A Community Request

[Linus]

Originally Posted by Nat

I ran across this today and thought it was advice I could use. So I thought I'd share.

"Disagreeing agreeably requires two behaviors up-front and one more as a refinement. The two required behaviors up-front are:

1. Acknowledge the other person's idea is valid.
2. Assert that your position is different. Not better, just different.

The refinement that helps you avoid a defensive reaction is to keep listening to their idea longer than you normally would. Ask questions. Be curious. Really hear them out.

If you can accept that the disagreement of others doesn't diminish your ideas, then you can afford to be patient and generous."

- Tom Henschel

I think the 2nd point is an important one. I think we often confuse disagreement with someone trying to "look better" or make ourselves feel like we're inadequate or something like that.

Thanks for posting this, Nat.