girls. And because the people don't sleep there, sometimes they hallucinate! Ha ~ LOO ~ sin ~ ate....let's say it together......Hah-LOO-sin-ate. Very GOOD, boys and girls!!! And because they DID that ~ the word contains "sin".....and the original sin was Eve......and she ate THE BIG APPLE! Eve was from New York City, boys and girls!! See? Yes...another educadtional experience from your Auntie Diva, kids! I'm a giver that way! Signed, Your Auntie Diva |
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11-09-2009, 01:03 PM
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#3 |
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Timed Out
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Diva
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chez Diva
Posts: 11,879
Thanks: 9,263
Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts
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Why LOOK, boys and girls......it's cousin Bebo and cousin Blue....come to play!!! Hi boys!
~Auntie Diva |
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11-09-2009, 01:05 PM
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#4 | |
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Timed Out
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Diva
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chez Diva
Posts: 11,879
Thanks: 9,263
Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts
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Quote:
Cousin Blue....now don't make me make you go get a switch from the pecan tree.....you know good and well your Auntie Diva doesn't start drinking before 1:30 in the afternoon! |
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11-09-2009, 01:09 PM
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#5 |
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Senior Member
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Femme Relationship Status:
I need ya boo, gotta see ya boo Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Big Money Texas
Posts: 4,708
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Thanked 13,075 Times in 3,049 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856 |
YAY Auntie Diva...
I love your stories more than this fat kid loves ice cream... 'cause cousin G will knock me over & steal my cake if I have any!! |
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11-09-2009, 01:19 PM
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#6 | |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
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Diva
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chez Diva
Posts: 11,879
Thanks: 9,263
Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts
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Quote:
Cousin G won't steal your cake, cousin KaratePrincess, because he knows I will make him go to the pecan tree if he DOES! Your Auntie Diva has spoken. Now go eat your cake and drink your Special Kool~Aid, cousin KP....... Love, Your Auntie Diva |
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11-09-2009, 01:39 PM
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#7 |
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Senior Member
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Butch, Switch, Comedian...G...whichever. Preferred Pronoun?:
He....with an e! Relationship Status:
I'll take kinky & twisted for $200, Alex!! Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: in the middle
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CAAAAAAAKE!!! Move over Cousin Karate Princess....and get me a fork....I want some CAKE!!!! Gimme gimme gimme!!!!!
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11-09-2009, 01:43 PM
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#8 |
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Timed Out
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Diva
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chez Diva
Posts: 11,879
Thanks: 9,263
Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts
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Oh dear gay....look who the cat drug in......
Cousin SHIZZLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <eyein' that pecan tree> |
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11-09-2009, 01:52 PM
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#9 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch, Switch, Comedian...G...whichever. Preferred Pronoun?:
He....with an e! Relationship Status:
I'll take kinky & twisted for $200, Alex!! Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: in the middle
Posts: 2,281
Thanks: 874
Thanked 6,165 Times in 1,450 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
Auntie Nanny Nizzle, quit staring at that pecan tree! Tell Karate Princess to give me some cake!! She won't share!
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11-09-2009, 01:54 PM
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#10 |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
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Diva
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chez Diva
Posts: 11,879
Thanks: 9,263
Thanked 17,174 Times in 5,239 Posts
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Boys and girls, this was a story your Auntie Diva wrote when she went to the NYC Dance in April of 2008.....I thought you cousins might enjoy a laugh at your Auntie Diva's expense.....
*********************** Yes, boys and girls....it's storytime with Auntie Diva once again! Today's story is about Auntie Diva and the Maypole..... Well! Auntie Diva wants to tell You about the Maypole, children! Now one might think that dancing around the Maypole should ONLY happen in May!! Au contraire, boys and girls!! For Auntie Diva ~ being the hooligan that she IS ~ has danced around the Maypole in APRIL!!! Did You know that Auntie Diva danced around the APRILpole? Oh yes she DID! Auntie Diva was at a big, amazing dance this past weekend! Can You say "A fun time was had by ALL", boys and girls? SO! Your Auntie Diva looked and looked and looked....and there! She spotted the perfect pole around which to dance! So, she took off her shoes (a lovely, strappy little black open~toed/open~heeled alligator, 2" heel slide) and crossed the floor to the pole. There, Auntie Diva decided to dance with the pole in such a way that one may very well have thought her name could have been Helga, The Striptease Artist from the 1930's! Oh YES, boys and girls! Dance, dance, dance....see Auntie Diva dance!!! Now, here is the lesson for today, boys and girls ~ always dance around the Aprilpole in shoes which grip the floor ~ unless of course you're dancing on the NOVEMBERpole, in which case the pole resembles a turkey leg and is MUCH easier to hang onto. Plus, you get a snack! (Feel free to use this for future reference!) Your Auntie Diva clearly did not have on her grippy shoes!! The twirling began innocently enough, boys and girls ~ as you know your Auntie Diva IS innocent as the sky on a sunny day! ~ however, things took a downward spiral rather quickly......literally! And, centrifical force and gravity ~ is this redundant? ~ being what it IS ~ and your Auntie Diva being Rubenesque ~ well....shall we just say that she was as graceful as she could possibly have been in this situation when the gravity took over your Auntie Diva's ass! And she just decided to go with it and make it look like she MEANT to spin to the floor.....just like a warped hula hoop! Oh yes!!!! Splat, Auntie Diva, splat!!!! It became apparent that many of the attendees might think your Auntie Diva had been sipping on the Appletini bottle without a straw, but NOOOoooooo!!! Your Auntie Diva had only had 2 small glasses of pinot grigio and was in complete control of her faculties.....however she clearly was NOT in control of her hula hoops! And the 2nd lesson today, boys and girls? Perhaps the Maypole Dance SHOULD be reserved for May after all!!!! Signed, Your Auntie Diva Pole Dance Instructor To The Masses |
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